Post # 1
Bees, Bees, Bees. It’s been one of those emotional weeks again. We just got back from a visit with his fam for a few days (they live in the next state over), Dad, stepmom, siblings and stepsiblings, and all the little nieces and nephews. His bro is recently engaged, and fiancee was there of course. I love her, we gabbed the whole time like we’d been best friends for years, so there’s no animosity there, fyi. But all the wedding talk (they’re in the planning stages and have set their date for March ’11) was really making me sad, even thought I’m happy for them. I even held it together while she tried on a dress someone gave her secondhand.
But now, after a couple days back, I can’t help but think of it nonstop, and I’m ready to burst. I’ve been keeping busy and not bringing it up, per Mr. Bee’s plan, but I’m not sure if I can take it anymore. I’m ready to just blurt it out to him “why are you not ready yet?!” It’s driving me nuts, b/c the last time we talked about it, (which was over 2 months ago-forever in girl years) I didn’t really get any productive answers out of him, just I love you, don’t worry about it, blah blah type stuff.
I think I would feel better if I could get a general timeline of when he sees it happening. That would probably help me to work through my feelings, I hope. Thanks for listening, hive.
Post # 3
sorry wonderwoman! It can get very frustrating, but if its a surprise its going to be great. I knew what weekend it was coming. I still loved it, but I kinda wished I didnt know it was coming.
Post # 4
Aww Wonderwoman, you have been having a bad few weeks and I really hope it gets better soon. As for the sibilng being engaged, I know exactly how you feel. A few days after our 5 year anniversary/ the worst let down I have had yet, SO’s soster got engaged to a guy she has been with a little over a year. It was such a punch in gut. About a week or two later we all went out to dinner for SOs Mom’s birthday, she kept on showing me her ring and asking me about cruising (I have been on a few) for their honeymoon and it was horrible. I wanted to be so excited for her because I really like her but I just coudn’t. I hate this waiting I seriously wouldn’t wish this upon anyone.
Post # 5
@lefeymw: Don’t get me wrong, I would die if he gave me an exact time frame. If BF were to tell me, “in the next 3 months”, I’d hafta knock over a pharmacy to keep myself sane with prozac everyday, lol. I just want to know if I have another year or 2 or 3 (God, I hope not) to wait. Sigh.
And it’s just dawned on me, that I bet if we took a poll of all the Waiting Ladies, most of us would describe ourselves as “Type A” personalities, very much liking to have some degree of control over most things in our lives. And the waiting is complete relinquish of that. I think THAT aspect is probably an underlying source of our frustrations. The BF’s are just the catalyst for it maybe?
Post # 6
Oh yeah, I hate my Type A personality with a passion right now. Usually I love controlling every aspect of every situation (not realizing that this may drive everyone around me crazy), but relinquishing that control now is proving to be so extremely difficultl! I have so many perfect proposal scenarios in my head, and I wish he could tap into my brain and see what he needs to do……but alas, his powers of mind reading are not that great.
I hope your BF can give you a timeframe very soon, and then I hope that your wait goes by quickly and less painfully!
Post # 7
I definitely think it is harder as a Type A. I wouldn’t say that I am a control freak, but I do think I like to at least have an idea of what is going on, and not knowing anything KILLS ME! I do want it to be a surprise, but when you are waiting to be surprised for so long, it gets to you, It makes you think–“is he even starting the process or am i worrying for nothing?” And then you want to have a handle in the situation to move it along but you can’t.
<sigh> I know how you feel. Everyday it gets a little bit harder. And every time another girl gets engaged you multiply that pain by like 400~! We are going to get through this and one day it WILL be our day. Keep your head up! 🙂
Post # 8
@yellowlinedpage – I literally feel the same way…I want to be surprised too. But I think the beauty in a surprise is that you dont know theres going to be a surprise until you get it..and “SURPRISE!!!”….In this case we know somethings coming, and are just waiting for it. Its almost cruel. Its like…”sorry buddy, i know you want it to be a surprise, but we know we both want to marry each other and spend our lives together….we talked about it first and so its not a surprise that you want to marry me or that you are going to propose when weve set a date sometime in October of next year….” That being said, theres no point, in my opinion in dragging out the proposal (at least in my case). I want to know if I can expect it by the end of the year (he wont say though) because if its not then I can relax and start the waiting anxiously in January!!
Post # 9
Being a planner as I am makes this really annoying. Today my SO was telling me how I should work more so I can have this and that. And it occoured to me that men are really focused on work. SO cant fathom that working could not be the most important thing to me. And on my side, I cant believe that proposing could not be the most important thing to him! ahhh such a difference in priorites between the sexes… 🙁
Post # 10
@sunrise_stream: You said it- “I cant believe that proposing could not be the most important thing to him!” If you know you want to spend the rest of your life with me, then what’s the holdup, buddy?! I saw a status shuffle status on FB recently that read, “someone who wants something will find a way, someone who doesn’t, will find an excuse” It kinda hit home…….
Post # 11
Aww…I’m so there with you! I’m sorry you’re having a hard time keeping your mouth shut. SO AM I!!! I’ve not talked about it for like 17 days now and it’s driving me crazy. No advice here…just sympathy.
Post # 12
Hey waiting ladies –
I always used to think, if ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT is getting engaged and married, how can he not be thinking about it? Like pp said, how can it not be the most important thing on his mind??? I used to get so angry when he’d go on and on about his work, his family dramas, freaking tv shows he’d analyse to death, etc – I would want to say, focus your energy!! You have important things to be considering!
It turns out, after we did get engaged (after 4.5 years together mind you), that he DID think of very little else for the 6-9 months leading up to the big proposal. He saved and saved and thought about the best times to do it and planned scenarios. Unfortunately for him and I, about 5 of my friends got engaged in that period which drove me INSANE (that includes my best friend who got engaged the weekend before me! Hello meltdown!).
I suppose what I’m trying to say is, take it from someone who NEVER thought it would happen and who never considered that my guy was going through alot of anguish while i was – it will. And when it does it will be amazing.