RCIA: To be confirmed before wedding or not…

posted 3 years ago in Catholic
Post # 2
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

senoritafancypants:  My RCIA experience was great but is was different than the norm. My husband went throught the traditional RCIA for confirmation (he was baptized, took first communion, etc but was never confirmed). He met in a small group with a “teacher” during the last half of mass on Sundays from November/December thru April, went to the cathedral and was confirmed the week after Easter. That was something new in our diocese. I converted before I was married so that we could have a full mass at our wedding. I started my RCIA in June and was confirmed the first weekend in August (2 weeks before my wedding). I know this is not usual, I think I was “fast tracked” because of my wedding. I met with the instructor at his house on Sunday evenings and we went over the readings from mass that day. I was unfamilar with the Catholic faith that I was comfortable asking him questions about why they do this or why they do that and not feel embarrassed by being in a group. I really enjoyed the one on one because I think I did learn alot more than my husband did in his group setting. Good luck!

Post # 3
Member
4411 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

senoritafancypants:  I don’t think what you’re experiencing is uncommon. I’m a cradle Catholic, so I haven’t experienced what you’re talking about first hand, but it doesn’t surprise me.

The Catholic Church is heavily based on tradition, and for Catholics, the spirituality comes from that deep seated tradition. That is very different from other Christian-based religions, where the spirituality is closer to the surface and seems more tangible. I’m not sure if I’m making sense, because it’s very hard to explain. 

It will be very rare if you experience that fired up, set me loose, take on the world spirituality in a Catholic Mass that you experience in other Christian churches. That’s because the foundations are different. The Catholic Church doesn’t fire you up like that. You have to reach deeper into yourself, because the Church believes spirituality comes from the soul, not from something external. 

I think this is VERY hard for someone coming from another faith to understand at first, because it is so different from what they’ve always experienced. One isn’t better than the other… I think it just requires a little more personal work to get that feeling for spirituality in the Catholic faith. 

For me…When I attend Mass, and I receive the Body and Blood of Christ, I feel a deep spiritual connection (even harder to explain). But it wasn’t always that way. For a long time, it was just part of the Mass routine… stand now, kneel here, sign of the cross, shake hands, etc.  I’m not sure what made the change, but something change in me. For some reason, it all miraculously felt different. I love the feeling I get when I go to other Christian churches, but I don’t feel that deep spiritual connection that I feel from attending Mass.

I guess what I’m trying to say is what you’re feeling isn’t uncommon. But be patient, be a part of what you’re learning, try to embrace it, and that feeling of spirituality will come. 

Post # 5
Member
4411 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

senoritafancypants:  Really?  That surprises me. I would think they’d want to cover that before Confirmation…  But then, I grew up with it, so I have no idea what they cover in the classes.  I did teach catechism for a while but it was to 2nd graders, so very different from what would be taught to an adult. 

If you want to do some studying on your own, you can actually purchase the Catechism of the Catholic Church. I have it in paperback, and often refer to it. It goes over all of that stuff you’re wondering about. 

Post # 7
Member
4411 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

senoritafancypants:  Hopefully you’ll be able to get your Priest to help you with it. The Catechism is HUGE, and not always easy to understand. But well worth having as a reference. Good luck!!! 

Post # 8
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

 

senoritafancypants:  We never went over the birth control, abstinence, fasting, etc in my RCIA meetings either. It hasn’t been touched on since my confirmation either. All I know about many of the traditions of the catholic church I have found through my own research. I was given a copy of The Catechism and it has been very helpful.

Post # 9
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014 - Windstar on Naples bay

I find there are different RCIA classes. Standad ones and now there are shorter oneS. I took it and kind of regret it. I jumped through so many hoops and hurdles for the church and because I couldn’t attend regularly due to work the church refused to wed us. Oh well love my wedding the way it was. Just sucked. But yes I found it very forceful and lacking in substanCe 

Post # 10
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am currently going through RCIA and am getting married in June. We began our classes mid-September and will finish a couple weeks after Easter. Coming from a Methodist background, I went into it with the intentions to find out what it was about – not commiting to anything. At first, I didn’t feel that I was getting much out of it. I had been attending mass with my FI for two or three years prior and I felt that I already knew what was being taught. Very slowly, I began getting the feeling that this is what I was supposed to do. The past few weeks that has intensified as we have discussed the Eucharist and confession. I feel like I am ready to “convert” at Easter. However, if I didn’t have that feeling I would not be converting. It seems that things slowly came together for me. I have had a lot of questions throughout the process so my fiance bought me a catechism and also a YouCat (youth version of the catechism). They have been helpful in answering my questions and of course my FI has been helpful and supportive as well. Good luck!!

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