Post # 1
My wedding is only a month away and there are two couples to whom my FI and I still owe wedding gifts that will be attending our wedding. I did get the one bride a shower gift (I was not invited to the other’s shower) and they both got me gifts for my shower. Do I wait until after or do it now? I usually try to be unique and sentimental about wedding gifts (I know – WRONG) but now I think we are just going to cut a check. I totally broke the one year rule and their registries have expired (i know – SUPER WRONG!)
Yikes! What should I do?
Any thoughts will help! I know I’m a terrible person so please keep the insults to a minimum…
Post # 3
If a gift hadn’t come within a year, I would assume that you weren’t going to send one. It is kind of odd timing to send their wedding gifts now, but if you intended on getting them a wedding gift anyway I guess I wouldn’t worry about the timing as the intentions behind the gift should be the most important thing.
Post # 4
@cmbr: I guess I have been stressing about it for a little bit now because my FI and I were absolutely broke at the time of their weddings and now we aren’t. We just so happen to be planning a wedding now too…
Post # 5
I’d it now and include a note about how now that you’re in wedding world you remembered and fekt guilty about never getting one for them.
Post # 6
I don’t know why on earth you would wait so long to give someone a wedding gift. I don’t mean to sound rude, but did you just attend the wedding empty handed? Why did you attend the wedding if you couldn’t afford to give a gift?
I would say send a gift ASAP with a note explaining why it took so long to give to them.
Post # 7
@Sarahupup: I completely disagree. Just because you couldnt afford a gift, does NOT mean you shouldnt go to support the couple! That attitude just feeds the gift grabby nature some (lots) of brides seem to get these days. Invite people you wish to share the day and celebrate with and if you get a gift on top of that…lucky you, it’s a bonus!
@skiptomylou: To answer your question, I would send the gift out as soon as possible but include a note that apologises for the delay and mention that at the time you couldnt afford to give them anything and that you can now.
Post # 8
@SupermansSweetheart: I just have to disagree right back at you! haha. The only reason I say that, is because I , along with many other people, find that it’s rude to show up empty handed. If I go over a friend’s party, I bring some Soda. If I go to a birthday party, I bring a card. If I go to a wedding, I bring a gift. It’s just what you do. Now I am not talking a $500 check, I’m talking about even a $20 picture frame. A token of congratulations. It’s in poor taste to show up to a free dinner for someone’s wedding and not give them a single thing as a thank you…… but then when YOUR wedding is coming up, just randomly giving a gift.
it’s not being gift-grabby, its all-around proper etiqutte and consideration..
It looks contrived and very very odd. That is why I suggest sending a gift with an explanation note.
Post # 9
@Sarahupup: I agree with adding in a note and I also understand where you’re coming from.
Generally, I agree with you and wouldnt show up empty handed at a party or wedding, but almost everyone goes through fiancial hardship at some time or another(sometimes people dont have $20 to spare) and I dont think the guest should have to excuse themselves because of it. They were invited because they were wanted there and I am sure had they said to the bride, ahead of time that they couldnt afford a gift, the bride/groom would have said dont worry about it.
Bride/groom – should never expect gifts or be upset if not everyone gives one – but be appreciative when they are given.
Guests – should bring a gift if they can, but also not have to feel mandated to do so. They were invited to celebrate their friends/families union, they are not your personal shoppers.
Post # 10
@skiptomylou: Send them a gift now but include a nice note explaining the delay for the gift.
Post # 11
Honestly, I don’t really think I’d remember or care if someone hadn’t given me a wedding gift a year+ after my wedding. I’d think it was super weird if I just got a check in the mail at random one day. If you MUST give them a gift I would send it before your own wedding. If you send it after it may come off to them as you waiting to see if they would be giving you a gift before you decided to send one for them. Also, if they give you a $100 check are you going to send a $100 check back? That really doesn’t make any sense to me.
Post # 12
I would think it was really weird to receive a gift at this point. We actually just received a gift from a guest a week ago (our wedding was in June) and I found that a bit strange. I also think the timing would be very weird to them. It would seem like you are only giving them a gift so that they would give you a gift.
However, I guess if you’re going to give a gift no matter what I would do it now with a note about why there was a delay.
@Sarahupup: I would be very upset if a family member or friend didn’t come to our wedding because they could not afford a gift. I would much rather have them come (and pay for their meal/drinks) and spend that time with them than have them not come just because they couldn’t afford to bring a present.
Post # 13
@MrsBeck: If she can afford to have a wedding, which seems enough to be fancy enough to have RSVP cards and many guests, I would assume she could afford a gift. There really is not excuse. I can buy a nice little photo album or a candle at the dollar store and wrap it. I think its tasteless to show up with absolutely nothing in hand. But that is just my opinion, and not given to be offensive. I just think, that 99% of people who get zip, ziltch, not even a card , as a wedding gift would have their head spinning.
Post # 14
@skiptomylou: I agree with @cmbr: It will seem odd because of the timing, but better late than never. Do write a nice note explaining/apologizing for the delay. Now, gift away asap!