Rant – why the hell do people comment on my size

posted 3 years ago in Wellness
Post # 2
271 posts
Helper bee

I can’t relate to this rant because I never had this issue. All I can say, is that if I were in your position, I would probably say ” It’s rude to critcize some else’s weight” and walk away. That would get the message across real clear. 


As long as your doctor isn’t concerned, they can leave you alone. 

Post # 3
61 posts
Worker bee

Maleny_Bride:  I agree with you.  People need to recognize that talking about someone else’s body is never appropriate.  Even if you think you’re complimenting someone by talking about how skinny they are, it’s very inappropriate.  Sorry this is happening to you.

Post # 4
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I would never comment about a coworkers weight. It is rude and inappropriate. 

Im a curvy size 2, and I’m short and I sometimes still get weird comments like this. I’ll go to the gym and people will be like “you are already tiny why are you exercising” Um, for health and because my size isn’t magic and I wanna keep it how it is!

that said, if you were a close friend or family member I cared about and I noticed you drop weight quickly, I would ask you if you were doing ok. I don’t want you to miss a medical issue or not have someone to talk out your stress too (I’m in med school so I notice health issues)

Post # 5
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think it’s rude for your coworkers to comment, but I think it’s coming from a place of concern.  I have a friend who is naturally extremely thin.  When we would eat together, I would finish my entire plate and she would finish 1/3 or 1/2.  I would say things like, “Aren’t you going to eat more?” or “How are you not still hungry?” mostly because I was worried that she really wasn’t eating enough.  I have an unusually large appetite for someone my size, so I guess I was unfairly comparing her eating habits to mine.  I truly was trying to make sure she was eating enough because I cared.It took me several months to stop the comments and realize that they probably made her feel awkward/annoyed.<br />

If you feel close enough to these people, you could say something like, “Thanks for being concerned, but I’m healthy and happy with my body. It really makes me feel awkward when you comment on how I naturally am.”

Post # 6
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I am not saying that their behaviour is 100% ok, it’s not and if you did it back to them they would be irate. But, just like TGold:  said, this is coming from a place of concern and caring. There has been a massive push in the last 10 years for people to be aware or eating disorders and to speak up if ey see someone who might be in trouble. If you tend to not eat a lot at work (the only time they see you) and with the wedding coming up (stress etc) they are going to jump to the conclusion that you aren’t eating properly. They only want to help. 

In order to get them off your back, I would start by throwing in some comments here and there about what you ate last night “I was just thinking about the steak we had last night it was sooooo good!” or the chocolate cake your mum made that you are looking forward to eating at home etc etc. It is likely that a straight on “I am ok, I eat enough” statement will just look defensive and be exactly what someone with an actual eating disorder would say. 

Hopefully they will get the message and start to back off. 

Post # 7
5162 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Maleny_Bride:  Obviously it’s rude for people to comment on your weight.  

But honestly, if your biggest problem is that you are so skinny even though you eat tons and can eat whatever you want…maybe you need a thicker skin.  It’s no secret that we live in a society that puts thin people on a pedistal.  Most of us have to work our asses off the stay/become thin without getting to each whatever food we’d like or as much as we’d like.

Sorry, but I’m a little low on sympathy.  I think you should focus on being grateful for your wonderful genes.

Post # 9
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

Maleny_Bride:  Urgh I hear you. I used to get this all. the. time. when I was a lot smaller, and nowadays I STILL get it.

It’s not even like I’m super-thin: I’m 5’7″ and a dress size 4-6, and fairly curvy (35-26-35). But if I ever decline something like chocolate/cake (I just don’t like them much, never have, and rarely eat them; I’m much more a savoury person, give me a cheese sandwich over a slice of cake any day!) I get all the ‘What are you dieting for? You’re thin enough as it is!’ etc etc.

I’ve learnt to just ignore it, and rightly or wrongly I usually put it down to jealousy as the people saying it are almost without exception on diets and trying to lose weight.

Post # 10
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I find people confuse “eating healthy” with trying to lose weight. One of my friends is having this problem. She was overweight, but she changed her eating habits and started to work out and now she’s at her goal weight and looks fabulous.

People take issue with the fact that she still eats healthy, as they view it as her trying to lose more weight! Never mind that she wants to stay healthy and have a long and active life. No, she should go back to eating crap so she can put the weight back on and make these uneducated people feel better about themselves (who are mostly overweight themselves).

Post # 11
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would probably ask them if they need some advice on how to lose weight because you can see they need help in that area but I’m not the most polite person on the planet… 😉

Post # 12
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I hate that people are suggesting you need a “thicker skin” or that people are coming from concern when they say these things.

People seem to think it’s 100% ok to comment on a skinny person’s body. You would never talk to an overweight co-worker about how concerned you are that they’re an unhealthy weight, or that they eat too much in one sitting….but somehow it is ok to do this to people who are skinny.

Since it is so constant, I would flat out tell them how offensive and upsetting it is. It’s not ok to make comments like that to ANYONE.<br /> If they still don’t relent, start right back at them with how they eat too much, or that you’re concerned about how much weight THEY have put on.

Post # 13
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Its all just jealousy most likely. I WISH my metabolism rocked like yours. People just say negative things because they can and it makes them feel less bad about themselves if they try to make you feel like you are in the worng looking so good. I know that I have, in the past, made bitter comments to people out of my own insecurity. It is petty and wrong and I have learnt to correct that in myself by, whenever I feel spiteful and jealous of another woman’s hair, or figure or beauty, I go up to her and very sincerely (doesn’t work if you don’t mean it) say, ‘I love your hair’ ‘I’d kill for your legs’ ‘You look so pretty today’ whatver. I have made a lot of female friends that way! And it makes me feel MUUUUCH better. I feel like, hey, I’ve brightened someone’s day so I can feel good about myself instead of guilty or jealous.

Post # 14
5935 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013


cbgg:  It’s rude for you to tell someone they “need thicker skin” because she’s upset people think she’s too skinny. Would you tell a fat person they need thicker skin because someone said they are too fat? Pretty sure you’d flip shit. People like you are the reason why society thinks it’s ok to tell a skinny girl to “eat a cheeseburger” but go bat shit if someone tells a fat girl to “eat a salad”.

Sorry, I’m a little low on patience. I think you should focus on getting over yourself.

Post # 15
143 posts
Blushing bee

Maleny_Bride:  I understand your situation.   I exercise and eat healthy and am a healthy weight, I’m just on the small side.  When I start training for races I always have a month or so where I have to play around with my intake to balance out the weight loss.  Like you, I eat small healthy things frequently through the day at work and tend to pass on processed things because of the severe bloating and discomfort I get.  When people see me eating my lunch or passing on the office bought pizza, cake, etc.  they feel the need to say I don’t eat enough and harass me about my choices.  Several coworkers think its hilarious to ask me to lunch by saying, “Hey Orchid, do you want to go to lunch with us? We’re going to make you eat gravy and butter!”  It’s not even a sincere invite and it’s pretty much a guarantee that if I did go, I would be ridiculed the whole time.  FI and my eating habits are also making menu considerations for a wedding tough because our families would expect foods we don’t eat and most wouldn’t try new things.

I think with coworkers, especially if they aren’t people you are close to, it isn’t always out of concern, they are being defensive!  Seeing you with veggies or fruits at lunch time makes them feel guilty about the 2 slices of pizza and piece of cake they are scarfing from the break room.  I intentionally prep my lunch at non peak meal times bc I don’t want to deal with people’s insecurities.  I could care less what they eat and would be the last person to walk in and be like “Hey how about a salad, lardass!”…though sometimes I’m tempted to retort with that when they start up on me.

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