Post # 1
It’s a bit frustrating but… Ugh… My inlaws are reacting to the pregnancy unfavorably. My MIL, FIL heck even DHs grandmother!
they are worried about my husband and I having a child, not at the wrong time or anything but at any time in our lives. My family sucks, I was raised around drugs and alcohol my whole life and my family hasn’t changed. But I did, I decided not to let their life effect me and I broke out of all of it, I don’t drink or do drugs, I work and go to school, I don’t get into shennanigans I go to church. We have a stable healthy home with one five year old already and heck, in an attempt to help DH build a relationship with his parents we moved across the street from them.
but when we told them the news the best response we got was “oh, congratulations *i guess*”
it’s frustrating, I work hard to be completely different than my family yet I’m judged by their actions, not my own. They haven’t tried to act supportive and have told me this is the reason why. WTH am I supposed to do? Excuse me for being born into crap and working my butt off to get away from the crap.
it sucks because these are good people but I will never measure up to their standards simply because I was born into the wrong family
Post # 3
@Mrslovebug: Have a massive hug, that’s all I have to offer I’m afraid, but it’s sent with love xx
Post # 4
I’m sorry about their reaction.
Are you sure that is why they gave you the “I guess” though? Maybe it’s because you’re still in school? Are you all OK financially?
I have a dear family member who only yesterday mentioned how sad she is because they can’t keep up financially and in the same night mentioned how she could be pregnant for my spring wedding.
I can’t tell you how sad her comment made me.
Post # 5
@Mrslovebug: Inlaws suck sometimes. I come from the same background, I’m proud to not have followed in my families footsteps, I was the first to finish a post secondary education. My inlaws disapprove of my family (they are upper middle class and view anyone using social assistance with disdain). I’m not certain how they really feel about our pregnancy because I haven’t seen them since we announced.
Post # 6
@Mrslovebug: I’m sorry. It does suck having people like that in your life. Everyone is happy for us except my FIL. It’s too long of a story to get into what a stupid jerk he is, but when we showed him the tests he was like, “I don’t know how to read those.” So MIL said, ‘it means they are pregnant.” He just said, “Oh.”
The only other thing he has said baby-wise is when he texted DH and said, “Is that baby here yet? I need to teach it all the stuff you were incapable of learning.” He hates the fact that DH took a “gay” job, as he so eloquently put it, as a music teacher and not a pipe fitter or welder or something. Yeah, he’s a super winner of a dad *eye roll*
Maybe he will come around after the baby is born, but I’m not holding my breath, and I really don’t care. That baby is going to have my dad as one hell of a grandpa and some great grandparents that are, well, great too.
Post # 7
@Mrslovebug: Congrats on your pregnancy!!! What an exciting time in life. DH & I are currently PG with our first baby and its such an amazing thing to be going through. I’m so sorry you didn’t get the reaction you were hoping for from your IL. I actually had a hard time sharing with some people because I didn’t want to deal with an unfavorable response, but so far I’ve been pleasantly surprised by everyones reactions. I can totally empathize with you feeling like your IL judge you because of where you came from. Although my situation isn’t the same, I’ve certainly felt judged by them also because of my “home life” while growing up. They’ve made comments in the past like, “she obviously doesn’t know the meaning of family since she comes from a broken home” – ouch!
Best of luck do you and your DH through your pregnancy! You two deserve all of the love and support you can get.
Post # 8
Thank you ladies.
i wouldn’t have even considered my parents being the reason they didn’t want us to have kids until MIL told me.
i have finally come to the point where I’m ready to cut out all the unhealthy relationships with my family, including with my mom. My MIL accepted my moms fb request a few years back and moms got this issue with announcing everything on Facebook and airing all the dirty laundry.
so I took my MIL out to lunch to try and ask if she would delete my mom and to explain why I wasn’t speaking to my mom. I didn’t go into details but told her its not the life for me so I’m pulling away from those that use drugs. She already knew mug family situation.
so we went to lunch the day after I got my BFP and we hadnt told anyone. But at lunch she says her and my husbands grandma were talking and they were worried about me and my husband having another baby because of my family! After thaT I didn’t want to tell theM so my DH did, his mom and dads response was “wow was it planned? Two babies are harder than one”. Then I got the cold shoulder for a couple days before DH had a talk with them about it, now the topic is pretty much sizzled out in all aspects, no baby talk. His grandma was the one who said “congratulations I guess”
Post # 10
@Mrslovebug: this is suppose to be a joyful time in your life. Don’t let them get to you! You have overcome so much and deserve respect. There will always be mean ppl and sadly you can’t escape these but keep your head up!!!