Post # 1
My wedding’s in a few weeks and it’s not in my budget to supply each table with hard alcohol at the reception. I’ll be providing wine and champagne, a signature drink during cocktail hour and maybe beer. But my stepmom is offering to donate a few bottles of Remy Martin XO cognac to give to “the senior tables” only. I think other tables would be envious though, so I’d like to make it fair and play a game to see who gets it. Plus I think it’d be a great opportunity to infuse some competitive fun by having all the tables compete!
It can be a raffle or a trivia game and whichever table answers the fastest wins a bottle. I think I’ll have about 2-3 bottles and about 10 tables.
My wedding is Black Tie formal btw, but who says you can’t have games/fun at Black Tie events? My stepmom doesn’t think this is a good idea but I wanted to run it by you guys because I actually think it’s a great idea.
Your thoughts are appreciated!
Post # 3
I hate to be a downer, but it honestly sounds really tacky to me. Plus, it seems rude, I mean, you’ll be giving out alcohol to some guests but not all, which is a huge bummer if you’re a guest from a “loser” table.
Post # 4
I don’t think it fits in with a black tie theme. Plus – are you raffling it off for people to drink there? Meaning, the rest of the guests don’t get the liquor? I don’t think that’s fair at all.
I also think it’s rude to put bottles on only select tables. It sends the wrong message to your other guests (“I liked these people enough to give them booze, but you weren’t worth that cost”).
Post # 5
I think it should be equal. Everyone gets liquor or nobody does. I think giving the liquor to the “serior” tables but not to others is also pretty bad.
Post # 6
@carrierbleu: that might be illegal. I know it is in my state.
Post # 7
Honestly, it sounds a bit tacky to me. You can’t give some people a bunch of alcohol and then leave others out. All or nothing, in my opinion!
Post # 8
Fun at a bachelorette party, tacky at a wedding (especially a black tie only one).
Pick what you can have available to everyone and make a menu of that and stick with it. Beer, wine, and a signature drink is just fine.
May I ask, what is your overall budget for this black tie wedding? I just ask because it is unusual in my circle to have a black tie wedding but not a full open bar, because there is a perceived level of expense that goes along with black tie. When you say black tie, are you expecting people to wear tuxes and gowns?
I only did beer, wine, and a signature drink, but our wedding was semi-formal.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t like it because then the losers are left with nothing. I don’t like putting it only on certain tables either, that’s pretty rude. I’d say all or nothing as well.
Post # 10
@carrierbleu: Oh my…so tacky. I love that you want to have fun with your wedding (who says black tie has to equally stodgy?), but I think there are better ways to incorporate some lighthearted fun.
Post # 11
Maybe give it to the wedding party to have. But yeah I’m not a fan of the raffling.
Post # 12
I think this is a terrible idea. I also think maybe it shouldn’t be a black tie wedding.
And I don’t think any kind of games fit in with a black tie wedding. I would definitely try to serve beer. Men don’t want to get dressed in a tuxedo and find out they can’t even have a beer.
Post # 13
I am also in the tacky camp. I’d just have the cognac reserved for bridal party and immediate family. Are you having a bartender? Or you could just do a cigars and cognac section for the guys to enjoy while the ladies talk and dance.
Post # 14
@carrierbleu: Skip the raffle and tell your stepmom no to the bottles on select tables. Weddings are an all or nothing deal when it comes to offering something to guests.
Post # 15
1) IMO reception hospitality should apply to all guests or no guests. Singling out certain tables for extra hospitality never looks good.
2) The trivia games probably wouldn’t accomplish the goal of giving extra stuff to the guests who would appreciate it most, since it’s entirely possible that a competitve trivia-loving table could win without actually caring about the prize itself.
Will the seniors be at the rehearsal dinner? Maybe you can serve the cognac then instead, so the seniors still get to enjoy it but they aren’t being singled out at the reception?
Or, you or your stepmom could gift the cognac to your older relatives at some point, like to thank them for being your role models.
There are lots of options and ways to give people extras without creating different levels of hospitality at your reception.
Post # 16
Not cool to play raffle games at a wedding. Also not cool to give some guests upgraded food or drink in plain view of others who don’t get the same offer. No one needs a full bottle of Remy per table. Buy enough to serve an after-dinner drink to all those who want it.