Rant!!. . .Break up (Highly defensive bf) and No contact

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ll decode: he’s an asshole. Good riddance.

Post # 4
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

You are better off, make no contact with him and move on!

Post # 6
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@Nishtha:  he wants to keep you pining for him, it is a huge ego boost to him to string two women along. Remember he CHEATED on you, put off wedding plans, etc. This is not a good guy! Do not call him, that’s what he wants, and would only hurt you in the long run by giving you hope.

Post # 8
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@Nishtha:  what you are feeling right now is very normal, what happened is not your fault at all. It will be ok.

Post # 9
Member
795 posts
Busy bee

@Nishtha:  I had this pegged before you even mentioned another girl. YOU have been the other girl all along if you ask me. Run and do not look back. 

Post # 10
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @Nishtha:  (( HUGS )) cause I know this has got you hurt & confused.

Sad to say…

DECODE = He’s Just Not That Into

(Sorry)

Hon, you can do a MILLION times better than this man.  You DESERVE better than this man.

Go out and get yourself a copy of the following 2 Books, both by Greg Behrendt of Sex In The City Fame

It’s Called a Break Up Because It’s Broken

And

He’s Just Not That Into

Might want to BUY this last one… cause it will help you to SEE clearly WHY this guy is stringing you along.  Be sure to read & study… memorize the following Chapters:

  • He’s Just Not That Into You – IF He’s Not Calling You
  • He’s Just Not That Into You – IF He’s Not Dating You
  • He’s Just Not That Into You – IF He Is Having Sex with Someone Else
  • He’s Just Not That Into You – IF He’s Breaking Up with You
  • He’s Just Not That Into You – IF He’s Disappeared On You
  • He’s Just Not That Into You – IF He’s Married (OR Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)

As you can see… he pretty much NAILS the entire Book, Chaper & Verse !!

Plain & Simple he’s an ASS

Drop him and get on with your life NOW

Mr Right cannot find you as long as you are tied down with Mr Wrong

— — —

Read the Books… and then come back to the Bee, tell us how you are doing / coping, and we’ll support you some more (a ton more) as you make your way thru this minefield that is Post Break-Up

It will hurt now… sort of like ripping off a band-aid… but you’ll heal… and be a much better person for it.

PROMISE

((((( GREAT BIG HUGS )))))

 

Post # 13
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Nishtha:  My heart is crying for you! Try and understand that you were decieved…Ever watch those shows about people who didn’t know that their awesome husband was a serial killer? 

Some people are SUPER fake and great at acting, this guy was top class…

PLEASE stop thinking of who he was and just look at who he IS 

It is over and you need to focus on building your life 

Post # 14
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Nishtha:  So sorry to hear about your situation! Big hugs to you! I’m going to give u a quick run down of my life. Since high school I was with this person. Together for 9ish years. Great guy. Broke up bc after 9 years together, and when I asked him where does he see himself in 5 years the response was “still trying to get my bachelors and paying off my debt”. No plans to get married bc he was buried in debt and haven’t figured out what he want to do with his life. He was two years older than me. I already graduated from undergrad by then and wassale easy in my 1st year of graduate school. 

I then started dating this other person. Things started off with his hanging out and not wanting anything serious out of it bc I didn’t want to be in another long relationship. He said the same. But we hung out A LOT and he met my family, I met his. We spent holidays with each others family. Though his close friends knew about me we were never officially bf/gf. But I was so attached to him I didn’t care. I also didn’t care when I found out he was talking to other girls and going out with them while I was working graveyard shifts (I did not snoop. This girl was a friends friend). I hung onto that relatanother for another 2.5 years. During that time it was the biggest roller coaster of my life. The highest highs and the lowest lows. I wanted to be with him but I never fully trusted him. So yes, I started snooping. Emails, calls, txts. Yes I found incriminating things (ie him inviting a girl out for July 4th to his friends house and offering to provide the ride if she needs but telling me he’s working that day and don’t know what’s going on yet), but I was too weak to walk away. 

Finally that guy decided to tell me one day he’s not happy. And that was it. That was end of Nov. my day was dec 9 (yay December babies). No call, no txt. I was heartbroken bc all the other times when we “stopped” talking he always called and we went on like nothing happens. So I thought ok he will call during Xmas. Nope no call. New years eve? Nope, nothing. Valentines for sure! Nope, nothing. It was heartbreaking and it was not easy. I was always searching for the answers to my questions. “y wasn’t he happy?” “does he really not care?” “did those 2.5/3 years not mean anything”. 

First off, he did care about me bc he did try to tell me time and time again he’s not the guy for me. So when a guy tells you something along that line. Don’t take it lightly. We were together for 2 plus years, yes of course he cared about me. It made me feel better to know he cares but hurts so muc

Post # 15
Member
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Nishtha:  *much more bc I couldn’t understand why it didnt work out. But guess what? With time, none of that matters. I later on met the man of my dreams. The sweetest, most loving person possible who treats me so well and actually wants a relationship, house, marriage and kids with me without me always having to ask about it at all. I am so glad the guy before that walked out of my life and cut all ties with me. Bc I know back then I would not have walked away, even tho I was a nervous wreck with him. I wanted trare ally make that relationship work even tho I knew it wasn’t a healthy one. 

So…don’t search for answers. Cry, yes. Let it out. Surround yourself with great people and enjoy your time being a single person finally after 5 years. I know it will be hard and the nights are the longest. But time will heal. Slowly but surely and one day you will find the right person who will not wait years before introducing you to his family. You deserve better and you will get what you truly deserve once u realize this guy is a total douche and you don’t deserve one ounce of this. HANG IN THERE! Good luck sweetie 🙂

Post # 16
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Oh dear. Walk away now and hold your head high and do not look back for one second. Don’t engage in conversation with him whether it be face to face, FB, texting etc. Just leave him to sort out his own miserable life. 

You don’t need to be with anyone that treats you like s@it. Nuture yorself and be kind to yourself and surround yourself with good friends. Drink wine, exercise, do yoga or whatever it takes to get your mojo back (believe me he will have taken some of your mojo). 

Be happily single, the right man will come your way.  Read ‘He’s just not that into you’ (I think someone else mentioned this?) and remember the rules of the book. 

Above all, the right guy will put you on a pedestal (rightly so) just as you will treat him as your prince (as he will deserve), and you will be proud to be with one another and not have any secrets from each other, or treat you as a secret.

Good luck my dear… 

 

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