- 7 years ago
Hi ladies. Ack. Trying to breathe right. It is summer (the weather here in Oregon finally depicts summer instead of ten kinds of rain)! I am depressed. Last night I told him one of the reasons is that I’d really hoped we would marry this summer. I also told him I feel funny about visiting his relative (bro, sis and parents) over 4th of July because I think they’ll be wondering what our status is….October will be 2 years for our relationship. Ugh. I am 49 and he is 48.
I’m depressed because my work just came to an abrupt halt (all but 1/5 of it ends on the 30th of June). I’m depressed because I had a great interview for a job 2 weeks ago and haven’t heard. They interviewed a lot of people and I really want the job. I’m depressed because my 21 year old daughter, who I’m very close to, moved suddenly to Toronto in October and I have no money to go visit her.
I’m depressed because he’s still not ready to commit. I was practically born ready. He seemed sympathetic last night about how I was feeling (sad about not getting married and about not being able to tell his folks what our “new” status is). Now I am thinking seriously of not going with him for the 4th to the folks.
Today what he has done to drive me crazy is stop me in mid-story and say, “Okay, that’s enough…” because HE is ready to change the subject. I feel like he is scolding a child (me). Not the only time he’s done this.
Mr. Mermaid is kind, gentle, loving, nice looking, intelligent and good, but right now I just want to shake him and tell him to wake up and smell the frickin’ coffee! I am going to apply for more jobs over the next week and see about getting a phone call with my kiddo too. The phonecalls always make me feel better. Also gonna get out into the precious sunshine today.
Thanks, I feel a little better.