- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
This is more of a "kids" question than a "babies" question, but a post I saw on OffbeatMama (one of my favorite blogs even though I'm not a mama!) got me thinking - if you are agnostic/atheist/non-religious, how do you plan on raising your children in terms of religious education?
My DH was raised non-religiously and feels very uncomfortable when people discuss Christianity because he has no understanding of it. Before me, he didn't know Bible stories like Adam and Eve, didn't understand why people made such a big deal over Jesus Christ, and on. To me, understanding religion, especially Christianity since it is the prevalent religion in the US, is really important in being culturally aware and also being able to make your own choices about how you want to live your life religiously/spiritually.
At the same time, we're agnostic and it would be dishonest to raise our kids going to Sunday School every week just so they can have some sort of religious foundation. I'm thinking of getting lots of Bible story children's books and teaching them ourselves, but it would obviously be easier and more comprehensive with a third party.
What will you all do?
I was not brought up religious and am not a religious person. I like the idea of learning about different religions with my kids. We will see when the time comes (I don't have children yet) if this is how I still feel but I hope I still do.
I think its always positive to raise your child with an open mind and expose them to all different things. I think the best thing to do, especially in your situation where you want your child ro be aware even though you don't necessarily believe, is to take them to museum exhibits about different cultures/religions, read them books about them, talk about them, etc. You don't need to send a child to Sunday school to teach them about God, you can do it at home and in a more 'this is what some people believe' way
I did grow up going to church on Sunday (and Wednesday) and my husband grew up going to Catholic school (but not church). We're not particularly religious, but I do want our children to be exposed to Christianity (along with other religions). I want to give them the tools to make their own decision about religion, and I think the only way to do that is via knowledge. I also like the sense of community that can come from being involved in a religious group. Finally, I do think that some Bible stories provide a good framework for living your life (be kind to your neighbor, etc). As a result, we have decided that when we have kids, we will expose them to church (probably not every week though) and as they grow, allow them to make there own decision regarding their beliefs.
I was born and raised into a very religious family. While I do hold some of the same key Christian beliefs as my parents have--and had--I do not think we will be raising our children in the same way at all. We both have similar faiths and while raising our children I feel like giving them the choice to choose what they believe is right. I can't force them to believe once they are old enough to think on their own.
I'm Catholic and my husband is Lutheran. Neither of us like the other's religion or their churches where we grew up so we've tried to find another religion to have our child grow up in. There is actually a great Presbyterian church up the street from our house.
Ideal? Nope. Compromise? Yep.
I don't see how its dishonest to raise a child and send them to Sunday school even if it's not something that you or your husband wish to partake in. Rounded educations are wonderful for children.
I do not think that it is important to teach your children about Christianity if you are not religious. It doesn't make sense to me. I agree that it is important to be socially conscious but this does not mean you need to teach them about Christianity. Why not talk to them about ALL religions? Why not talk to them about being Jewish, christian, etc.. if you want to talk to them about religion.
We are not religious and do not plan to teach our children religion. I was raised in a non-religious home but I learned about religion thru other people. I will explain different beliefs to my children when the topic comes up, but I will not teach them about one above all others. Because we don't "beleive", it doesn't make sense to us. Just like I will teach them about different cultures, I will teach them about different religions but I will not hold one up above the others. For me, it will be more like "other people believe this and that" and will also explain that people beleive different things.
I'm not religious- we will teach our children the basics of most religions (I say most because there are a lot of religions :D ). I want my children to have an understanding of the world around them and to be open to different things. If they choose to follow a religion I support that.
I'm agnostic and FI is an athiest. My dad is also an athiest, but at school I got taught religion. I think we will give DS a choice as to whether he wants to participate or not at the program the school offers, but there is no way he would do sunday school or go to church.
I am struggling with this as well. My husband's parents regularly attend church but strictly non denominational. My MIL grew up going to church, but was never assigned a specific religion (I mean, christianity, but not a specific type). My FIL grew up Catholic and disagrees with a lot of what they teach. My dad is a severely lapsed catholic who has a problem with organized religion of all kinds, and my mom was never much of a churchgoer (although she believes in all the tenets of christianity).
My husband is pretty indifferent about how we raise our kid with regard to religion, and I am undecided. I would kind of like some sort of church exposure, not necessarily for the religious teachings but just the general community and morals that go along with it. I imagine we'll maybe just visit a few of the churches nearby, because I do know I want my baby to be baptized.
My dad is a lapsed Catholic, my mom is a secular Jew. They didn't do much to formally introduce me to religion.
But i never felt like I didn't understand the basics of Christianity. Our culture is so steeped in it; it's hard NOT to learn about it! I think your husband might be the exception - most kids I know who were raised without religion still understand that Christianity teaches that Jesus was the son of God, that he died for humans' sins, etc. They might think that's weird, lol, but they understand it.
I raised my child to have a strong moral character, and to "do unto others" and to believe there are powers that are greater than herself. God is not a four-letter word, I just don't believe in organized religion for various reasons.
Also, I agree with what MightWombat says :)
I grew up in a non-religious household while FI grew up going to church but now considers himself atheist.
We plan on raising our children the same way I was raised. If they have questions about religion we'll answer them but I don't think we have to go out of our way to teach them different religions. You'd be surprised how much kids pick up.
I wasn't brought up in a religious household. We didn't go to church and I didn't go to Sunday School although I was baptized as an infant. I went to vacation bible school for a week every summer and loved it but never really understood that it was a "religious" thing. I just thought it was a fun place with these fun stories and fun crafts and fun activities. I feel like it was the perfect way to expose me to it without being overbearing on me or being hypocritical. Now as an adult I have found religion and I am very glad that I found it and I was able to make my own decision about it. My church doesn't baptize infants. They want the children to be old enough to make a decision to accept God into their lives if they so choose to. It's up to the children when/if they're baptized. They don't have a Sunday School exactly, just a place called Kid City where they get to learn the stories through activities and fun crafts. It's one of those big "mega" churches which actually just works for us. We are somewhat religious but we don't feel guilty if we miss church, we can go Saturday afternoon/evening if we feel like sleeping in and our child will be able to go there and make their own decisions about their religion. If they choose not to get baptized and want to learn about other religions or choose not to partake at all we will support that as well.
This thread is really interesting. I'm a christian, and I think it's great that so many of you are willing to expose your kids to different religions and allow them to make their own choice. I'm saying that because even if my parents weren't christians, I still would be. I'm so grateful for being able to make that decision. Also from my experience with sunday school, there is really nothing harmful/controversial that they will teach young kids. It's very basic and there tends to be a focus on the fact that God loves them and how special and unique they are. Also on how they should treat others.
I was not raised a Christian, but converted in high school. The most I ever got from my parents as a children's Bible, and then a few discussions with them where they shared what they believed. My father is also from a Jewish family, so I was able to get a bit of that too.
I think, in your case, to be fair, I would introduce your children to "religious education" not "Christian education." Introduce them to books, museum exhibits and documentaries that discuss all the religions. Yes, I think it is important to know who Jesus is. But it's also important to know who Mohammad is and Buddha... You know, ever year around Christmas and Easter, they have documentaries on the History channel. Just encourage them to watch that sort of thing. Keep it non-biased and informational. It can be something you learn together as a family.
very interesting discussion. I am Jewish and my husband is agnostic/atheist (I am not sure he has figured out which one yet) who was raised in a very religious southern baptist family. We have decided to raise our kids Jewish, yet we still want my husband to have an active role in our child's spiritual and moral parenting. But we struggle with how to do this - my husband heard about this book for nonreligious parents called "Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion" that we are going to check out....
This is such an interesting topic, and comes at such a perfect time. Did anyone else go to a lot of baptisms/christenings this weekend??
My husband and I are both agnostic. We don't believe in organized religion, and really don't believe in anything organized religion stands for or practices. As such, our children will be raised in a non-religious household. I will happily explain religion to my children, and will be happy to bring them to any service they may have interest themselves in exploring. I feel spirituality is a very personal journey, and as such would like my children to explore that on their own with no judgement or preconvieved notions from us as parents. We will offer them guidance, but that is about the extent of what we'd like to do.
This also brings up another question though. Will you be baptising/christening your children? I come from a very catholic upbrining, and some of my husbands family is espisopalian. When it has come up, I always let family know our children won't be baptised and my parents have responded in horror even though they themselves aren't active catholics and have been shunned from the religion due to divorce. My mother says it is "bad luck" not to baptize the baby.
I plan on firmly stating "we will not be baptizing the baby, and it isn't something up for discussion"
I'm not pregnant yet, but hope to be by the end of the year and this is something I dread regularly. I find it ironic that the most judgemental people on the planet tend to be Christians. I respect those with religion, why can't they respect me?
I love hearing everyone's views on this! There are obviously so many ways to go about it and no right way to raise your kids when it comes to this.
In response to the comment many of you have had about not focusing just on Christianity but teaching them about world religions, I certainly understand what you are saying and think that is great advice. But for several reasons, we would probably want our kids to have the most foundation in Christianity. Some of those reasons are: Christianity is very prevalent in our American culture; I identify most with it because it is the faith of my family; I think the lessons of Christianity are good and since I am most familiar with them I feel most comfortable teaching them; and more. But of course I want our kids to know about world religions from books, museums, documentaries, etc. I am talking more about the religious lessons we would share asa a part of our lifestyle rather than solely for education.
I could see us going about it how Miss Sapphire has - finding a church that is a good compromise for us and attending as a family so our children can get exposure to the lessons and to the community church provides. Then, in family discussions, we would just be sure to say that, "Some people believe the stories we learn about at church are true. Other people think they are just stories to help us understand things and didn't really happen. Either way there are good lessons we can learn. What's the lesson to learn from [insert Bible story]." And then we would also talk about that some people don't believe in stories about Jesus, but about Mohammed or Buddha and that those stories teach good lessons too.
I basically just want to raise our kids to to feel like they have a spiritual/cultural foundation to guide their lives, while also knowing that they can choose for themselves. I also want to be honest with them that this is a journey for me and DH too and that we don't have all the answers, or believe that anyone really does. That can be a lot harder than simply practicing a religion!
We were talking about this topic this weekend. I was raised Roman Catholic and he was never baptised nor seen the inside of a church very often. He wanted to know the reasons i felt so strongly about raising our kids catholic.
I just know that some of the most happiest times in my life took place in church, (weddings,First Communions, confirmations, baptisms,etc.) but also some the saddest(my mom& brother passing away). It wasn't so much the church it self but the spirituality that I feel there. I know that my religion provided me with comfort during some really tough times and I would like our kids to have the same comfort in tough times and joyus occasions.
I wasn't raised religious, but I went to "bible school" in school from k-5th grade. LOVED my teacher, too. It was more like learning from a text book (which happened to the a bible) than the actual religious foundations you get from a church. (Kinda like how you would learn about religions in college.)
My FI and I aren't religious. his family are mormons. We belive in heaven and hell, yes, but we've also got our own beliefs on religions and (no offense to the religious), we just don't "preach" it to our kids. We give them the truth and that's that. And, as we all know, the truth is how you concieve it.
I'd rather teach my kids the truth of how the world was formed from a scientific view which can be backed up with facts than by the religious way. Give me fact over something written by men when women were nothing more than chattel ANY DAY.
Again, no offense to anyone, but that's my view and it's pretty equal to my FI's view.
@Zinzerena: I really respect and appreciate your approach. I don't think that religion and science are mutually exclusive, although I was raised to think that because I grew up in a very fundamentalist Christian faith. I feel like we could tell our kids - "This is what scientists think about why we are here. Science is different than faith, because science can be proved, and faith is something you believe and feel in your heart. Scientists can tell us why they think we are here, but religion can tell us HOW we should live while we are here."
@daniellemybelle: Thanks. :) I've been around WAY too many people who are religious fanatics and have a very different view on everything. And...it would probably turn this thread upside down, so I'm not gonna go there ;)
A person can believe in Heaven, Hell, and whatever god they choose without being "religous". At least, that's MY opinion and one that I'm hoping that my two kids will learn.
and you REALLY don't wanna get my FI started on the Mormon faith, lol. Or any, for that matter. He's worse than I am!
I grew up reading this book. I loved it so much as a child. I didn't go to Church all that often but I grew up in a country where Christianity was the norm where I was and Islam was the norm in other parts. My FI is muslim. Both of us are agnostics...well, more towards atheists than agnostics but anyhow, I will be exposing my children to Xtianity. I love those stories and it wouldn't hurt. I have no plans of going to Church. The only time I go is to listen to the hymns. Bad I know, but there you have it. I love Lenten hymns. If my FI is so inclined, he can expose the children to his religion. I will probably not be teaching my kids anything about other religions, not because I think there is anything wrong with them, but because I don't know most things about them and honestly, I'm not that curious about a lot of other religions enough to learn about them and teach my children. I could get them books from the libraries though!
Our best friends are not religious; they are vaguely Christian, but have never had any formal introduction into religion (i.e. never attended church or Sunday school, no religious education, etc...). However, their kids go to the local Catholic school. They have Christian education classes, but they also have general education classes (example: their daughter is learning about Buddhism right now; last year, she learned about Islam and Jewish traditions). Besides getting a fantastic education, they're also learning about world religions. At the end of the day, when they go home, they have family discussions about what they've learned, which aspects they identify with, how they can learn more, etc... It's been a really positive experience for the whole family.
We're Catholic, and we strongly believe in Catholic education, so when our kid(s) are old enough, we'll send them to Catholic school as well. One thing I loved about my Catholic theology courses is the deeper understanding it gave me of all religions; I hope to pass that on to my kids, too.
As someone who earns her living studying and teaching moral philosophy, I just want to point out that there is no necessary connection betwen morality -- how we should live, treat others, etc. -- and religion.
I was raised in a Unitarian chruch so I was exposed to many of the worlds religions. When we have children we are planning to do the same. Not only will our children be able to disccover their own theology they will also have an opportunity be active in many different charities
@bluegreenjean: That's a good point, but while it isn't necessary, it has been human nature throughout time to use that connection to give morality purpose, meaning and context. I feel like especially when it comes to teaching children, using religious stories such as parables are very helpful. While there are plenty aspects of religion I don't agree with, I don't see the need to throw the baby out with the bathwater so to speak :)
We are not having kids for another 6 years but FI and I are not religious whatsoever. We were both 'raised' Catholic. Received holy communion and confirmation. If it were up to me, I wouldn't even get married in a church. But my grandparents are super duper religious. I am very close with my grandmother and it would break her heart if we didn't get married in the church.
Once we have kids, we have to get them baptized because of my grandparents. They would literally disown us if we didn't. I know this is awful to say but if they aren't around by the time I have kids, we would not get them baptized. But we are going to teach our children to keep an open mind in terms of religion
FI and I are sort of in between being agnostic and athiest. I just don't care enough about religion to even think about it most days! We probably won't teach our kids about religion unless they ask. I'm sure it will come up one day and we can explain it, but it was never a big deal when I was a kid so I don't see why we have to meticulously teach our kids about it either.
I really don't like organized religion of any kind either. So I will just let our kids decide what they want to believe when they want to believe it... but I'd be super surprised if they wanted to be religious when none of our families are haha!
@Oribel013690: That will be our take on it as well.
We're not religious at all, neither of our families are (aside from my grandparents, but I don't have much of a relationship with them anyways) so there's no real point in teaching the children about religion from an early age. When they're a bit older and have questions we'll answer them as best as possible and let them know there are many many religions out there. We don't really believe in or like organized religion so we won't be taking them to church. If they decide they want to start going to church that's totally fine by us, but we probably won't go with them.
Just a suggestion, but why not go to church and see how you like it and see if it's something you WOULD like for yourselves and your kids some time in the future?
Great post! When I was younger, I went to Catholic church and sunday school and you know what? I don't remember a damn thing! I seem to remember the stereotypical catholic knowledge as opposed to the truth (truthful being what the bible says)
On the other hand I was taught to love people for who they are, not what they look like and to treat others the way that I want to be treated and you know what? Those are skills that I use everyday.
My two brothers and I were all made to go to church/sunday school and two of us are non religious and my one brother is religious. I also have friends who were not exposed to religion at all when they were younger but are now very active in their churches.
The point is that even if you choose to not raise your child(ren) to be religious when they are younger they can still be outstanding and moral people who might choose a religious lifestyle when they are old enough to decide.
@DanielleZara: I'm not sure if you're responding to a specific poster or just to the entire thread in general but I'll answer for myself.
I've been to church. It's not for me.
I'll have to come back and read all of the responses later. This is such a great topic! I'm more or less atheistic and my husband is more or less Christian (strong faith but I think it's becoming less tied to a particular church than it used to be.) We have definitely not decided exactly how we're going to raise our kids in regards to religion.
I grew up in a non-religious household although we'd go to Quaker meeting occasionally when they were held in our town and I went to church with friends countless times. I can remember my mom sitting down to read from a storybook Bible we had been gifted and making it as far as Adam and Eve getting kicked out of the Garden and Eve being told that bearing children will be painful as punishment. At that point my mom stopped and said, "while there are a lot of good things in this book, I don't believe all of them are true" and resumed reading. I was only 7 or so at the time but it has stuck with me. Right now I'm planning on taking a similar track.
I also went to Catholic school for 6th-8th grades and between that and friends' churches have a pretty firm grasp on the Bible. It's something that I really appreciate because (at least where I live) Christianity is a huge part of the culture.
My husband was raised Catholic but loosely as in holiday church going, baptized, communion, prayers at dinner. But that's the extent of it. Me, I was not raised with religion. Neither of us are religious in the least.
We've talked about this and I think like in other parts of life we hope to raise our kids to be open to everything. We want them to know about all religions, be it Catholicism, Christianity, Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, being agnostic, atheist, etc etc. We want them to know all that is out there and let them make the decision for themselves. We hope that we won't let our own non belief affect their decision.
To me it's the same as wanting to educate them and if the choose to adopt any one religion then that is their choice.
@DanielleZara: I grew up going to church, and DH and I have attended many different churches together in attemps to see if it is right for us. I actually enjoy attending church but don't subscribe to Christianity hook, line and sinker. I don't like the idea of sitting in a pew acting as if I believe something I don't.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 89 |
| beargoose | 54 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 51 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| ndreighton | 46 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| akp0702 | 41 |
| stardustintheeyes | 36 |
| Beckster329 | 36 |
| MrsPom | 35 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| joy2011 | 4 |
| bostongirl27 | 4 |
| roxy821 | 3 |
| Running Elley | 2 |
| DHillwig | 2 |
| flamingred | 1 |
| bunny | 1 |
| hergreenapples | 1 |
| Jenn23 | 1 |
| Gabrielle123 | 1 |
