(Closed) REALLY annoyed with SO-what would you do?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think it’s appropriate for an engaged/married man to go running alone with a single woman (or any woman really). Group – fine. One-on-one? Nope. I don’t like tempting fate. I don’t believe in putting stumbling blocks in a relationship. And with her history, I REALLY don’t like it.

I would have to have a calm conversation with him about “What should our policy be about making one-on-one new friends of the opposite gender?” For me, that one is non-negotiable, it is very important to me not just that our activities are proper but that they also APPEAR proper.

Can the three of you run together? Will he just say he’d prefer to run alone to her? There seem to be a couple of issues mixed up in her – the two of you running together and the strife that is causing, and him and her running together, and the strife THAT is causing. Maybe you all should just go back to running alone or running in larger groups?

Post # 4
Member
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would probably be just as upset as you are. It seems like he is willing to go out of his way to do things for someone else than he is for you. As his SO you should be first on his list. 

Post # 5
Member
9611 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

You are not over-reacting at all! WTH has her buying new running clothes got anything to do with him? You are his girlfriend, he should be running with you!

Post # 6
Member
5969 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Corgi-cariad:  It seems like this running thing has turned into a sore spot for you two….but the whole, “You slow me down” thing, would have been mentioned once, and every ensuing conversation we had surrounding that topic would have ended with him mysteriously getting food poisoning…what is WRONG with him?

The one on one running with the work bimbo would stop, or I would go contract the biggest, beefiest, most gorgeous personal trainer, nutritionist, massuer I could find and go running with him instead….let Forest Gump see how it feels to have someone else sweating with his significant other….

 

 

Post # 7
Member
3767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would be pissed. That is totally inappropriate and hurtful. It makes no sense for him to run with her, who is slower than you, when his reason for not running with you is that you are too slow.

If I were you I might go find my own extremely attractive male “work running buddy”.  😉 (kidding! I know that won’t solve anything… but it would give him a taste of his own medicine!)

Even though FI runs faster than me, when we run together he usually runs at my pace with me. We are not training for a marathon or anything, but I might be a little irked if he consistently left me in the dust.

Post # 8
Member
2462 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i don’t think it’s a big deal for him to run with her in general (though it sounds like you already have concerns about their relationship/her being inappropriate). but it’s really rude/disrespectful/inconsiderate of him to blow you off for her, especially when he’s asked you to change your schedule around for his. if i were you, i’d talk to him about these as interrelated but also separate issues–1) maintaining boundaries with this girl and 2) doing this together as a bonding experience

Post # 9
Member
5221 posts
Bee Keeper

@Corgi-cariad:  Look, I’m all for calling it like I see it, but I hardly think you know her well enough ( after 1 meeting you said) to have pegged her a slut or work bitch. If you’re mad, your anger should be directed at your SO.  She isn’t the true issue here. So using those terms and feeling threatened by her will not resonate with your SO. I would talk with him and not even mention her at all, it is between YOU and HIM and YOUR relationship boundaries, no matter how many ” Meg’s” and ” Johns” may surface in and out if your lives together. 

Post # 10
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I woud be pissed (I’m not a runner, just an elliptical-er, lol).  I have no idea why he thinks “Meg’s” new running clothes is an impetus to run with her, makes no sense.  Maybe you three can run together and you two can leave her in the dust!  

Post # 11
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

Everything about this is wrong, in my opinion.

First of all, he should not be blowing you off to hang with another woman. Second, even if he made plans to run with her, why cant you go too?

Third of all, him making comments about how you slow him down are just rude. My husband is a foot taller than me, but I am a better runner. We run together as a way to encourage eachother and have fun. If he ever made a comment about me slowing him down, it would be the last time I run with him.

Post # 12
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Um, no. This is not ok and it’s ridiculous of him to think it is ok.

Post # 13
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Mrs_Amanda:  +1

I’d be annoyed, too but why can’t you all run together?  The issue is with him and not her. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him running with her alone, but it’s annoying if he chooses her over you or bitches about running with you then goes an runs with someone slower.  He probably just feels he can’t say no to her because he doesn’t want it to be awkward in the office. Who knows. Try and talk to him calmly about how it makes you feel, without bringing her into the conversation at all.  Would you feel the same way if it was a male? or his sister? If so, try and explain it that way perhaps. If you come off as not trusting him, it just won’t end well.

Post # 15
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

No you aren’t being psycho! This is absolutely ridiculous and inappropriate! This kind of stuff would not fly in my relationship because it’s downright rude! Put a stop to that immediately! 

I get pegged a lot as a “bitch” because I tell it like it is and that can sometimes be a bad thing but in this case I’d probably be quite condescending to her. I’d make her sound pathetic by saying “awww nobody else would run with you? It’s a good thing you have my overly-sweet boyfriend to help you out. Wouldn’t want you to be a loner or anything..”

I know, I know. Bitchy! But it’s me..

Post # 16
Member
1008 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Even if he isn’t being innapropriate with her, he clearly likes the attention from her. That is why he runs with her… in my opinions based on what you said.

I would try to stop it. Your FI should value your relationship enough to sotp something he says he doesn’t enjoy and has only done twice.

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