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We had a semi-destination wedding. We ended up just inviting everyone, but like you said, most just came up Friday night late or Saturday so they did not attend. We only had 6 guests that were not in the wedding party/family that attended the RD.
IA Snowflake- Thanks that's what I'm thinking. If we invite everyone we won't be able to fit in the RD venue...
ours is a real DW, everyone is traveling. I think we're inviting everybody. If it was a DW that was really just a wedding in the states that people happened to have to travel for, i'd just have the wedding party, and anyone the hosts specifically wanted to include.
My MIL said the same thing. I was going to have something small with just our bridal party but she said we inivited everyone all the way to Florida, she wanted a rehearsal dinner for everyone. We are compromising by having dinner with just us and then a dessert party that EVERYONE is invited too, to watch fireworks. I don't want to intrude on peoples vacation either so it was a great compromise.
@Melissabegins- I agree if we were going out of the states then I'd say yes, but if we were doing out of states we wouldn't have invited so many guests.
@WDWBride- I like the desert idea. I wonder if we can do something like that! We are having the RD at a vineyard and are having the BIL's friend play the guitar as light background music. I think doing a wine & Cheese hour might be nice.
I think that's a good idea!! Since our wedding is at Walt Disney World everyone is making a vacation out of it. I am already asking them to come to the wedding and didn't want to impose. Having something small the night before for an hour or two I think is a great compromise!! I love the idea of a wine and cheese hour!!
We are not inviting everyone to the RD. We will probably meet up later that evening for drinks with everyone but we wanted a small RD with our family and wedding party.
We're having what I wouldn't have considered a DW before reading WB, but I guess it's semi-DW since most of our friends are all over the states and will have to travel. Anyway, we're doing the RD with just immediate family, wedding party and their SOs, and then after dinner the FILs are opening it up to everyone who will be in town friday night and there will be a bar and a DJ and stuff. I thought that was a really nice gesture. FFIL came up with it and got really into the idea.
We had a destination wedding where 90 percent of our guests had to travel at least three hours by car. And we did not invite guests to the RD. Our RD was wedding party, parents and SOs only.
Honestly, the impression my mom was getting from guests was relief that they weren't invited. Many of them were coming in on Friday for the Saturday wedding, but they understandably wanted to relax and do their own thing that night, and explore the town. If you think about it, guests pretty much spend the entire wedding day with you (ceremony, cocktail hour and four-hour reception, and often, an after party). That's a lot of time. Not that they don't love you enough, but you know how it is :)
I think it's a lovely gesture when a couple invites everyone to the RD, but I know that for us, a small RD was definitely in order. It gave us time to connect with our parents and wedding party, and we had a blast (it was 15 people total). If you don't want to invite other guests, don't. I think these days, it's perfectly acceptable to just say that you want a small, intimate RD to spend time with your very loved ones before the craziness of the next day.
We opted to do a Welcome Party instead of a RD because all of our guests were out-of-towners....that way we could include everyone if they wanted to come and make it flexible enough that they could arrive at the event whenever depending on when their flight landed or when they drove into town (rather than trying to do a seated dinner at a set time with people arriving at different times). We served heavy appetizers, desserts, wine, beer and soft drinks.
Honestly, I couldn't imagine having had a traditional RD...the Welcome Party gave us so much extra time with our guests, we were so thankful for it. The entire weekend goes by so quickly, so having that extra time with guests is a bonus.
Also, from a guest perspective...I've been to a few destination weddings over the last couple of years where they did the traditional RD with just the wedding party and immediate family and you feel somewhat left out...you traveled all this way and you only end up getting to see the bride and groom for a short time on the wedding day.
If space is truly an issue think about having people meet at a bar or someplace afterwards so if people do end up driving up Friday night they know where they can find you.
@MissChapstick- The town where the wedding is at is so neat and I figure like you that most people will want to explore the town and do their own thing.
@Sadie- I love your name, that's my girly girl dog's name!
this might be off-topic, but doesn't a "destination wedding" take place somewhere that is more like a vacation destination, and not just a city that not everyone lives at? Like, if my friend moved to NYC from LA and then had her wedding there, but we flew out from LA, it wouldn't be a destination wedding - we would just be traveling for her wedding.
About the rehearsal dinner: although it would be very nice to invite everyone, if it's not possible then I would consider inviting everyone out for drinks at a separate location. I dunno, having the non-RD guests show up at the same place as the RD after dinner seems a little B-list to me, I would probably feel bad as a guest. I've been an out-of-town guest a few times, and the time I wasn't invited to the RD the couple dropped off an out-of-town bag that included some snacks and a bottle of wine which was AWESOME - we just relaxed in our room with the wine and a movie the night before the wedding.
@peanut- Well none of our guests or anyone involved in our wedding lives in the town we are having our wedding at. It is also 5-7 hours away for about half our guests by car and a plane ride for the rest. The town is a vacation spot in the hill country of Texas. So most of our guests are treating it as a mini-vacation. So no it isn't to a foreign country but yes it is a destination because none of us live there. I think some people call this a semi-destination.
Other Destination brides can you help define this for me?
@vintage: I am actually having a wedding in another country, which will require hard-core travel for 20-30% of the guests, but the rest of our guests live in the city that the wedding will be in, and I don't consider mine a "destination wedding" :) For our rehearsal dinner thing, we decided to have a more casual dinner and invite everyone who traveled (since it's such a long and expensive flight) rather than have a smaller RD at a nicer place. I was a little bummed because the place we originally wanted it at wouldn't work out with the larger group, but oh well. Good Luck!
I'm having a destination wedding in Puerto Rico and at first I was going to invite only immediate family and bridaly party to the rehearsal dinner, but since the wedding is rather small and everyone is traveling for it, I decided it would be nice to have some extra time with all the guests.
@peanut- Well like I said I'm not sure the true definition I just know that my situation isn't the same as having the wedding here in my home town and I figured that the DW boards was the best place to get a good response. I think for your wedding inviting all the guests is the correct thing to do because you know when they are all arriving for the most part. Mine not so sure. Aww the joy of wedding planning :) Good luck to you to on your plans!
@vintage2010 & peanutlovespumpkin
It is a common misconception that it has to be some place far away or tropical. A destination wedding is a wedding where the bride and groom along with their guests travel to and stay at. It can be to a tropical destination but it can also be to a tiny town the bride or groom grew up in. Does that help define it? =)
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My FMIL thinks that we should invite all wedding guests to the RD since everyone will be from out of town and etiquette says any OT guests should be invited.
Most of our guests will drive from Houston/Dallas to the wedding. So I am thinking most will arrive Saturday morning and a few might drive up Friday evening and therefore will miss the RD. I think we should just include the bridal party and any immediate family that we know will be there. I really don't think inviting all the wedding guests is a good idea as it might make them feel pressured to attend and thus feel obligated to spend more money on their travel expenses.
Am I wrong in my thoughts? Other Destination brides what have you done?