- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Well, I’m probably about to sound like a serious jerk on here, but I just have to get this stuff off my chest…
And I need some advice.
Well…I just can’t believe how absoloutely ridiculous people begin to act once two people announce that they are getting married. I’m having so many problems with future in-laws, family, friends, blah, blah, blah.
It all started…let’s see…the DAY we got engaged. My fiance and I walk into his parents house beaming with our newly engaged bliss. We can’t wait to make the big announcement. We excitedly tell them that we’re getting married! His mom gets excited for about two seconds and then of course wants to see the ring. First thing she says? “It’s bigger than mine.” Second thing: “Y’all are planning on waiting about five years to actually get married, right?”. And the drama begins.
Ever since that day (which was totally crapped on by her) she has said something EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. about how we are rushing things and how we need to slow it way down. How we are ruining our lives.
Some background: Fiance and I have been dating for three years. We are both in the 20-25 age bracket (I know some will say this is young, but we are from the deep south and most expect for couples to get married in their early 20s; it would be weirder here for somebody to be over 25 and unmarried). He has graduated from college, has a good full-time job. I will graduate in about four months, and promptly start job hunting. His salary alone is sufficient to support us. We aren’t getting married until August of 2013.
WE ARE NOT RUSHING.
His parents are literally driving me crazy. We both still live with our parents becasue he didn’t want to start house hunting until we were engaged and its a good way to save money. We have no space of our own. I feel like we literally have to hide from his parents if we want to discuss anything at all wedding/our future related. It is so freakin ridiculous.
His mother thinks we are ruining our lives, and she is the kind of person who voices this opinion at every possible opportunity. “Oh, y’all are tired and don’t feel like going out to dinner with us tonight? It’s obviously because you’re rushing things and trying to get married way too fast.”
The woman actually says stuff like this. Seriously. We can’t make the slightest complaint about anything at all anymore or it is automatically chalked up to the fact that we are getting married in August.
She constantly is telling me that fall/end of summer weddings are terrible. It will be too hot. Spring weddings are so much better. I always wish I would have had a spring wedding. Don’t you want a spring wedding? You need to have a spring wedding. 2014 is a much better year. Y’all are setting the date already? You need to wait atleast a year to set a date. A year isn’t even enough time for me to think of what kind of wedding I want to have.
Excuse me? What kind of wedding YOU want to have? I believe this is OUR wedding, not yours.
And then…there is his dad. He is equally ridiculous.
For some reason he thinks that we are living in the 70s. He thinks that everybody who is planning on getting married absoloutely has to purchase a house before they tie the knot. He thinks that realtors are ridiculous and steal your money. He thinks that we can just march into the bank and make them give us a house loan even though we have less than six months credit history. He thinks that we need to get a foreclosure house because it will be a better investment. He thinks that credit cards are evil and we should never apply for any. He thinks you can find a house with four bedrooms and three baths that is in awesome consition and on 25 acres of land for less than $50,000. NO. Just, no.
He is right about everything always, no questions asked, don’t even try to discuss it type guy.
My fiance understands that his parents are being ridiculous, but he just doesnt understand why I am getting so pissed about it. I feel like he needs to tell them to SHUT UP. Nicely, of course. If my parents were bombarding him with their “suggestions” (actually more like “you better do this or we won’t like you”), I would totally tell them to shut it and quit being major jerks to my wonderful fiance. But he just doesnt get it! GAH.
It is all so infuriating. I have a nice little temper on me and it is so hard for me to deal with completely irrational people. I haven’t said anything bad yet, but I feel like it’s just a matter of time.
The stupid thing is, I normally love his parents. I don’t always agree with them, but generally we get along peacefully. They really feel like a second family. I go shopping with his mom, we wrap Christmas presents together, I dye her hair, etc. His dad is funny and friendly, he jokes around with me, and always calls and asks if I would like to come on family outings with them even when fiance isn’t going to be there. I just feel like all of this stupid CRAP is going to totally ruin my relationship with them 🙁
So, what do I do? How can I deal with all this cordially, and keep my good relationship with his parents? Can anybody explain to me why they are acting this way? Becauses my parents aren’t AT ALL and I really just cannot understand for the life of me what would make two generally pleasant people be so absoloutely ridiculous.
Sorry for the extreme longness of that rant.