Post # 1
So Darling Husband and I were talking yesterday, and we made some big decisions about our life in the next year, and Darling Husband has decided that he’s ready to TTC, and I have been ready for some time now, but now that he’s said he’s ready, I’m kinda nervous/scared/worried. I mean I do want to have kids, and I don’t want to wait much longer, but at the same time, we’ve only been married for close to three months now, and a part of me feels like I’m going to miss a lot not waiting longer, and I know a lot will change in our life once we get pregnant. It’s only since yesterday that I’ve thought this. We aren’t planning to seriously TTC yet, more like I’ll stop BC and what happens will happen, but I still have this nervous feeling that I’ll remove my IUD and then bam I’ll be pregnant the first time out. I know that’s not likely to happen, and I know that things will change, and we are ready to have a baby, but I’m scared for the changes, and I don’t know what to do to calm down, any suggestions?
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2011 - Sweet ceremony by the sea and sunset celebration on the North Shore of Hawaii
I’m in the same place as you, d, and what’s gotten me to a good place is knowing that with every new adventure is a little fear. But once you decide to take the leap, the experience is going to be extraordinary.
the hubs and I are going to do a little more traveling before we officially ttc, but I’ve been off BC for 3 months now and have been using protection in the meantime.
so excited for you. 🙂
Post # 4
I can relate because I was really super excited to start TTC and my hubby had to come around to it. Then when he did we decided for awhile to just try without charting or worrying about ovulation timing or anything like that so it was less pressure. Once we actually started doing that I started to get worried like “Maybe we should wait a little more… maybe we should save up a little more money…” I think it is pretty normal to get the worries when something so big is potentially about to happen in your lives. I didn’t have much time to worry though because I did get pregnant after only 2 months lol 🙂 So after I got that positive test I was like, “Well alright, guess that settles that then”
I will say that even though we were together for 7 year before we got married I was really happy that we waited a year after we got married to start trying. We liked having that period of time as newlyweds that was just for us.
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia
What helped me to make the decision to actively TTC (even before the wedding) was knowing the ‘chances’ of getting pregnant each month. You know the drill – even the most fertile of couples with no issues only have a ____ (insert % stat here) of falling pregnant each month… so that helped take some pressure off. Of course, if we’d lucked out and succeeded in the first month, we would’ve been thrilled and made it work – but fate didn’t work that way for us. Still TTC now, but with lots of fertility issues thrown in for good measure.
Good luck! xx
Post # 6
If you are having doubts, I would just take a month or 2 to think it through and accept the idea that you could have a baby by next summer. If you think about it and then discuss again in 4 weeks time and still don’t feel like you are ready then you should consider waiting a bit longer. I firmly believe it will happen when it’S ment to happen but you should not try now to please other people even your Darling Husband.
Post # 7
I have the same fears!
I say to start just get off your IUD and just enjoy the time with your husband. Don’t worry about charting or anything, just have sex as usual and let things happen. If you get pregnant- fabulous! but if you don’t , you relaxingly eased your way into TTC and you can slowly get serious.
Its imoportant to stay postive and low stress :!
Do it whenever you both are truly ready to accept a little on comming ito your lives 🙂
Post # 8
I started to worry too. I think it’s a completely normal feeling because your life is about to change dramatically. But if you know for sure you are both ready, then you should go for it! There will never be a perfect time.
Post # 9
Don’t worry – it’s so normal. I was ready to start 3 months before we actually did, but once the reality of starting hit me, I was like, uhhh maybe I’m not so ready. Fortunately, we’re on month 7 of TTC so I’ve had time to get over my nerves. but whenever you have a major life change, it’s normal to freak out a bit. If you weren’t nervous about the way your life would change, that’d be a little naive! I agree with PP, I don’t think there will ever be a perfect time and a time where you’re totally relaxed with your life changing so much. It’ll be okay!
Post # 10
Yep, I was nervous too. I’ll never forget that first time we BD without any protection. I had a million thoughts going through my mind. We are only on month 2 of trying and I am already getting impatient. Although Darling Husband is quite content with all the practicing and trying!! As long as you and hubby have talked about it and are ready for the change, then that nervous feeling goes away pretty fast. If you truly think you need to wait awhile, then go with your gut and wait till your absolutely sure.
I hope everything works out the way you want it too!
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for all the great input, it’s helped calm me down some, I think for now I will wait a few weeks just to make sure we are both really ready for the possibility of having a little one soon, and then remove the IUD. I think I will also slowly ease our way into it as well, to take the pressure off, and if it happens it happens. 🙂 thanks again everyone!
Post # 12
I really wanted to TTC and have a baby and then when I did get pregnant I had my “holy crap!” moment b/c it all hit me then. And then throughout the pregnancy I had my moments where again, I was freaked out (like the shower when I had all these tiny clothes that I knew I’d be using on a baby soon!). But then she came, and yes life is different but it’s a good different.
Post # 13
I think anyone who isn’t at all scared of becoming a parent isn’t being realistic about what having children means, lol!
Post # 14
I think the majority of women have this feeling. It’s only natural to kinda panic about all of the inevitable changes. It’s a big decision and there’s a lot of uncertainty associated with it. I feel though, when it’s right, it’ll happen and everything will fall into place. Definitely don’t rush it, just have fun being married and seeing what comes 🙂
Post # 15
@Bubu82: Ha! Very good point.
@dolphi99: It is a big decision and it’s great that you and your Darling Husband discuss it openly. I think everyone has the moments of fears… especially with your first one. Remember though, you have Darling Husband there for you as well.
Post # 16
We made the decision to TTC over a year ago, I was nervous then, and even after more than a year of TTC, I am still nervous LOL! I think that if you take it seriously, that it is inevitable that you will have a few butterflies! Even with the minor nerves, we will still be thrilled when we finally get our BFP!