- 4 years ago
Ok. Let me give you some background.
I am not engaged. I am in a loving, commited and respectful long-term relationship (5 years) with someone whom I believe is my soulmate, and am confident in saying that these feelings are mutual.
We would love to marry someday; we’ve talked about it and are emotionally, financially and everything-else-ally ready. Our families met early in our relationship and get along well with each other, and they interact with each other regularly (whether it’s the dads and brothers having a game of football together, or the mums having lunch every once in a while). His family loves me, and mine loves him.
We have discussed our finances and are on the same page when it comes to finding a bigger place of our own (we already live together) and raising a family together. We are 22 and 23. Seems like a pretty good time to get the ol’ engagement ball a’rolling, right?
I refuse to add myself to the list of “waiting” Bees. I am not expecting my other half to propose at any time, nor will I ever threaten him with the ending of our relationship if we are not engaged by X date.
I have not looked up engagement rings and subtly tried to inform him of “what I want”, or “what price range” I want him to spend within. I have not had happy daydreams of “the perfect proposal” or any idea of when, or where “I want” a proposal to happen.
I am perfectly content in the fact that we are happy and knowing and discussing that we will marry someday. No hurry there at all when we both already know that we want to, and will, spend the rest of our lives together.
I propose that the topic “Waiting” be changed to “Hoping”, as I feel that “Waiting”, to me, implies that a person is expecting a proposal. And I’m talking ‘expecting’ as in treating a big sparkly ring as some coveted thing that seems to be more important than just realising that you will be spending the rest of your life with the one you love most. This needs to stop. Familiar with the commercialisation of Christmas? Yeah. It’s happening here.
I’d love to continue my rant about all the people who have: deliberately gone snooping for evidence of ring purchases; spoiled their engagement surprises and have no remorse whatsoever for spoiling the efforts of their loved one to create such a surprise; want a bigger ring/think the one they have been lovingly given is not “good enough”; given their significant others ultimatums along the lines of “if you don’t propose before X, then it’s over”; spelled out the specific details of exactly how they want their proposal to go; think their proposal wasn’t elaborate enough; have “WAITING NAILS”!!!! Aaarrgghhhh. The list goes on and on….
I will be so amazingly happy when the moment does arrive. And because I haven’t been doing any of the things listed above I am certain it will be one of the most imperfectly beautiful and intimate moments in my life. So my ring might be “small” by your standards. So he proposed to me at home in front of the tv after we’d just pigged out on a massive meat pizza. I won’t care. And neither should you. Because the love is all that matters.
I tried a search on “Waiting List Rant” and the like, and have come up with nothing… regardless, there must be others who have similar views…
But seriously. Can’t a person be happy and just grateful that they are lucky enough to have someone who loves them enough to even want to spend the rest of their lives with them? Quit worrying and complaining. Just live and love your life. And when the moment comes… there it’ll be.