Post # 1
Sent out our save the dates on Monday (yay!). Yesterday got a call from a guest who received a STD. Wanted to know if the save the date addressed specifically to her, her husband, and their 14 year old daughter who lives with them also included her grown son and his girlfriend from her previous marriage. NOT KIDDING.
We have literally zero interaction with said son and have never met the girlfriend. We are at capacity limitations and are on a budget. Why do i have a feeling this won’t be the last etiquette shocker???
Let the games begin!
Post # 3
Yea… I remember when I was collected address info from our guests and they automatically included thier children…
We’re having an adult only wedding sooooooo yea… lotsa fun!
Good luck and just breathe 😉
Post # 4
I’m 26 years old and I have lived on my own for 4 years now (not really counting college) and when people send invites to showers and such to my mom they include me on the invitations as though I were still a child living at home. Perhaps that is just what is done in their family? who knows. But i would sure like to start receiving my own invitations for things 🙁
Post # 5
There has to be a name for the red spot brides get in the middle of their foreheads from banging their heads against walls.
Post # 6
Believe me, it wont be the first!
For our engagement party, one of my cousins couldnt come, so the mother asked if the sister could “bring a friend”? Its not a ticket to a concert, we dont want strangers there!
Post # 7
@Miss Sydney: I love your concert ticket reference! I’m gonna remember that one. Well played!
Post # 8
People assume what they want, regardless of what you wrote on the envelope.
Look forward to more to come. Just make sure you stick to your guns.
Post # 9
You are experiencing one of the many problems with printed “Save-the-date” notices: that they are impersonal and ambiguous.
You are relying on the rule that “the names on the envelope list who is invited”, but by the standards of rigourous etiquette, that rule applies to the inner envelope of engraved invitations that omit the write-in line. Save-the-dates with no inner envelopes can’t rely on those rules, especially since they are a new made-up form that doesn’t come under the purvue of formal etiquette. Outer envelopes have to conform to postal-service requirements, and social correspondence is correctly directed to the social head(s)-of-household on the outside, regardless of whom is addressed on the inside.
The formal-etiquette way of letting people know ahead of time, so that they can make travel and vacation arrangements, is to write a personal note to the people that you really want to be there. Personal notes can be a lot less ambiguous, because you can customize the note to the individual you are writing to — and the person reading it knows it isn’t just a form-letter that might not apply in their unique situation.
Anyway, in this case it looks like you’re going to have to have the personal call or correspondence to clear things up, anyway. Good luck.
Post # 10
@aspasia475: Very nice and clear reminder! Thank you!
Post # 11
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
@aspasia475: Interesting and good to know. Maybe I’ll hand write a note on the back of all of our save the dates (they’ll be single-sided). 😛
Post # 12
@bellagio: That is actually a really good idea. It lets you keep the fun of having save-the-date cards, but turns them into informal “note-cards” with a kind personal touch. I like that.