- 4 years ago
- Wedding: January 2016
Today at work my coworkers were kinda teasing me about my SO. One of them asked me “what was the deal with him (my SO), like ‘why hasn’t he proposed yet especially after the many years you’ve been together’ and also ‘he doesn’t realize what he has.’ Etc etc. Another coworker was around and they were both joking and laughing together like ‘we should call him up’ etc etc. They haven’t even met my SO ever or know anything about him besides that he’s a pharmacist. And then my one coworker explained that she met her husband in May, he proposed 2 months later and got married at the end of the year…all done in 1 year. And that they’ve been married for almost 30 years ever since. Ok, that’s great and wonderful but times have changed and every couple’s circumstances are different. My parents got married 3 months after dating back in the day and my mom got married when she was 23. I’m 24. Anyway, it was as if they tried really hard to make me feel bad about my SO and myself. I didn’t want to have to explain myself and whatnot but I felt like I had to. I said well SO and I met in highschool when we were 17 and we just didn’t think or want to get married so young like that and we were not ready at that time. Not only that but we weren’t ready mentally and financially! Our priorities were to finish college, get our degrees and have stable jobs. I went to nursing school. SO just finished pharmacy school and received his Doctorate degree and I couldn’t be anymore proud of him. So about 7 years of schooling. We rarely had time to be together during college years because we were just very busy with our studies and him earning his doctorate was very demanding. Sure SO could’ve just popped the question while we were in college, even without a ring, but he is very traditional and wanted to be financially stable and save up to purchase my ering and wanted to propose with one, which I was totally ok with and would prefer as well.
I even said to them that SO is planning to propose within the next two months. My one coworker said he better propose on New Years Day and like if he didn’t that’s just terrible…….? Really..? Wth I just don’t understand. I told SO about it after work today and he just shook his head and was really supportive and reassured me to not listen to what others think and that our lives and paths are different from other couples.’ Everyone’s timelines are different that’s for sure. I don’t think it’s right or fair when certain people make you feel like crap because you’re still not engaged after being with someone for x amount of years. If SO and I were to get married at 18 or 19 etc, we wouldn’t have reached our goals in terms of career, we probably wouldn’t have made it through college, we wouldn’t have been financially stable. Let’s face it. SO and I didnt have money to support ourselves when we were younger. Our careers and education were top top top priority on our list when we graduated from high school. And now that we achieved our goal we felt now it was the right time to sit down and talk about getting engaged/ and married. I mean just last year I was whining about SO’s brother getting engaged, but at the time, the timing just wasn’t right for us and now that it finally is we’re really happy and excited. And now in a couple months I will be his fiancée! Just when we’ve finally gotten the ball rolling and gotten into the ering process, this situation at work happens. Just today SO and I made it official to finally choose my setting for my ering and he cried cause he was so happy and excited!!! If someone ever asks me how long I’ve been dating my SO for, I feel like I should just say 4 years instead almost 8…just to dodge their comments making me feel crappy about “omg D: why aren’t you engaged yet?!?” I wouldn’t do this of course but that’s what I feel like right now. Why are some people rude. 🙁 just need to vent here and get it off my chest.