Post # 1
I have seen a lot of posts about uneven bridal parties, but they are usually like 3 on one side, 4 on the other or like 7 and 5, etc. I haven’t seen anything about this so I figured I’d post about it.
We originally had 6 BMs and 3 GMs. I know that’s already a big gap, but we figured we’d have 2 girls to 1 guy and it wouldn’t be a problem. Well, one of our groomsmen dropped out.
Now we are down to 6 and 2. I just feel so bad. I feel so awkward having all these girls and poor Fiance only has 2 guys. I have suggested that he ask some of my family members to be included (hubby of one of my BMs, my 17 yr cousin, etc) that I know would gladly accept and he says no.
6 girls and 2 guys is going to look really bad isn’t it?!?!
Post # 3
It is totally fine to have an uneven party. It won’t look bad at all. What is important that you both have your closest friends/family up there with you on the day. Don’t try to fill in his side with people that he isn’t close with.
Post # 4
@ delirium.megans….Exactly right.
OP, your wedding will not be any “better” just because you have an even-numbered bridal party. In fact, if you start adding people for the sake of symmetry, you are going to end up with more headaches. You really want the people in your bridal party to be invested emotionally in your wedding. If they aren’t, they may start causing problems for you (guys not getting fitted for tuxes on time, not showing up to the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner, etc.).
Trust me, on your wedding day, you are not going to care about whether your bridal party is symmetrical or not!(and it’s not going to affect your marriage either!)
My advice to you is to stop worrying about it. Good luck with your planning!
Post # 5
Thanks… I know I’m probably just having bride brain about this, but for some reason it’s really bothering me.
Personally, I would be happy to have my cousin and BM’s husband in our party as I love them both dearly and trust them both. It wouldn’t be me just finding random peeps on the street and asking them to stand with us. Haha I swear I’m not that crazy (yet).
But I guess if Fiance is not comfortable with it I need to just be okay with it.
Like I said, I’ve seen lots of uneven bridal parties, but usually only a 1 or 2 person difference, not 6 and 2!
Post # 6
Fair enough – it’s the little details that will drive you crazy and make you lose sleep.
For me, the little things (they seem huge at the time!) I stressed over didn’t impact my day at all, and to be honest, I didn’t even THINK about them on the wedding day.
I also had an un-even bridal party (5 girls, 3 guys) and we had an amazing time. My fiancé also felt strongly about not asking guys he didn’t have a close personal relationship with, and since I didn’t care, that’s what we went with. The pics look amazing, and not one guest made any comment about them being uneven.
Try not to let it stress you out!
Post # 7
I don’t think it’s a big deal! I was in a wedding where we had 4 BMs and 6Groomsmen. The first 2 BMs/GMs were paired 1-1, and the last two BMs were paired with 2 GMs. It sounds like you could do something similar, but opposite pairings. I think it’s totally okay to have uneven sides these days and a lot more common! Besides, most of the time at the ceremony, the BMs and GMs aren’t standing next to each other anyways. They also announced each person individually at the reception, so it didn’t matter that we had perfect “pairs.”
Post # 8
Thanks guys! I swear I don’t have a problem with uneven bridal parties, it’s just the huge unevenness (is that a word?) in my particular situation that’s bothering me. I’m just trying to figure out the logistics for 6 and 2.
When it was 6 and 3 we were just going to pair up 1 guy with 2 girls. It still wasn’t even, but it made sense.
Now we’re at 6 and 2, I don’t see how we can pair anyone up.
I’m like half frustrated that the groomsman dropped out and half frustrated that my Fiance doesn’t want to add in any other guys. I also feel guilty that I asked all these girls to be bridesmaids without asking how many guys Fiance wanted. I guess I just assumed that he would ask my cousin and BM’s husband because we are close to them and was surprised when he said no. <— You know what happens when you assume. 😉
Post # 9
If you really care about the “look” but don’t want to add people for the sake of adding, then you might think about rearranging them and put three gals on each side along with a guy.
But honestly, I say not to worry about it. It’s too late to cut your side and if he doesn’t want anyone else, then so be it. I myself felt quite strongly that those on my side ought to support me and those on his side ought to support him – so if he wanted his sister up there, then he ought to ask her to be on his side, I wouldn’t be putting her on my side just because she was female. Does he have any female friends he might want to ask?
Post # 10
Could you have 2 girls walk in together after the first 2 sets of Bridesmaid or Best Man and GM?
Post # 11
It doesnt matter if the numbers match. What matters is that you both have the people that you love the most standing up there with you! Nobody will think twice about it!
Post # 12
@kay01: Thanks. Honestly I don’t know if I would cut my side anyways, I know 6 is a lot, but I can’t imagine not choosing even one of them! Coincidentally, one of them is FI’s sister, she will be on my side. I had thought about having her stand on his side… But then my brother is also on his side. That would be weird too right? My brother and his sister on his side? Haha.
@lauraq123: That could work? Haha I keep trying different pairings in my head. Ugh, stupid little things like this make me want to elope. 😉
Post # 13
We’re having a hard time with this, too. I have my 3 girls and I couldn’t imagine not having all 3 up there with me. Fiance, on the other hand, only has 1 best friend. So, 3 and 1? It will be pretty obvious. Plus, my Mom’s a little….rigid when it comes to traditions and will think it’s insane if we don’t match up, ugh. He’s been toying with trying to ask 2 of his friends, but they’re just not close and it’s awkward as hell.
So yeah, sorry I’m not much help, but I am in a similar boat. To be honest, I DO think it would look a little strange with 6 and 2, just as it would with 3 and 1. That being said, though, I agree with PPs that it doesn’t matter how it looks, only that you have “your people” up there with you on that day. Who cares what people might think (and some might not think anything of it!), you don’t really want to ask just anyone to be up there just to even things out. Good luck!!
Post # 14
@Juliepants: Ugh my mom is giving me a hard time about it too… I just try to ignore her at this point. 😉 Fiance only has his one best friend too. And he asked my brother because they’re very close. The 3rd groomsman who dropped out was a good friend, but they just aren’t as close anymore and kinda drifted apart. So I totally get it, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating!
Post # 15
If the guys you mentioned possibly adding are guys who you would ask to be your own attendants, I say you should ask them. I don’t think it matters which side an attendant is standing on for the ceremony- they are there because they are close to one or both of you. One of my BM’s is my FI’s sister, who I’ve only met twice, and one of the GM’s is my brother who my Fiance barely knows. Instead of having boys on my side and girls on his, we decided that the whole bridal party would be our collective group of close friends and family.
Post # 16
@TinyTina: We are uneven as well and it kind of bothered me at first (nothing compared to the meltdown my Mom had), but I’ve seen tons of situations where it ends up being fine. I have five girls, but between ushers and Groomsmen Fiance is probably looking at around 10-12! What’s most important is that you each have who is important to you.
Could you skip the pairings as a whole? Just have them each walk indivudually and I’ll bet that would look nice too. Problem solved! Trying to force the symmetry will only give you a headache…instead of trying to force a solution, adapt to what you have 🙂