Rant on the whole concept of WAITING!

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

When you are ready to take the next step in a relationship, regardless of what that next step is (moving in together, getting married, having a baby, whatever), it can be stressful for those involved. Especially when it comes to something like a proposal where a lot of the “power” is in the hands of the person who is expected to propose.

 

The waiting boards are a place for bees to vent and comfort each other through that period. If you don’t like it or don’t understand it, don’t visit the waiting boards.

 

It would be like someone who is NTNP visiting the TTC board and “ranting” about what all of the women are posting about there.

 

I am happy you are happy. Plenty of people aren’t. Leave them be.

 

Post # 4
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Double post. 


 


 

Post # 5
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

honestly I have no words….oh wait, yes I do. Of course there are going to be some women (and men!) that take “waiting” too far. As in snooping, etc. but that doesn’t mean you need to have such a “holier than thou” attitude about it. I can understand why some women give ultimatums. Your relationship with your SO might not be their relationship or dynamic. Very judgemental post. 



Post # 6
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

wow… why are you even on this site?

Post # 10
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t understand the concept of “waiting” either. Me and my fiance were together for 3 years before he proposed.

We just always knew it would hapen. I never had to question him or anything. I feel like if you’re both on the same page and trust each other …. there’s no need for this agonizing “wait” and “unknown limbo.”

IDK.

Post # 12
Member
3128 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@honestly:  No I don’t. Just because you are happy to be where you are at doesn’t mean everyone needs to feel the way you feel. Clearly there are a lot of people who feel differently. Because their feelings are different than yours doesn’t make them invalid.

It is easy to sit there and say “just appreciate what you have” but when you are ready to move forward with your life and have found someone you want to take the next step with, it can be difficult to wait for that next step to occur. 

If you don’t understand that or can’t be compassionate, then it would be more helpful to waiting bees for you to keep your opinions to yourself vs. “venting” and making them feel bad for their feelings. 

Post # 14
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I kinda get where you are coming from, but it’s a bit strong. Like someone said above, it’s really hard when a person feels the love YOU feel for your SO and you are ready to take the next step in commitment and their SO is not. Being in different places in a relationship is scary. I think most reasonable women swear they won’t snoop or give ultimatums, and then get overwhelmed by stress and do things they regret. 

In general, I agree with much of what you are saying. I do think the concept of waiting needs to be rethought, since so many women see marriage and everything attached to it as the ultimate goal. I also think it can get a bit ridiculous on the waiting board (which is why I don’t visit it). But I think your rant doesn’t quite take into account the various situation women are in, and real, compassionate, thoughtful women with self-respect who don’t really know what to do in their relationship. 

Just my two cents. 

Post # 15
Member
4072 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Some of the stuff that happens on the waiting boards is a bit dramatic, hence the reason I rarely read those threads; yet, there is no need for this “holier than thou” attitude, as another PP has said.

When one partner is ready to move onto marriage and the other isn’t quite there, then legitimate stress emerges. When someone is so excited about becoming engaged, they are allowed to be! And they are allowed to share it.

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