Rant about your FMIL/MIL here

posted 2 years ago in Family
  • poll:
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2549 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Our technique is just not interacting with FMIL.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2549 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    countingstars:  Man, I’m sorry.  My FI isn’t close with his extended family… but they’re all enablers when it comes to how FMIL acts.  But we see his siblings, and his parents aren’t together.  Even his grandmother and great aunt have stopped over without her, which is nice to see.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1249 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’m sorry you are having MIL issues.

    My MIL issue is that she spends too much money on her family and friends and really should be saving it for herself. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2888 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    SeaOfLove: I really wish my FI would stick to this strategy. Works with my parents because I DON’T NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS. 

    wow. That felt good. 

    countingstars: Ugh. I just pretend mine doesn’t exist when she’s being unpleasant. I tell FI that we are busy people and unfortunately, my patience for nonsense is reserved for children and animals. She is neither so until she can act like an adult, I’ll refrain from anything more than polite acknowledgment of her existence 

    Post # 7
    Member
    746 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    countingstars:  holy shit that sounds just friggen bananas!!!!! You poor lil bee!!!! My fmil is quite the fun case as well. Put her children directly in the middle of her divorce, manipulated her children into thinking their father was an abusive, aggressive person that never let her do anything…Unfortunately that turned into 3 years of not talking to said father and alot of hateful things said to him.

    And about the pigsty of a house, dont EVEN go there!

    Post # 8
    Member
    449 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    Ignore Ignore Ignore.. If she’s planning to be in your guys life I would bite my tongue and be the mature one. Sometimes you can’t make people change but you can change how you react. I couldn’t even imagine how much this sucks. My SO’s family  is usually very blunt about things but there isn’t much you can do about what comes out of people’s mouth. I get made fun of for hardly not speaking but it’s just better that way because If I spoke it wouldn’t be pretty lol.

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  MissNC.
    Post # 9
    Member
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2015 - Coastal Maine inn

    My FMIL lets us know at least twice a week that she’s 100% SURE it’s going to rain at our outdoor wedding. AWESOME. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1606 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My mil lies like it’s her job, actually she lies about her job a lot. She also puts DH down all. The. Time. on several occasions she told DH that he shouldn’t bother going to college because he’s not smart enough and he should just join the military. Well, DH graduated Cum Laude and is now an architect. When he was applying for student loans, she kept telling him she would do the parent plus loans and told him many times that she sent in the paperwork for it. She never did. When DH was in highschool she told him that if he makes the honor roll all four years, she would buy him a new car for graduation (because she thinks he’s stupid and it would never happen), well, he made high honor roll all four years… We are still waiting for that car nearly 10 years later. 

    Oh, and the week before our wedding she took me to lunch and told me she thinks DH is an alcoholic and I should host an intervention. DH has definetly partied in his day, but for the 8 1/2 years we have been together, he will drink maybe once a month and has gotten totally smashed 5 times… maybe. Hardly what I would call an alcoholic. 

    I cant stand her. I could tell so many more stories, but I won’t. Sad part is, DH thinks it’s totally normal for family to treat each other like shit because that’s how he grew up. Now he’s closer to my parents than his own mom. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1606 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    BowTiedKangaroo:  wow! She can predict the weather nearly a year in advanced?! Is she a meteorologist for the Weather Channel?!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    She sounds like a real winner!

    My FMIL isn’t awful ALL the time but lately she has been on my last nerve, she even tries to be nice occasionally but she is so awful most of the time I don’t even like her when she is nice.

    Our latest issue with her was actually just a few weekends ago.  FI and I decided to finally get our own phone plan because he had been paying for his and his mom’s phone and we felt if he was going to continue paying for two phones it should be his and mine.  We told her he would be getting a new plan with me 3 months ago, she wasn’t happy about it but didn’t turn it into an issue.  Well his contract was finally up so we went out and got our new plan and he decided he wouldn’t cancel his old plan until the end of the month so his mom would have time to get her own plan.  Well she texts while we are at the store and was like “Did you add Pickle to our plan?” We were like WHAT? So he sent back “No we are at a diferent carrier setting up a new plan for just her and me.”  She didn’t text back for a while, then sent “Well…. I thought we were all going to be on the same plan.”  We didn’t right back because she was being ridiculous.

    Well that night we were having game night with his family and I hear her telling FI’s brother that she was probably just going to use her work phone from now on so she doesn’t have to pay for her phone!!!!  I jump in “But you told me you couldn’t use it for personal use” (she said that just a few months ago)  Her reply, “O I can, I just don’t like it very much but now I would much rather get used to using it over having to pay for my own phone.”

    OMG I almost punched her.  Why couldn’t she get used to the stupid phone while FI was forking over $80 a month paying for her phone???  So it’s ok to waist his money but not yours?  I was livid, who uses their son like that?

    Oh and she could can totally afford her own phone if she didnt’ spend at least $40 a week on fast food.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3632 posts
    Sugar bee

    Let’s just say that I could write a book about my MIL and my husband’s family. FIL was a real sweetheart, but sadly passed away 6 months before our wedding.

    My MIL is narcissistic and histrionic. As she ages, she’s the epitome of the toxic elder syndrome. 7 years ago, after 30 years of marriage, I wrote her out of my life, and it was very liberating. I’ve only talked to her once since then, by accident, when she called our home and I forgot to look at the caller ID. The call was a shriek fest, with her complaining and telling me what to do.

    This past summer she sent two nasty e-mails to my daughter (bride to be) and made her cry.  MIL insited we invite estranged/distant relatives that she wanted to see, but we don’t have any contact with. She was trying to guilt her into it and said “Your dad doesn’t have many relatives and I think weddings should be a time for family … and I think weddings should draw families together.” My husband was furious with her; he had already explained to her a dozen times that the venue only fit 100 people and that her guest list wishes would not be fulfilled.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1670 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    My current dilemma with my FMIL is that my SO, who has a successful career, went to her to say that he’s planning to propose, and she got super pissy and insisted that he can’t afford a ring. Even though I think he might have already paid for one. She treats both of her grown sons like they’re 8. 

    She also told him in that meeting that he needs to “make sure” I’m what he wants because she thinks that my “beliefs” (no idea what that means to be honest) are different from HERS. I didn’t know I was marrying you!

    Post # 15
    Member
    83 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2015 - Coastal Maine inn

    Fall_In_Love22:  Hahaha, RIGHT?! She is absolutely not a meteorologist, and even if she was, I would still be really impressed at her foresight! FI and I are just telling her that we’re trying not to dwell on things we have no control over. Such a Debbie Downer! 

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