Post # 1
My cousin is getting married at the end of July. I received the invitation today. It was only addressed to me. I live with my FI.
My parents received their invitation. My 28 year old brother lives with them, and he was neither listed on theirs nor sent a separate invitation.
as it stands that means my brother and my FI are not technically invited. Since my dad (it’s his side) does not adhere to etiquette he called my aunt and asked if my brother and my FI we’re invited, and she said of course and that she had nothing to do with addressing invitations.
I guess because I’m planning a wedding I’m a little more aware of these types of things but really? I felt awkward enough about my dad calling my aunt. Ugh, I’m going to be super careful when its time to send my invitations out, I want to avoid mistakes like these at all costs.
Post # 3
@MsYankee: OMG my mom messed up my invitations like this too!!!! She forgot my BMs boyfriends name and put and guest unstead of calling me. And left off the name of one of our friends girlfriends that have been together for about 10 years
Post # 4
haha i got an invitation for my cousin’s wedding addressed to me & guest. my sister got one addressed to herself and my husband (we got married right before receiving the invite, so he was still my fiance at the time, but my cousin and his fiance were invited to our wedding…and ignored the invitation/my message asking if they were coming)
ETA: also, when we received the invite, we were given about a week and a half to respond before the rsvp by datel, so it was really obvious that we were only invited b/c other people couldnt go
Post # 5
@MsYankee: Just be grateful that your Dad called your aunt, and you didn’t have to do the clarifying yourself.
Remember this when it’s time to teach etiquette to our own children as apparently someone failed to teach your cousin. (or she was too lazy to look things up online, or both).
Post # 6
Don’t even start me… we had the “___ seats reserved for you” thing on the back of our invitations, it was supposed to be filled in by hand for each couple, my parents told me to have the cards sent to them and they’d do it. How nice!
T_T They forgot it was even there and everything got mailed with a blank space!! 🙁 I didn’t get mad or anything, ’cause they were doing me a favor and if I wanted it done a certain way I should have done it myself… but boy has that been a stressful thing to correct, because our guest list is already tight and I didn’t want people thinking they could just bring any number.
Fortunately our wedding is small and most people know the score already.
Post # 7
@MsYankee: same thing happened to me, FI and I had purchased our home but were still waiting to close when my cousin got married so we still lived with our parents. my parents received one invitation to the “lastname family” which we assumed meant FI was not invited. I was supppper offended (we were 6 months away from our own wedding and we have been dating forever, longer than some of my younger cousins have been alive) and contemplated not attending, until my mom called my aunt to clarify and she responded that it was just too much text to have his name on the envelope but of course he is invited.
I definitely made sure to include everyone by name if they were invited!
Post # 8
I screwed one up bad for my wedding… oneof my canadian cousins has had a serious bf for a while (that I apparently never knew about) but I sent the invite just to her, not the bf! Behind the scenes phone calls were made and her RSVP card came back with his name added to it. Boy did I feel like a giant ass!! Haha we’re all only human I guess 🙂
Post # 9
My cousin is the groom his fiancé has been with him for about 4 years. I’m getting the impression she’s trying to do things without my aunt (her FMIL’s) help, and she’s young (22). I don’t know, the whole thing (especially not inviting my brother!!) was weird. And the RSVP date is June 22, just got it today, that seems pretty quick turnaround/kind of late invites. We have been told we were invited since they got engaged, attended the bridal shower, and everyone got their invites this late.
She knows about and has met my FI a bunch of times and obviously knows my brother very well.
Post # 10
I misspelled my bridesmaid’s name. Yes, I gchat her daily and see her name every day. Yes I handwrote every envelope. No I didn’t notice.
Post # 11
@MsYankee: What’s there to be super careful about? All you’ve got to do is name the people you’re inviting. It’s hardly rocket science. Just because they made a dumb mistake, it doesn’t mean you will.
Post # 12
@MsYankee: My cousin did this. Sent an invite addressed only to me, and I live with SO. Both before and after sending the invite, she talked about looking forward to meeting him at her wedding. She also sent an invite addressed to just my mother, but not to my sisters who live at home (17 and 22 at the time). She discussed, in length, plans with my 22 y/o sister for when she visited for the wedding. (My cousin lives in FL, we live in New England). So bizarre. We never ended up clarifying the invites b/c we couldn’t go, but I totally would’ve called my cousin to ask if I was able to make it. I certainly wasn’t flying to FL for a Sunday afternoon wedding by myself!
Post # 13
Unfortunately, after reading all too many similar stories, I am no longer surprised by anything, including the fact that these people assumed you would somehow “know” your brother and your FI were included. Actually, your father did the exact right thing according to even the most proper and traditional etiquette mavens. No need for you to feel awkward.
Post # 14
@MsYankee: Before planning my wedding, I didn’t adhere to rules of etiquette (out of lack of knowledge rather than an informed choice) and I just went with the way my family always did things. Now that I’ve learned so many rules of etiquette, I find that I am more sensitive to missteps taken by others. I think wedding planning teaches you a lot about proper etiquette and yes, we become a bit more aware of the faux pas of others.
Post # 15
@MsYankee: not awkward some families make assumptions… I kno mine does
Post # 16
I know its not a huge deal, but it was awkward for my FI who pointed out his name wasn’t on the envelope.
It’s not how our family does things, my aunt (the cousin’s mother) got married last year and everyone was named on the envelopes.
i think it was just a mistake, not that they assumed we would know they we’re invited.
just a lesson learned for me I guess to double check the envelopes before sending!