Post # 1
Bees I am truly losing my mind. I am so ready to have a baby in the house, BUT!
This past weekend I spent the better part redecorating our bedroom adding glam touches here and there and next stop is the office (complete overhaul). I keep looking into our third bedroom and my mind is racing with ideas for the baby’s room. In fact we just bought the perfect smaller sized recliner/rocker for the baby’s room that will temporarily be in the office until the baby arrives. Except I’m not even pregnant, we haven’t even started TTC.
Ladies I am terrified of actually getting pregnant. I know all the risks, the monthly expectations, have talked to friends…I am now on my third book (Mayo Clinic’s Guide to Healthy Pregnancy) just trying to educate away my fear. I have spent a lot of time and energy getting my body to a healthy and somewhat acceptable state and vain/silly little me is afraid to lose all that. And don’t get me started on my fears of delivery…vaginal delivery is NOT an option (don’t try to convince me…waist of energy).
I am ready and willing in every sense of the word. My DH even told me over the weekend that he is beyond ready and has no fears or concerns…so we are still waiting on me.
Does anyone have any suggestions for reading? Watching? Helpful stories or ways you can relate? Am I the only one that was fearful to take that leap? You are all so helpful and I figured you would be the right ones to ask for guidance and a calm shaking (perhaps light slapping?).
Post # 3
@Treejewel19: I think it is perfectly normal to be super nervous! A pregnancy and baby means a ton of change and scary things. It is completely amazing (so I have heard, no kids yet), but that doesnt make all the events leading up any easier. I completly relate to you, we are not TTC but pregancy seems so scary. So many appointments, discomfort, unfamiliar situations etc. And I have said that I will only have a c-section, vaginal birth is not happening for me. I have gotten judged and have recieved snarky comments for this. I dont have any real advice except that I share many of your fears. The fact that you are doing so much to educate yourself and prepare means you are ready and will be a great mom when the time comes. Good luck to you!
Post # 4
Have you ever considered adoption? Then you wouldn’t have to be pregnant at all.
Post # 5
Oh I was terrified! I thought for sure I’d have the worst pregnancy ever. Well I never got morning sickness, not one stretch mark, only gained 18 lbs. everyone’s different of course but don’t expect the worst. Labor wasn’t fun, I’ll give you that, but I’d do it 100 x over for our little girl!
Post # 6
i feel the same way. i have heard scary stories lately, dont need to tell u what they are, but it does put you at unease. u just want a healthy baby. im not TTC yet either but its always scary – the only thing u can do is eat right, just keep doing the right things and everything will be fine 🙂
Post # 7
Getting pregnant and having a child doesn’t mean you won’t still have a cute body. For the most part you just have to keep taking care of yourself while your pregnant. A lot of women get pregnant and then indulge every one of their cravings and eat way more than is necessary, and then after the baby is born they don’t exercise or anything; they just let it all go. You don’t have to do that. You can exercise, eat healthy, wear cute clothes, and then when the baby has arrived, keep doing that same stuff.
Now, I know you said not to try to convince you otherwise, but I just have to say that a vaginal delivery really is a good option. There are benefits for you and the baby. A C-section, while it may sound less painful and like the better option, is a major abdominal surgery. I repeat: Major Abdominal Surgery. It is not something to be taken lightly or thought of as the “easy way”. There are ways to prepare for natural birth that can really help the process along and help the mother reduce the pain. Ok, I’m done.
I don’t know what to tell you to assuage your fears, but maybe you can talk to a doctor and get help and advice that way. Good luck.
P.S. My comment about C-Sections is not for or against. I am simply saying that they are, indeed, major surgery and are not to be taken lightly. Also, that there are many ways to prepare one’s body for birth that can make the process easier and reduce pain. Every woman has to choose what’s right for them, if they are in the position of being able to choose.
Post # 8
@Treejewel19: Not going to lie, the weight gain feeling is awful, and I’ve only gained 2lbs in the 15 weeks and 4 days I’ve been pregnant!
It’s hard to see your waist do that!
But then you get SO excited to see your belly grow, and feel the baby move… It’s WONDERFUL!
Post # 9
You just have to go for it. It’s all worth it! Also, read less! The more you read the more scared you wIll be. I love reason birth stories here and on hello bee because they are real and most are uncomplicated and make it all seem less Scary. Good luck!
Post # 10
This is why we are considering adoption. We aren’t sure that we want kids but one of the major things that would hold us back is my fear of pregnancy!
ETA: I do agree with the PP who said something about a c-section being major abdominal surgery. I have had minor stomach surgery and that was absolutely terrible. Since I have already had that a vaginal birth seems like a better option to me- but I’m still terrified of that! I’m not someone who tolerates pain well at all.
Post # 11
You might get a lot of good info from birthwithoutfearblog.com. I just discovered this site, and it has wonderful birth stories of all kinds: vaginal births, C-sections, hospital births, home births, birth center births, even adoption stories.
Post # 12
@Treejewel19: I’m on a different website that’s geared towards weight loss and fitness, and 2 of my “buddies” on there are now pregnant and they are going through similar fears that you are describing. They were both overweight and have worked hard to lose weight and get their bodies in shape, and now they have to watch the scale go back up, up, up…. and it’s scary! They’re afraid it will become a slippery slope of “I can eat whatever I want because I’m pregnant” – but I think since you’re well aware of what your body should and shouldn’t be doing (and you’ve been working your butt off at the gym and have a good level of fitness) – you seem like you will be just fine and will keep things in check.
I’ve heard from many people that doctors generally say you can keep doing what you’ve been doing for exercise/sports pre-pregnancy during your pregnancy (of course, with some modification and caution) – so you could still continue to work out and pick up the intensity again post-baby..
I suggest that you go check out the Bump Love threads on the Bee.. I’ve been creeping on them like crazy and it’s SO cool to watch everyone grow and see some of the birth stories and recoveries! There are some women on there that bounced back within a couple weeks and look great, it can be done! Haha.. 🙂
Post # 13
@Treejewel19: I was originally in the same boat as you-really wanted a c-section but because I couldn’t take that much recovery time off of work I had to do it the normal way. Well, a year later and my body is the same as it was pp, cute flat stomach, same weight build etc, no stretch marks.. I know this wouldn’t have been the case if I’d gone with the c-section like I wanted. At the very least id have an ugly scar, and I also read that once you cut into those abdominal muscles like that they lose their integrity and you’ll always have a little bit of a pooch After that. Just my two cents.
Post # 14
@Treejewel19: I was super scared, but we just went for it. I didn’t think about it as actually making a baby or I would get so nervous. I just kind of threw all my thoughts away. We ended up pregnant. I am now 7wks and 2d, no morning sickness, nausea is gone, and although I am slightly tired and emotional still, I feel very good. Not all women’s pregnancies go according to the books you read.
Does that mean I am completely ready? Absolutely not. I don’t know anything about midwifes or doulas, I have no idea what happens at each scan or when they are. I’ve only held a handful of babies in my life, never changed a diaper, and dislike most people’s children. I know I will be a good mom, but a part of me says what IF I am a terrible mother? What if I don’t even know how to change a damn diaper??!
I’m taking this one day at a time, reading, making sure I know what I want our of this pregnancy and birth. I think the books are a great resource, but I don’t know that you will find any solace in them before you are pregnant. Just know you will never be completely prepared, but yet you will be fine. 🙂
Post # 15
I’m right there with ya… except that I’m avoiding research because, for me, learning more is just going to increase the fear…
I’ll learn more when I’m already pregnant and it’s too late LOL
Post # 16
Just an FYI, you lose more blood during a c-section than a vaginal birth (I know you said not to change your mind, just throwing facts). You said you were worried about health concerns… AND if you are worried about your post-preggo body…you are more limited with a c-section (longer wait to resume work outs…especially ab ones!)