To all you beach brides
more by secondchances
I am so excited I had to share! (and need advice)
Your most frequent "nag"
more in Relationships
How Would You Define "Soul Mates"?
Confirming BFP!
more in Boards
Is B-yaz enough?

Random relationship question

posted 7 months ago in Relationships
  • poll: Does your FI/SO/DH share similarities with your ex boyfriend/husband?
    Yes- they are very much alike. I go for a certain type. : (0 votes)
    Sort of- They have many things in common but some distinct differences. : (43 votes)
    37 %
    Not at all- Like you this time I choose someone the complete opposite. : (65 votes)
    57 %
    I have no one to compare with. I am with my first love. : (7 votes)
    6 %
  •  
    1.
    Member
    2,330 posts
    Buzzing bee
    secondchances    August 2012   Western MD

    I am constantly amazed at how different my FI is from my ex. Froggy treats me like a princess and everything is done with my happiness and wellbeing in mind. My ex was horribly abusive and I will leave it at that (don't want to spoil my mood thinking much about him). However I guess I thought they would have something in common: interests, goals, hobbies, likes, dislikes, etc. The only thing they seem to share in common is their gender. It constantly amazes me! 

    So my random question is: Are your FI's/SO's/ DH's more like your ex boyfriends/husbands or are they polar opposites?

     
    2.
    Member
    6,816 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    moderndaisy    June 2010  

    They are alike in that they're both very smart successful, funny and well spoken but the similarities end there. DH is very physically attractive and my ex was not (I dont' care about looks, I go for personality). They come from different backgrounds - my ex came from a very wealthy family and DH does not (although they aren't poor or anything - just not millionaires). And while I can't really complain about how my ex treated me, DH treats me way better which I never even thought was possible. He doesn't expect me to act a certain way to impress his family and friends like my ex did which was really annoying. I never felt that the real me was good enough, with DH I feel free to be myself at all times.

     
    3.
    Member
    6,219 posts
    Bee Keeper
    MissPumpkinPie    October 13, 2012   Jersey Shore

    They're complete opposites.  :) 

    My ex was more concerned about himself.  He was sweet and loving in the beginning, then completely turned.

    FI is so loving and caring.  Very considerate as well.  

    There's a million differences between them both, but the most important is that I feel 100% complete with FI and have so much more confidence in our relationship together.

     
    4.
    Member
    2,639 posts
    Sugar bee
    Miss Longcoat    March 31, 2012   Woodbridge, VA

    All of my exes were the same.  My sister likes to say that I like them "big and dumb."

    Fi, on the other hand, is the complete opposite and were are perfectly matched.

     
    5.
    Member
    3,679 posts
    Sugar bee
    cyndistar3    September 3, 2011   Post Falls ID

    They are only the same in the fact they both have said they disown me because I have never seen the Goonies... Other than that they are 100% different.

     
    6.
    Member
    1,840 posts
    Buzzing bee
    adnama    July 21, 2012   Langley, Britsh Columbia

    My most serious ex and my FI have some similarities in likes (both are into gaming, though not hardcore).   But other than that, nothing at all is the same.  Personalities are completely different.

     
    7.
    Member
    2,034 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Koala Bear       Ontario, Canada

    I don't have any true exes (meaning I don't count anyone i dated at the age of 13 an ex) but I guess my BF is different from them. Maybe you can add the option of those who are still with their first loves.

     
    8.
    Member
    2,330 posts
    Buzzing bee
    secondchances    August 2012   Western MD

    @Koala Bear: Ok added an option for you. Thanks!

     
    9.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1,483 posts
    Bumble bee
    EleanorRigby    June 2011  

    I've had three serious relationships (including my husband) and they are all very different.

    I sometimes can't even believe I dated the guy I was with before I met my husband!

     
    10.
    Member
    1,343 posts
    Bumble bee
    Blondee    August 24, 2012  

    Nope. He is the complete opposite from all of my exes, thank god!

     
    11.
    Member
    816 posts
    Busy bee
    stokieGal    December 15, 2012   stoke on trent, uk

    my ex was big bloke, loud arrogant, a heavy drinker too (nasty drinker) smoked. had his good points he would spoil me rotten, but money isn;t everything and i much prefer affection to material possesions. all that said he's the father of my son and for that i do care for him to some extent, and he's a good dad

    my fi.... where do i start, not a big drinker (a soppy happy drunk when he does drink, major selling point for me) he's romantic, loving, treats me like a princess, doesn't have a temper in the slightest... great with my son. and he's so affectionate 

    in away i should thank my ex he truely showed me everything i wanted in a man... the opposite of him lol. 

     
    12.
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    hana.schmitt    November 4, 2011   Belfast, United Kingdom

    Ummm. They both like horror movies and heavy metal (though FI's taste is far better in both). But that's it.

    FI is perfect, ex was an abusive, manipulative, whiny manchild douche. He's the only ex I'm not on speaking/good terms with because of his behavior towards the end/at the breakup/after the breakup.

     

     
    13.
    Member Icon
    Member
    438 posts
    Helper bee
    gramgeek    March 10, 2013  

    I'd say all my past men are different. It wasn't conscious though. With my bf however, I could say that I was more aware of what I wanted when we got together. Its called conscious dating? Also, I have changed/grown too so it's natural that I'm with this person and not that person.

     

     
    14.
    Member
    8,189 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    HappilyEverAfter54    June 23, 2012   Central Pennsylvania

    They are similar yet different.

    They both love raves, electronic music, drinking, the beach, movies, parks, walks... small things like that. (all things I love as well though)

    My ex FI was in jail though, lied a lot, was a cheat, took off for days at a time and I had no idea where he was...

    My FI was in the Marines, was cheated on instead of the cheater, calls when he gets off work to let me know he's on his way home and I never have to ask where he is.

     
    15.
    Member
    1,824 posts
    Buzzing bee
    littlemissmango    July 7, 2012   Oahu, HI

    Hmm. There's one ex I have that doesn't fit the bill but the other two do share some of the same characteristics with FI. A gentle spirit, caring, somewhat quiet and shy but still able to have fun and joke around.

    They don't act the same in a relationship, though. I felt like I never truly knew where I stood with the other two, and with FI I have never doubted a day in my life how much he loves me and is committed to me. Plus the exes were kind of douchebags in their own ways. Lol. 

     
    16.
    Member
    1,859 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Ree723    July 9, 2011   Australia

    Oh my goodness, they could not be more different if they tried!   DH is intelligent and loves learning; the ex was not big on school and not overly gifted on the academic front.  DH is interested in history, current events, politics, economics, geography, science, and nature; the ex is interested in baseballl, other sports, and partying.  DH loves being active but does not play any team sports; the ex constantly talked about he was an amazing baseball player who should have been drafted but wasn't.   

    DH is very fit, enjoys eating a healthy diet, and never drinks to excess; the ex ate a lot of junk food, hardly any veg, and regularly drank to excess.  DH is happy relaxing at home reading books together (not the same book, we cuddle together whilst reading); the ex would sigh in a melodramatic fashion every time I picked up a book.  DH loves to travel the world and we are always planning our next big holiday; the ex never wanted to leave America as "there is nothing to see anywhere else".  

    I could go on and on and on.  Suffice to say, I count my blessings every day that the opportunity to move overseas came up when I was dating my ex and eventually caused us to break up.   I could not imagine being married to him - especially now being married to the man of my dreams and knowing what I would have missed out on.

    I suppose I should also mention that I dated my ex from the age of 23 - 25 and met my DH when I was 29.  Life experience and maturity certainly opened my eyes to what I wanted and did not want in a partner.  

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    MissBoPeep 89
    beargoose 54
    hisgoosiegirl 51
    Mrs.KMM 46
    ndreighton 46
    BetterSherm 42
    akp0702 41
    stardustintheeyes 36
    Beckster329 36
    MrsPom 35

    Relationships

    User Posts Today
    NVACat 3
    KatNYC2011 2
    bostongirl27 2
    MsMonkey 2
    Mrs.Enne 2
    GroovyHippieChick 2
    KelsieLea7 2
    tifnseth16 2
    SapphireSun 1
    AmuseMeMusically 1
    More