- 3 years ago
Ok so we haven’t been together as long as some. Just coming up for 2 years, living together for a year. He’s 38 – no previous engagements/marriages/kids, I’m 31 – been married before and 2 kids.
Things have been going great. We just signed a 12 month renewal of our tenancy agreement (we want to save a deposit before buying), its nearly Christmas (we both get really excited about Christmas), we have a “just the two of us” trip to Iceland booked for the end of January and a family holiday to Tunisia in May. Lots of plans for the future and obviously I made sure he was serious about our future before we moved in for the kids sake, so I know we’re together for the long haul.
Lately though, I’ve noticed something of a turnaround in his attitude towards marriage. Before, he wasnt bothered, even making a drunken bet with a friend that he wouldn’t be next (they were on a stag night and most of his group of friends are married. The ones that aren’t are nowhere near, not in serious relationships etc) However, since he was best man at a wedding in June, he has started talking about how he’d leave wedding organisation to me and just give me the money to pay for it, whether he’d want a church wedding and other such talk. He’s stopped cringing every time a friend makes a “when’s it your turn” “when you two get married” comment, and lately there have been A LOT of those kinds of comments from close friends. A few weeks ago we’d had a couple of drinks and he told me that some of his friends were jealous about us moving in together because he’d found a beautiful woman who liked the same things he did and he was ready to settle down with. I was a bit surprised, he’s not an openly emotional person so to hear talk like that was lovely.
Anyway, he went into town last weekend and was there far longer than necessary. He said he’d had to wait while his watch battery was changed. Ok but 2 hours? Really? SoI’d asked him what he’d done while he waited. “I went to the pub for a pint” was his reply. “On your own? That’s odd” I said, to which he got excessively defensive and changed the subject. I knew something was up, but left it at that. When he got home he was super sweet to me, took me straight to bed (again not usually spontaneous) and then cooked a lovely meal for me. He was definately up to something.
Then a couple of days ago he said he had to go into town again today to pick up my “main” Christmas present. But you said you already HAD my main present (and I think he does cos I’ve found them already, yeah yeah I’m a terrible person, I know. lol) I won’t know for sure till Christmas morning whether he really has got me something else, or whether it is as I suspect it could be A RING!!
Problem is, although it’s obvious he’s getting his head round marriage and has made comments that show me he is serious about marrying me, I just aren’t sure if he’s ready to actually propose. Personally I think a proposal in Iceland would be perfect, if I was a man that’s where I’d do it. I’m getting really worked up thinking that it just makes sense and the excitement is almost unbearable. I’d never say anything to him that this is what I suspect, he told me he felt pressured in a relationship before and she wouldn’t let him do it when he was ready and it ended up ruining the relationship. Added to which I don’t see the point, I ‘d hate to think he’d only asked to shut me up! So I play it cool, even joke that he’ll never get married cos no-one would put up with him. He knows it’s a joke and I love him with all my heart, and I love that we can joke together. He takes the mickey out of me too I might add!
So while I’m so excited and on tenterhooks on the inside, outwardly I’m my usual calm and collected self, until I talk to friends that is! i just would like to know if I’m reading the signs wrong so I can prepare myself not to be too disappointed if it doesn’t happen either Christmas or in Iceland. How do I cope if it doesn’t happen?