Post # 1
So I was on Facebook tonight and one of FIs first cousin’s posted a picture of her baby. A more distant relative (FIs mother’s cousin’s daughter) commented on the picture and they we’re talking about the wedding. Convo went as follows:
(distant relative) I hope I get to meet the baby at the wedding!
(first cousin) we are going to bring him up but no kids are coming to the wedding. I think they may be invited to the rehearsal dinner. You should bring your boyfriend out! Maybe he can stay with my brother.
(distant relative): I want to! Maybe he can babysit for you since I didn’t get a plus one hahahah
Maybe I’m being overly sensitive but I kind of got the impression they were ragging on my wedding. I mean those are facts, but we hardly know distant relative and we could not afford to and guest someone unless they were in a serious relationship. I feel bad if she and this guy are serious, but we dont know her like at all to know that. And i was upset she was even invited to begin with since were not inviting the children of our parents Other cousins (a line has to be drawn somewhere!). And our wedding is in a very fancy venue and doesn’t even start until 7. Dinner won’t be until 8:30/9. There will be a live band lots of booze, cigars etc. Not exactly a kid friendly environment. And again a line had to be drawn or we would end up inviting 400 people. As it is our guest list is staggering out around 200. Ugh! What do you think? Am I being too sensitive or we’re they being snide?
Post # 3
I think 1) You’re probably reading a lot more into it than they actually meant and 2) they shouldn’t be discussing YOUR wedding publicly on a picture
Post # 4
I think they were trying to make light of the situation and didn’t really think it through properly. I don’t think they meant any harm by it. I would still be a little irked though.
Post # 5
Even if they are being snide I think you just have to accept it since it was your choice to throw your wedding the way you are. If everyone agreed with each other on everything the world would be a very boring place!
Post # 6
i think distant relative is having a PA moment with her didnt get a plus one ha ha but try not to let it bother you – everyone is going to have an opinion but one day it will be their turn and they will realize how tough arranging & paying for a wedding can be
Post # 7
I don’t think it’s ragging, per say. However, if they want to put out comments about it they can do it in private! How rude.
Post # 8
Comment: “I can see this!” should nip it in the bud. 😉
Post # 9
People say stupid stuff on facebook all the time, I would just ignore it. They probably meant for you to see it and I wouldn’t enable them by commenting on it.
Post # 10
I think you’re overracting and maybe feeling defensive about things. If they were only stating facts, what is the problem? Especially since they just mentioned “the wedding”. The didn’t even name you specifically.
Don’t pay it any mind!
Post # 11
@HeMadeMeWantTo: You replaced your pretty face! I like your avatar, it’s funky, but your original photo was gorgeous.
Post # 12
So I couldn’t sleep because I Was peeved. Eventually FI said he would just send her a message. He said
“hey (distant relative) hope you’re doing well. We noticed the comments on (first cousins) baby pictures and are thrilled youre planning to come to the wedding and I’m looking forward to seeing you. I just ask one thing, Not everyone who has Facebook is invited to the wedding, or else we’d end up with a thousand people and have to spend a million bucks! I try to keep wedding details on Facebook on the DL so we don’t Hurt the feelings of those we just can’t afford to invite.But I’m really psyched you’re coming and am looking forward to seeing your family. Better bring your dancing shoes.”
Anyway, this morning the comments were removed. Maybe we took it too far, but she’s such a fringe person to us and we haven’t even sent invites yet ( they’re going out this weekend I promise!). Ifeel if we nip these things in the butt now, it will save us headaches down the road. Hopefully.
Post # 13
They werent ragging on the wedding they were just saying what is true. No babies and no +1 …. unless its not true, not only that but they didnt say it was your wedding did they?? how do you know it wasnt somebody elses wedding???
You are way overreacting, I dont think your FI should have said anything, how would anybody know its YOUR wedding and so what if they talk about how babbies and boyfriends werent invited, its true right?!?
Post # 14
I think the way you responded was fine. I do, however, think that what they said was largely ok. If they haven’t planned a wedding recently, they might not even think about the fact that not all family members on facebook were invited.
I think you should let it go now though. It sounds like they’re excited to come!
Post # 15
@candykiss: Seriously if I read that I would think- wow self absorbed much! You don’t even know for sure they were talking about your wedding since they are distant relatives they could have been talking about anyone wedding!
Post # 16
I think you handled it really well. People just don’t think when they’re on facebook, and forget sometimes how many people can see what they’re writing. This happens to me with students, whose friend requests I’ll answer, but I put them in a restricted list so they can’t see anything but my profile picture and school info – alas, they do not do the same, and I have many times pulled up my newsfeed to find them complaining to each other about my class, or announcing to the world that they’re only just starting the paper that’s due the next morning. I usually leave it alone and then make another announcement in class to consider privacy issues on fb.