Post # 1
Yes this is a bit of a rant…Yes, I am PMSing hardcore today.
Well now that I’ve gotten that off my chest I wanted to get a weigh in from the other bees on what they think of this:
Background: I checked my husband’s cell for a text from his friend regarding an invite to his kid’s bday party. I wanted to confirm the spelling of his daughter’s name for the card. Upon which I noticed a NEW text from his ex Britney.
He’s a police officer so she was making small talk about how she always thinks of him when there’s a law enforcement show on and that she wanted to thank him and that she’ll always love him….(GAG).
Now, I read it and didn’t really react. It doens’t upset me becuase I had previously read through all of his other texts with her and they are sporadic and few and far between and he keeps it very cordial, polite, and appropriate. She however is flirting and pretty much still has feelings for him, whether it’s really still love or some kind of infatutation of the person she thinks he is. I am not worried at all, but it still annoys me. And here’s why, I used to be this girl with MY EX. Did I really want to be with him again? Probably not, but did I still love him, sure in that what could’ve been if things hadn’t horribly derailed for us.
So, I casually and calmly tell him it’s inappropriate and to ler her know that’s he’s married and to quit it.
I will not be doing the following BUT this is what I’d like to text to her myself:
“Listen BRITNEY, you are no longer with him. He is a happily married man and the only reason why he still talks to you is because he pities you. Quit with your stupid flirting becuase he ain’t coming back hoe!”
End rant. Peace and love. First time poster, LOOONG time lurker, obsessive wedding planning frenzy mode and it’s getting me excited about a wedding I never even wanted to have….WHA?
Post # 3
Ew I’d be beyond pissed. If I saw that I’d text her back on his phone telling her off. How disrespectful.
Post # 4
I think the way to deal with this is for neither of you to reply. Really, he doesn’t need to keep up her little game and fantasy. I wouldn’t be mad at him, it sounds like he’s just trying to be nice here – especially if you’ve seen all the texts and his parts are totally harmless.
She just needs to be ignored. Then maybe she’ll stop the bullshit.
Post # 5
Hi @earthbiscuit: first and foremost as this is your Debut Post on WBee… a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”
Ok, right off the bat I am gonna give you some benefit of the doubt on this cause as you said it is a Rant and you are PMSing
BUT honestly… here is the truth
He has a past
You knew that when you guys got together.
It wasn’t clear from your post if he and her had a child or not (the whole BDay Party thing threw me off)
BUT if they do… well they’ll have a lifetime of seeing / interacting with each other cause of the kid.
It sucks… but it is what it is.
Truthfully, altho this problem with her bothers you… it really isn’t your issue at all… (sucks)
Your man needs to be the one who sets the rules down to his Ex and specifically WHAT THEY ARE
So honestly, there isn’t much you can do about this whole thing… other than choose to let it drive you crazy
(( HUGS ))
Post # 6
@This Time Round:
I agree with your comments entirely.
I suppose I see myself in her texts. By that I mean, I was this girl exactly with my ex and until I found my husband, I didn’t realize how childish it came across. It’s a passive agressive way of keeping in touch, saying sweet nothings that mean NOTHING.
I know he has a past as do I, and you’re also right that it’s his relationship with her. (no kid involved btw – I was just chekcing his phone for another text to confirm some info).
Rather than continue to think about it and potentially get upset over it, I thought I’d use this place to just get some real thoughts from real woman that it’s nothing to get upset over.
Post # 7
@earthbiscuit: Me… i would text her and tell her to quit her shit! you have every right to your his wife. what a sad girl she has no shame or self respect.
Post # 8
A year and a half before I met him, my husband had a one-night stand with a girl he had been acquaintances with in high school because he had gone back to his hometown while on leave. Even though he treated her like crap, she continued to stalk him on-and-ff for the year and a half between that happened and he met me.
He left before she woke up and when she texted him to ask why he did and to say she wanted to keep talking to him, he basically admitted to her that he just used her, that the sex sucked anyway, that she’s boring, and that she’s not even attractive. Ouch. Well, obviously they had wanted different things out of this. (And honestly, if a fling had treated you that way, would you really want to keep talking to the asshole?)
But for some reason, she thought she could keep trying to pursue a relationship with him or somehow make him romantically interested in her, or something, I don’t know. He had blocked her from contacting him through every channel but she started texting him from a new number–a few months after my husband and I had met and become serious.
He flipped out. He saw it as her attempt to sabotage his blossoming new romance. I told him that she probably didn’t know he was seeing someone seriously since he blocked every other means for her to contact him, and she should just ignore it and block this number too. But he really wanted to get back at her and make her feel like shit all over again, and I thought it sounded fun to troll some whack-a-doodle chick who’s pandering after my man.
What we ended up doing was actually pretty childish and, in retrospect, not one of my best moments at all.
And trolled she was. So trolled that she had a major emotional meltdown for about a month after that, and her family blamed us for it.
Point is, your husband’s ex may have larger issues so tread carefully. Don’t just troll her for the sake of trolling her.
Post # 9
@CorvusCorax: Ugh, what is with these women? There’s a chick FI hung out with (I use that term loosely) for a couple of weeks a few months before we got together – he basically let her know he was trying to forget some other girl he’d really liked (lol) so when he and I got together and I moved here to be with him, she basically was obnoxious to me and him every time we’ve run into her, although after FI ignored her antics the last couple times she seems to have piped down.
OP, I wouldn’t be worried per se but I sure as hell would be annoyed! That chick needs to find some other person to annoy!
Post # 10
That is not cool at all! I’m glad you are not going to send that text though! If I were to send something (which isnt really my style) I would take the higher road. If you were to say something like to her I think it would fuel her like “oh here is the b*tch wife trying to control his life ha-ha whatever she must be insecure” (which you are totally not by the way!) I would be like hi brittany. My husband and I thank you for your sweet comment. I am so glad to have found someone that upholds morals in our society!” Just to let that girl know where she stands but in a kill her with kindness kind of way. It is really good to know that your husband keeps things cordial with her and not flirtacious