- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Does he think he purchased platinum? If so, then yes you should say something. If he paid for platinum and was given silver that's pretty sh*tty and he should receive what he paid for and thought he was getting.
Where it gets tricky with telling him is if he knows he got silver and he's trying to play it off as something it's not... He might be ashamed that that was all he could afford and told you it was something else? If you really don't care, and he knows it's silver, it's your call if you want to bring it up.
um, YES.
Either two things happened:
1) your FH lied to you about something that you wouldn't have cared about anyway which makes me question why he needs to lie?
2) he got the bad end of a deal and paid platinum for a sterling silver price. if that's the case - I'm sure you and him wants what he paid for!
I recommend having the ring tested to make sure it's SS before you worry him. If it turns out to be anything other than platinum (platinum DOES get dinged, scratched, etc), then it's time tofell him so that he can either get his money back or get the real thing. My engagement ring is a Tiffany style 2-2.5 mm width solitaire band. The platinum alone for my band was $900. When platinum prices recently dropped it went down to $750 but still.. that's a chunk of change. Not to mention I'd be terrified of having a valuable stone in stirling silver prongs. I bend my SS rings all time and have lost quite a few non-precious stones (I'm rough on rings).
I would give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him, so if he did get duped he has an opportunity to go back to the retailer and get some money back or change the setting.
When you bring it up, just mention it super casually, and see how he reacts. If he's really defensive, he probably knows he's silver (and if you don't care, let it go - he was just trying to impress you!) and if he's genuinely shocked, he got scammed by the jeweller.
So not cool for the jeweller to do that, so I think you should definitely mention something.
I would definitely say something. Sterling silver is beautiful, but it's not ideal for a wedding/engagement ring. I have a sterling ring that I wore everyday for less than a year and a half and it's already bent out of shape from wear. I'm sure you don't want that to happen to your beautiful ring. I'd tell him and then the both of you go visit the jeweler that sold it to him.
I agree with taking it to a jewelers to have it tested, as horrible as this sounds you might want to have them check out the stone too. A lot of simulated diamonds look VERY similar to real diamonds.
I would approach the topic very carefully as everyone else is saying because if he knows about it then he's going to feel really embarassed and potentially defensive and angry OR he had gotten scammed and will have to take the steps to rectify the situation.
I think the best thing to do is make sure that he knows you love it no matter what it turns out to be because it was the ring he chose for you to symbolize his commitment to wed and THAT is what it's all about.
Do you have the paperwork on the ring/appraisal handy? If not can you ask to see the papers before you mention it to him? That will tell you what he thinks he bought and you'll know whether to just leave it alone or pursue this.
Do you mind sharing what the markings are? My ring is platinum and it is stamped ".950"' which I had thought was a marking for silver, but it only means that the metal is .95 pure platinum, apparently. I had no idea until the man who appraised my ring told me. I also find that it gets scratched up and almost looks matte on the palm side of the ring. This is fixed by buffing, they make it look good as new!
agree that you should get it tested BEFORE bringing this up to your FI. .950 is used to show the content of the metal, and .950 is used in both sterling silver and platinum. Platinum also does get scratches, and I've heard people say it scratches more easily than gold. Good thing is those scratches can be buffed out without losing any metal.
If it turns out not to be platinum but silver, tell him, because sterling silver's not durable and you stand a chance of losing your center stone. I wouldn't bring it up, though, until being 100% sure. If he was duped, he should know.
The difference between platinum and gold (and silver) is that when it gets scratched it can be buffed out without any loss of material - because when you cratch a gold ring, you actually scrape away a tiny part of the metal and it's lost but when you sratch platinum the material just "rearranges."
It's harder to scratch platinum but it is totally possible. Better indicator is the weight - the same ring in platinum will be much heavier than one in gold (or silver). Is you ring very light? I agree with PP - don't do anything without testing the metel first :)
To show you some "evidence" I reccomend this article or this one.
HTH
@future_schu: He went on and on about how he purchased a platinum ring, because he knows I hate gold and he didn't want to get me white gold, knowing I would scratch and ding it. He was told "platinum could be buffed out."
Well, I think part of my peek at the markings is now that I've been wearing it a few months - it's getting scratched, dinged and misshaping.
@adage: I think his aunt, who helped him pick out hte ring from "a friend who is a jewelery dealer" gave him the raw deal. Especially because when he found out the ring isn't my style - I didn't hide it well - he was okay with picking out something together, but her and the jewelry dealer refused to take it back for exchange days after it was purchased.
@mcklough: I will keep the ring no matter what. But if he was duped, and paid price for platinum, I want to make sure he gets money back and reports the jeweler.
@abirdword: It's stamped 925 - the common stamping for sterling silver. No "PLAT" or "PT" or not even a " 1/20 or 1/25 PT CEC" would mean its been plated.
@future_schu: He went on and on about how he purchased a platinum ring, because he knows I hate gold and he didn't want to get me white gold, knowing I would scratch and ding it. He was told "platinum could be buffed out."
Well, I think part of my peek at the markings is now that I've been wearing it a few months - it's getting scratched, dinged and misshaping.
@adage: I think his aunt, who helped him pick out hte ring from "a friend who is a jewelery dealer" gave him the raw deal. Especially because when he found out the ring isn't my style - I didn't hide it well - he was okay with picking out something together, but her and the jewelry dealer refused to take it back for exchange days after it was purchased.
@mcklough: I will keep the ring no matter what. But if he was duped, and paid price for platinum, I want to make sure he gets money back and reports the jeweler.
@abirdword: It's stamped 925 - the common stamping for sterling silver. No "PLAT" or "PT" or not even a " 1/20 or 1/25 PT CEC" would mean its been plated.
The easiest thing to do would be to get it appraised, you need to do that to have it insured anyway. So tell him you are getting your ring insured, get the appraisal, and if it comes back as anything other than platinum show him the appraisal. If he still has the paperwork from the jeweler indicating he purchased platinum you should take legal action against the dealer.
I would definitely speak to your FI about this. You are going to be married, shouldn't you two be able to discuss anything and everything with each other? He shouldn't feel like he has to lie to you about something, and/or you shouldn't feel like you can't talk to him about something that bothers you.
Yes get it checked. And definitely get the stone checked for authenticity as well.
Yeah, I think you should tell him it's SS and let him handle it. If he wants to make a fuss and get his money back, then he has the option to do that. What a horrible thing, how dishonest! :(
925 is almost certainly sterling silver. I think he might have gone to a dishonest jeweler. I would tell him your concerns immediately. Do you have a silver ring you could compare your e-ring to? If the e-ring is actually platinum it would be noticably heavier than a silver ring, so if they are comparable that might be a way to give evidence to you concern.
definitely tell him non-threateninly. YOu can alwasy upgrade later but make sure he didnt pay for something he didn't get!
925 is silver.
I would take it to a jeweler first and have them tell you for sure. If it turns out that it really is silver, I would bring it up to him, just in case he did get ripped off. Not sure how you should handle it if he lied, though. Right now I'd be more worried that he was ripped off.
This is horrible news. I would like to think your FI didn't lie, so speak to him about it. It's something you need to get to the bottom of.
after doing a search online, it seems that .925 would only mean silver (never plat), and .950 would only mean platinum (never silver). I can't find any sources that say otherwise.
here is a guide to all the different stamps: http://www.amazon.com/gp/help/jewelry/?ie=utf8&popup=common%2Cmetal_stamp
I would definitely break this gently to your SO. go easy on him. it's possible that he does not know.
sorry! :(
Oh how AWFUL!! If he had lied about it (due to finances or anything else) he wouldn't have offered to trade it in for another ring. I find it completely shady that the store wouldn't take it back (unless it was custom), and it sounds very much like he was duped into paying platinum price for sterling silver. I agree with everyone who said to get it appraised, and have them check your stones also. It is VERY hard to tell diamonds from CZ with the naked untrained eye, but bringing it to a reputable jeweler and explaining the situation should help you. If he was duped, he needs to know ASAP because he overpaid even if it is a diamond. Sterling Silver is NOT ideal for prongs, so if you leave it as is you may have an even bigger problem on your hands. If the jeweler says nothing helpful, threaten to call the better business bureau, the local newspapers and news stations, post it all over Facebook and Craigslist, the attorney general and a lawyer.
@reebee: Who do you go to have it appraised? Do you think a small local jeweler would do it? No one in my family has purchased any good jewelry in years (my mom has tons of it, she never wears half - no other females in my generation).
@tonights: I'm not a ring person by nature. I only have one other ring I wear regularly, a white gold ring that was my promise ring from him. It is marked appropriately for 14K white gold and goregous:)
@soyjoy222: Exactly. I"m really afraid his aunt (who seems very shady in her behavior) got him ripped off. Which if that's true, I'm soooo pissed at her or the dealer taking advantage of him.
@MerryWidow: Right? Why would he have offered to exchange the ring (which was an emotional thing as it was, he was so proud he got me a nice ring - I tried to hide that its the last style I would ever pick for myself with no success).
I'm not 100% sure, but I would think you DEFINITELY need to do something about this. I wouldn't think a diamond would be safe in a sterling setting. If he didn't go to a reputable jeweler, there's no telling what you have. You two need to protect your investments, and for goodness sake get that thing appraised and on your insurance!!!!!!
@dragonlover: A jeweler will appraise it. If they didn't sell it to you, I think they may charge you. I would suggest only using jewelers from now on. I'm a jewelery lover and they are wonderful investments if aquired and cared for correctly!
I have a feeling your SO might have gotten duped. I mean, I know my guy wouldn't know the first thing about those marks (or even look for them!)
I'm so sorry this is happening. If he paid for platinum (the most expensive kind of metal), he was absolutely robbed. Verify this ASAP, a sterling silver ring will not last you as a wedding ring.
@KatyElle: 100% AGREED!
Platinum is the most expensive while SS is one of the least expensive. :/ So if he got duped you NEED to get your money back ASAP!
You do need to do something ASAP because not only is sterling silver not strong enough to securely hold a prong-set stone, but also if your FI was ripped off on the setting I'm not entirely convinced the diamond will turn out to be real either. Not to alarm you, but if it really was some super shady scam I can't see them setting a real diamond in a costume ring.
@dragonlover: Contact some local jewelers or your insurance company to find an appraiser, you will have to pay for it though. Once you have it in hand you can simply tell your FI that you needed the appraisal for insurance purposes, and hopefully he will be as shocked as you were about the fraud.
I agree with PP that if it is in fact a silver setting the stones are more than likely CZs. I can't imagine that someone committing fraud would set real diamonds in silver. On a positive note, here's hoping that he can threaten the shady jeweler with legal action, get a refund, and you can get the ring you really wanted!
I would go to any local jeweler asap! Please come back and let us know how it goes.
Sorry you are going through this :( Hope you get to the bottom of it and if he paid for platinum, that he gets a refund in full!! Keep us posted!
I would take it into a jeweler. Platinum isn't invincible. My ring doesn't have a stamp, but it does show several signs of wear. I know it is platinum because I trust my jeweler and it is heftier than gold rings.
Tell him ASAP and get it tested! If its ss he deserves to get what he paid for!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 89 |
| beargoose | 54 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 51 |
| Mrs.KMM | 46 |
| ndreighton | 46 |
| BetterSherm | 42 |
| akp0702 | 41 |
| stardustintheeyes | 36 |
| Beckster329 | 36 |
| MrsPom | 35 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| JustLove25 | 20 |
| GelaMac | 17 |
| jcent | 13 |
| MerryWidow | 10 |
| Mrs.danish | 8 |
| halli | 7 |
| lilsweetie | 7 |
| capergrrl | 7 |
| komatsu | 7 |
| helena31 | 7 |
So...
Caught at home on a rainy evening, I decided to be a girly girl and dream about wedding bands. I have been looking for somethign to match my engagement ring when slowly I came to realize something.
I took a serious look at the markings on the band. By looking at the tiny markings and remembering markings on another ring.. I came to realize something - the platinum and diamond ring my FH was so proud of saving to get me.
The ring is common sterling silver. Not platinum.
I don't care because I'm vain. However, FH told me this entire story of how he really wanted to get me a platinum ring because he heard they are stronger (I know they aren't the strongest but it's what he heard) and knows I am rough on jewelry.
He scrapped and saved ot purchase it.
It's common sterling silver. I thought the ring/metal was behaving oddly to nicks, scratches, etc.. showing signs of waer.
Do I say anything?