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Last night, I got together with a few friends from college. Little did I know that the purpose of this get together was for my former college roommate to announce her engagement to her close friends before posting her updated status on Facebook!!!
I was ecstatic when my friend announced her engagement and of course am completely enthralled with all things wedding/engagement related (or else I probably wouldn't be on the bee, right?! Lol. :))! Most of us were like little giddy girls, excited to hear the news. We inquired about the details of the proposal and oooohh-ed and aahhhhh-ed over her gorgeously sparkly new e-ring!
One girl, who arrived a bit late, looked at her ring and said, "It's too big on your hand. Didn't he get it sized?". . ."Is it dirty or is that an inclusion? I think your ring has a flaw!. . .Oh. . .wait. . .no. . .it's just dirty. . . .You really should have it cleaned."
My friend politely explained that her FI didn't know her exact ring sized, and the jeweler suggested that they wait to size it.
I WAS FLABERGASTED that someone could be so critical of a FRIEND'S ring!!!
First, the ring is new (has only been worn for about 4-5 days!). It is NOT dirty!!! I realize that some rings can appear dirty rather quickly, but this was not the case. Her ring is also eye-clean. There are no visible inclusions anywhere, and even if there was a big black inclusion the size of Texas up front and center, why would someone make that comment?!?!?! The look on my friend's face said it all. She appeared both shocked and embarassed. My heart sank.
I swear. . .some people are just plain RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jealousy can be a very ugly thing... and hopefully this girl will NOT be receiving an invite to be a bridesmaid.
This girl sounds like she has a really mean case of jealousy.
Some people are just way too caught up in their own world to ever be happy for anyone else or be able to see someone else happy without bringing them down.
Hopefully your friend was able to realize that the comment was out of jealousy and had no reflection on her or her FI but was just a reflection of this girls true character.
I agree with the ladies who already commented. It really sounds like this girl was just really jealous and neated to suck the happiness out of your friend. It's really sad that she felt the need to do that to a friend just to make herself feel better. You tell your friend not to let it get to her and that her ring is beautiful and your friend is ugly (on the inside).
I definitely agree that this girl is a bit jealous! Only a jealous and materialistic person could make such comments.
It just makes me upset that someone could be so rude to my friend.
OMG! That's absolutely crushing. Poor girl. Did anyone call her out for her comment? Was it awkward afterwards?
I almost had a slip up like that once. My roommate was the 1st girl I knew that got engaged and while I had congratulated ppl online and over the phone I had never done it in person. She showed me the ring and for whatever reason my brain froze, I couldn't think, I couldn't speak, I knew I had to say something and all I could squeak out was "He did a good job." I felt like a huge ass. And I was genuinely happy for her. No jealousy, nothing. Genuine joy for her. But I couldn't express a thing, and then when I did I screwed it up. Sigh... :)
@claireos: I think "He did a good job" is actually kinda sweet -- and shows a recognition that this was a big step for her groom too! In short...don't beat yourself up. :-)
I was always taught jealousy is a form of flattery, I hope she was able to just brush it off?
That is just wrong :( I feel so bad for your friend and hope she didn't let it get to her. Some people have no tact.
I mean... Im just going to say it... BITCH!! I feel bad for the guy who will eventually marry that girl!
My god... just awful! Some people just are so rude! Seriously, I cannot imagine saying that to ANYONE!
she should have told that friend that green isnt really a good colour on her..
@CanadianMermaid: HA! I liked that response.
The "friend" definitely sounds jealous, but geez. Even if I were jealous of someone, I still can't imagine saying something so rude!
I get, like, tears-in-my-eyes, over-the-top jealous sometimes when I hear friends are pregnant or get to see their new baby, but I still manage to cheerfully go on and on about how cute they are and ask all the right questions!! Sometimes you just gotta put on a giant smile and count your OWN blessings.
Wow that insanely rude. I guess that is when you see who your true friends are, and it sounds like you are really there for her in this time of celebration. I hope something like this never happens to me! I would not handle a conversation like that very tactfully!!
@claireos: I think "He did a good job" is a great response! It gives the newly engaged girl another reason to beam and give her new FI even more props! And I know what you mean about being genuinely happy for a friend. I was totally shocked and excited when she flashed me her hand and said, "I'm engaged!" All I could do was jump up and down and give her a big hug! I'm a dork. What can I say?
@MeganTacky2247: That was exactly what went through my mind. . .
Wow, that's really rude. I'm with everyone else, your friend's friend seems a bit jealous. Even if her ring was bought out of a gum ball machine, I'd act like it was the biggest, most gorgeous thing I'd ever seen. Is this friend of your friend's waiting for a proposal of her own?
Not cool AT ALL!! I am going to agree with everyone else....she's HELLA jealous!!
Oh my gosh. Who needs enemies with friends like that?? How rude of her to say those things! And I agree with PPs, jealousy alllll the wayyyyy! And even if a stone has an inclusion, I don't consider it a "flaw," I think it makes the stone unique! Ughhh, some people have zero class.
Wow!!! That is just mean and petty! I agree, she is definitely very jealous and wanted to make herself feel better by making mean comments about the ring.
Yikes!!! I feel bad for people who have to make comments like that. Who cares if there were any inclusions? Just not a nice thing to say.
Eeek! It takes all people, eh?! I think your friend was jealous and wanted to hate on someone else.
Whoa, I think she was trying to rain on her parade there - it's not pretty. I hope your friend was ok about it, and not inviting her now. She would only criticize everything anyway? Not much of a friend if you as me, even if she was 100% right about the ring, it's still 100% rude.
I'm with everyone else on this..nothing but JEALOUSY!!! Thats all that's about....
@CarolinaCola: You're definitely right. If a stone has an inclusion, you can always ID it pretty easily!
Absolute jealousy. Even if the ring was yellow (and not in the pretty way) and filled with black spots, you ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS gush about it. It's the rule. Or, you do what my absolutely horrible 'frenemy' did, which was to turn her head or walk away every single time someone asked to see my ring, LOL. (I swear to God, she kept this up for years and would try to sneak looks at it when she didn't think I was paying attention. I kept spinning it on purpose so she couldn't hehehe. When she got her ring, she immediately grabbed my hand to make sure hers was bigger. It definitely wasn't.) If (and ONLY if) someone ever asks 'Do you see that black spot in my diamond?' do you admit to seeing it, and only after you 'study' it long enough to make it not look obvious. It sounds to me like this friend is jealous because she doesn't have her own ring, or perhaps she does but she's insecure about it because it's smaller or of a lesser quality, which is sad.
@ChicChick: Do you think she's just clueless? I sometimes have verbal diarrhea which combined with my know-it-all attitude and occasional social cluelessness can be annoying and inappropriate like this girl's reaction was. (It's rare that this happens, but when it does I'm mortified afterward.)
It's obviously rude - but she could have been completely clueless that her behavior was not socially inept. It doesn't excuse the behavior, but it's a much nicer situation if your friend has a clueless friend than if your friend has a frienemy that she keeps way too close.
That is SO horrible. What is wrong with people?? I prob would have snarked the shit out of the commenter if I saw that comment lol.
Yeah, her comments weren't cool and probably because of jealousy. If I'd just gotten engaged and got those comments, I probably would have said something along the lines of, "Oh yes, it's hideous, but I'll suffer through" and then make a mental note to not give that girl anything to do with the wedding :)
jealousy is a horrible sickness...get well soon bitch!! wuld be the only thing that would seem fitting to reply with lol but definately a bad case of green with envy!!
A friend and I got engaged right around the same time. We got together one night to squeal about our proposals and she wanted to see my ring (she had posted pics on facebook) when I said that it was getting sized she said, "he didn't even bother to get it sized first?!" Yeah... some people just lack tact sometimes!
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