(Closed) Really?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Count him as a no. If he really wanted to be there, he’d find a way and not make a comment like that.

Post # 4
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ack so frustrating!  I understand the situation a bit but seriously?  I would never leave unpaid rent or not get my mail.

Post # 5
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Definitely count him as a no.

Post # 6
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

So this is a person who was married before- and thus very likely knows that weddings aren’t just “show up if you feel like it that day” type of events. ugh. Sorry you’re stuck with that 🙁

Post # 7
Member
1757 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would send him a reply stating, “The caterer needs a definite number by [date]. Unless I’ve received a definite “Yes, I will be there” response from you by then, I’m going to have to consider you a “no” as far your RSVP is concerned.”

Post # 8
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would send him a message back and say you understand he’s busy and it’s totally fine that he can’t make it. Maybe you two could catch up over dinner when you get back from your HM. Force him into a no because otherwise could you imagine if he did show up at the reception and there’s no place for him?!

Post # 9
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hi date twin! Ugh, how annoying is that!? Someone told me a few days ago, they would let me know in a few weeks if they were coming. Um, hello?

Post # 10
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@Selene221:  Actually, if he has drill, there is no possible way he can get out of it, even if he wants to be there.  Granted, he definitely should have had more tact in his response, but just wanted to clear up that drill is for Army reserves and National Guard.  They have to train one weekend per month and trust me, there is no calling in sick, having someone to cover your shift, or anything like that.  My husband is active duty Army and will be National Guard in a few months, so trust me, I know all about how lame their schedules are. 

Post # 11
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I translate that to meaning No. I would write back and tell him not to worry himself about the wedding and I will put him down as “no”.

Post # 13
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@marjojo:Yeah, unfortunately drill is for an entire weekend.  Usually they head on over to their drill early on a Saturday morning (depending on how long they have to commute) and get back on Sunday night.  When my DH is Guard, he’ll have about a 2 hour commute to where his drills will be, so that might be a factor in your cousin’s ability to come.  There might have been the possibility to switch his guard weekends around, but usually something like that has to be done way in advance, and even then your leadership is going to give you a heck of a time for doing so. 

Post # 14
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would assume he would be able to know for sure if he was drilling or not though, and what time it would end.  I can’t imagine that if his drilling went so late that he would miss the ceremony and only be able to make it to the reception, that he would have the energy to get dressed up and come at all. 

I would send him a message saying something like “Sorry to hear you have to drill that weekend. You’ll probably feel exhausted when you’re done, so don’t feel obligated to try to make it.  We’ll miss you.”  Then you can see how he responds.  He’ll likely either say “thanks for understanding, hope you have a wonderful day!” or “Oh no, it’s no trouble, I’ll be there for the reception” and you can get a more firm answer out of him.

Post # 15
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I like @bakerella‘s idea. And yeah, he can’t just up and leave drill. Or at least that’s what I thought.

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