Realistic Me: Low TTC Expectations

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Sharebear:  Eternally optimistic people drive me nuts. Sitting around and waiting for miracles or saying, everything happens for a reason, just be positive and things work out, is totaly bullshit. If you sit around waiting for positives to happen, they might. If you have a plan of action and work towards them, then they will. Honestly, you are being realistic, not negative. And it makes sense to have a plan about what to do in every possible situation. It’s better to be prepared than blindsided.

Post # 4
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think it’s smart to go in with realistic expectations. You always read about those stories of women who never expected to get pregnant but did… but for every one of those there are many women who struggle.

It doesn’t sound like you have insurmountable odds by any means, but yeah, trying to not get your hopes up is probably wise.

Do you plan on charting etc. for those first 6 months or just doing it the old fashioned way?

I heard somewhere that the average couple with no fertility issues takes about 3 months to get pregnant… so I wouldn’t get worried if it doesn’t happen right away.

Good luck though!! Fingers crossed it happens easily for you 🙂

Post # 5
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I absolutely believe in being realistic, but with a positive attitude. Will being sunshine and rainbows make conceiving easier? Scientifically, no, but emotionally, I definitely think so. It’s not always easy, in fact it can be downright miserable sometimes, but knowing what you’re up against and going at it with a solid game plan and a positive outlook will absolutely help. Having a defeatist “it’s probably not going to happen anyway” attitude (not that you do, just as an example) will just make the process that much more of a chore and a bad experience. I truly hope you don’t have a hard time and the process goes smoothly for you.

Post # 6
1499 posts
Bumble bee

I think your plan sounds great! You are giving it 6 months of tryin without aide, and then being realistic! If it doesn’t happen in those months, go see what you can do, and obviously, if it does- great!

Post # 7
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think there is anything wrong with your plan.  Mine was pretty much the same.  I am a planner so I prefer being prepared for things that might happen.  I don’t think that makes you a pessimist, just a realist.  In many ways, I think acknowledging that things can go wrong and being knowledgable about your options can make it easier to deal with than being blind-sided if things stray from the ideal plan.  It also doesn’t take away from your joy if it turns out to be easier than you thought which I certainly hope is the case for you! 

Post # 8
1163 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I also have been diagnosed with PCOS and I had almost the exact same outlook. I kept telling DH that it would probably take a while, doing my best to make him realize that I wasn’t going to be one of the many people we know who get pregnant without trying. I was prepared to go to a naturopath to attempt to conceive as naturally as possible, and then go from there with fertility treatments if we had to. I started charting just to see if I was even ovulating, because I had no idea. Then a week or so later DH told me he wanted to start trying, so I thought what the heck, let’s see how this cycle goes and maybe we can at least get some BDing in around ovulation. To my complete shock, it worked. I ovulated on day 38 and we timed it just right. I’m only 7w2d so not out of the woods yet, but I’m convinced we just got insanely lucky. 

All of that to say, I think you are smart to be practical and realisic in your approach. But you may be pleasantly surprised. That and, I can’t recommend charting enough. This never would have happened if I wasn’t paying such close attention to my body. 

Post # 9
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think you are me. In fact, I was reading your post and thought, “When did i post this?”

I was diagnosed with PCOS at 16. I have been on BC for 10 years and just recently came off in April TTC. I am having the HARDEST time mentally and emptionally TTC. The whole time i was on BC and Not TTC i always had it in the back of my head that i could still easily have kids–No biggie. It was my little ray of hope. Now here i am 3 months in TTC and it has been the most stressful and emotional roller coaster EVER. It is actually hitting me that i may not ever have kids. Or if i do it will be a long difficult process. My hope has vanished and ever ovulation stick i pee on–That comes back negative– another little piece of my hope dies..It’s so challenging and depressing. I hope the best for you. There are so many of us out there struggling with this. I didn’t realize how many womer suffered until i started reading the boards. Good luck to you.

Post # 10
526 posts
Busy bee

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best!

 My Dr told me last month that I have PCOS, and that I should start TTC ASAP because the longer I wait the more my medical conditions will cause issues.  We have only been married 6months and were planning to wait a couple years.  It was awful news to hear.  So now I stalk theses boards trying to find positive stories that show it IS possible, because I expect the worst case scenario like you.  I also know that the stress can have huge impacts, but I don’t think being realistic is stress, I just like to know my odds and prepare accordingly. 

Best of luck to you!

Post # 11
326 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Anyone interested in a PCOS TTC support board?  I don’t know if I actually have it yet, but it sounds like there are several bees who fit the description and it might be a good place to talk about it.

@Sharebear:  I think your approach is fine.  For many of us, it’s not going to happen without preparation and really good timing or even medical intervention.  Seeing BFN’s every month is wearing after a while.

Post # 13
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Sharebear:  We must be soul sisters! I am a huge supporter of adoption. Just not so sure about DH. He’s such a good hearted man so i can imagine he would go the adoption route if all else fails but he’s not there yet. He still has a lot of hope in my body. I am going to give it 3 months of OPKS and charting before going. That way i will have a better understanding of my body. I figure if i walk in with charts and showing what i’ve done the doctors will be more willing to go ahead and step inand try to help. That is my hope anyway.

Post # 14
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I keep getting the same reaction from those who I tell our ttc plan to (our plan is identical to yours).  I wish that people could see that it is something that I am really excited about, I just want to protect myself a bit!

Post # 15
6166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Sharebear:  i do, i’m very scared it will take me a long time because of my age and i have fibroids. but we are starting to TTC on our wedding night (if we can stay awake that long)




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