(Closed) Rant: Aunt is pulling out her daughter from being our flower girl

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Well, I don’t know how the educational system differs in the Phillippines, but I definitely know that I never had exams, let alone studied, in first grade.  I’d talk to aunt a bit more and express to her how much it would mean to you to have her daughter be your flower girl.  It seems a bit silly to not let her miss one day of school, especially that young! 

Post # 4
Member
7878 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is it possible that the school has tightened its rules? I’ve heard of a rich private school saying they had zero tolerance of student absence (except due to illness of course) because they were sick of half the junior school missing during ski season. Yes, that rule applies even for grade 1.

Or, there were problems when the older daughter took a day off last year.

Yes you have a right to be mad. Not because she said no, but because she initially said yes and changed it to a no 8 weeks before your wedding.

Post # 5
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I feel like one day of missing school can’t hurt when you’re in the first grade. Why did she agree and accept her dress if she would change her mind? I would be very upset, too.

Post # 8
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@alyssa247:  Can you ask your mom to talk to her again for you? I hate to ask you to ask for your cousins princess dress back (to prove a point to your aunt), but your aunt is being kind of rotten IMO. My only concerns would be that your cousin will be sad and that your aunt can fabricate a story and tell her little girl that you don’t want her to have the dress. I hope everything works out and that she will be a part of your wedding.

 

Post # 9
Member
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@alyssa247:  I’d say it’s time to talk, a bit sternly, to your aunt, who is being unbelievably rude by waiting this long to pull the plug when she knew your and her schedule for months already. I hope you have not been the one to pay for that princess dress! If so, I’d be informing her, if her daughter isn’t going to be your flower girl (for what sounds like a total BS reason), she needs to reimburse you.

Post # 12
Member
2950 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Just to quickly chime in, I went to a private school in the Philippines. Starting from the first grade, we had exams for each subject at the end of every quarter. If a student didn’t get an average mark of 75 or 80 (something ridiculously high), they got held back, which is a huge embarassment especially in such a academically competitive environment. And yes, we were aware, at six years old, that this was the case and so studied.

 

 

 

I hope your aunt does change her mind though. Some of my fondest memories were being a flower girl at relative’s weddings.

 

Lol.. just read another PP’s post about them being lenient to students because they were in the first grade. Yeah, at my school, they told us at that age that we were too old to play in playgrounds Undecided

 

Post # 13
Member
8021 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

The education system in the Philiipines is highly regulated and is currently undergoing reforms. Funding is aligned to those regulations so it could possible be that missing one day of school for a wedding is a big deal. It could also be that if she misses a day of school she will miss out on something else school related (schools often reward perfect attendance).  It is good to remember that just because an system works one way in one country does not mean that it works the same way elsewhere else.

 

Education is also still not acessible to everyone in the Phillipines. Over half a million children still do not attend school regularly there. So I would assume that having the means and opportunity to attend school is still considered a privillege and respected as such.

 

To the OP- if you are as close to your cousin as you say then I am sure this was a hard decision for your Aunt to make. I know you are disappointed but I think you should just accept that she knows what is best for her child.

 

Post # 16
Member
2950 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@alyssa247:  Oh I’m definitely not disagreeing with you that she is being unreasonable. You’ve told her about the wedding ahead of time. She initially committed to it. If something does come up, then she has the ample opportunity to make alternative arrangements. I guess my post was for the other PPs that may not have understood how intense the education system is in the Philippines, even at an early age.

But I really do hope your mom can talk to your aunt about reconsidering.

The topic ‘Rant: Aunt is pulling out her daughter from being our flower girl’ is closed to new replies.

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