(Closed) Rant. I'm so petty.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8044 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’d make a point and NOT go back there for Thanksgiving. Why subject yourself to the misery that will ensue?

Post # 5
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

if they ask at Thanksgiving “So how was the wedding” you should reply something a lil snarky “you’d know if you went instead of the beach”  they need to know you are hurt by this. that’s so messed up

Post # 6
Member
6750 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MississippiQueen:  I’m so sorry to hear about all this.  That’s really sad that your family didn’t come out to support you.  In all honesty, I think you need to step up and say something.  I understand they’re your grandparents, but if they’re going to be so negative and critical, you need to put a stop to it. 

When they start asking about the wedding, you should say, “You would have seen it had you been there.  I’ll send you an album in the mail so you can see it all for yourselves, whenever you want.  Right now, I just want to enjoy my Thanksgiving meal.”  That should cut them off.  And then you can always order those little booklets of pictures and make them an album and send it to them, this way they can criticize as much as they’d like, at home. 

When they start talking about the move, you should say, “You’re right, we should stay in KY and be unemployed, living in the street, because that would be better for my daughter than taking a job that pays well and gives us benefits but has up move a few hours away.  You can always visit us on one of your many vacations or else we’ll just see you everytime we come to town, like it has been.”

Honestly, I think a little bit of sarcasm/snark is in order. 

Post # 8
Member
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@imnotarunner7:  +1

 

Don’t give them any details about the wedding just reply to all wedding questions with “You would know if you had cared to attend.”

Post # 9
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee

Is it possible to just stop by for dessert? I’m sorry that they are like this… What’s the point of missing out on family celebrations just to crab about it later?

Post # 11
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I probably wouldn’t go for Thanksgiving.  Serves them right that you’d be in town and conveniently can’t make it. 

If you do decide to go and are asked about it.  I’d say “Oh it was lovely.  I’m sorry your beach trip kept you from attending.”

 

Post # 12
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Dont ruin your holiday. Spend it with family and friends that LOVE you- if none of them are in KY, stay in your new hometown and enjoy the beach!!!! Screw your family. They have done nothing to support you, your daughter, your family, so why should they be able to enjoy her when you visit? I say at most, stop by for dessert. Say whatever snarky comment you feel like, you need to get it off your chest or it’ll just eat away at you. Maybe they don’t realize how upset you were?

Post # 13
Member
586 posts
Busy bee

Awww, so sorry about this *hugs* I can relate. Barring a miracle from God himself, my mother and brother and sister will not be at my wedding….their loss.

I love both your ideas of either raving on and on about how amazeballs it is, or being like, “wouldn’t you like to know, bitchessss!” LOL. mrskopp2be gave awesome advice as well.

Additionally, congratulations to you for sticking to your guns and having the life that is right for you and your family, regardless of what other people think. High five! If only more people were true to themselves like that.

Post # 15
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I actually advise against the snark, it just gives your family more ammunition against you.

If asked about the wedding, just say that it was lovely and you couldn’t have imagined a better day. If they try and start picking at you while looking at pictures, then you say to them “I’m sorry, I don’t have to listen to this” and get up and walk away. 

Being snarky back to them only eggs them on, you have to stop the bullshit in its tracks with some people.

Post # 16
Member
6750 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Neetch:  That is really a mature way of dealing with it.

If you can do that, more power to you OP! 

But sometimes I think being nice is what eggs people on – they see someone vulnerable that they can take advantage of and attack and they do.  Sometimes you need to have a bit of spark in you to get them to stop. 

That decision is yours – only you know what way would probably be best to get them to stop!

But I agree w/ PP, I didn’t realize not going back for TG was an option.  If you don’t have to go, don’t.  They sure didn’t go to your WEDDING! 

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