(Closed) Reaching for the ever elusive ‘big O’

posted 7 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

To clarify–you HAVE had an orgasm… It’s just been a while. Correct?

Post # 5
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

how did you have orgasms before?  Did you have to stimulate your clitoris before to reach O?  Have you been doing that now, after having the baby?

Post # 6
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve never had a baby so I can’t give you an answer to that, but I can only imagine the wacky hormones involved. Plus I’m sure you’re exhausted a lot of the time, right?

Try having one alone. As in give yourself one without DH present. Ever tried the bathtub method?

Post # 9
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

Then I don’t see the problem. I’m sure the g spot will reappear eventually. Adapt and overcome until then.

Post # 10
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@Miss Pinup: Your  baby is 8 months old, correct? If so, then your lady bits are probably still a little insulted. Sex after baby is a little different than sex before baby, and you may need to try new positions, lubricants, etc.

Post # 12
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Miss Pinup: I agree with Helenberry! I have two children under 5, and as much as I enjoy getting down with my FI, it’s just not the same after you have kids. I have trouble turning my brain off so that I can just relax and enjoy the moment, I’ve always got a to do list in the back of my mind and I’m perpetually waiting for one of my kids to wake up crying. Extra foreplay can really help!

Post # 14
Member
569 posts
Busy bee

@Miss Pinup: i have a friend who says sex has never been the same for her since she had her baby. her baby’s now 5. maybe it has something to do with it

Post # 15
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Pshh… As someone who has always had to literally, ahem, *reach* for an O, I agree that you don’t really have a problem here! Haha sorry!

Post # 16
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

Well just because she can get off by clitoral stimulation doesn’t make it any less of a problem to her.  She was able to orgasm by penetration before the baby and now she can’t.  Perhaps the orgasms she’s having now aren’t as good as what she was used to?  Penetration doesn’t do it for me so I don’t know if there’s a difference in intensity between the two.  However, Miss Pinup, I think that it’s causing you a lot of anxiety and that could be a reason.  During sex do you ever find yourself thinking about it? Early in our relationship I couldn’t get off…no way no how.  Which was never a problem in past relationships.  I felt so bad because FI would try so hard to get me there and I just couldn’t….probably becuase it was all I was thinking about.  But then when I finally just shut my mind off and focused on the moment BAM!  Last year I was having issues with dryness down there which I later found out was from my bc.  But it definitely made me sexually frustrated.  I felt like such an old woman!  FI felt like I wasn’t attracted to him/didn’t want to have sex with him.  I found myself thinking “I hope it’s not too dry” before we would even have sex.  During sex I would think “i hope it doesn’t dry out” …which would happen often in the middle of sex.  And nothing kills the mood like saying “hang out, let me get the lube”.  I would get so frustrated with myself that I would just want to quit in the middle of it.  Or of course it could just be that having the baby did change things up. 

The topic ‘Reaching for the ever elusive ‘big O’’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors