- 10 years ago
- Wedding: November 2008
beehive, i need your advice… yesterday, miss hydrangea posted about her experience with her planner. i could relate to so much of her article (and i have been struggling with the decision of whether or not to drop my planner for quite a while now), that i typed up an email to my planner spouting all of the reasons why i wanted to end our vendor/client relationship. but this morning, i am, as is typical for me, second guessing myself. am i being too harsh? am i expecting too much too soon?
FI and i hired our planner in october after interviewing with 3 different ones. we felt that she was not only in our price range, but that she had a bubbly and upbeat personality that would prove invaluable when i reached my most stressful points in the planning process. she also has several years of experience. she seemed to understand and agree with our expectations of the services that a full service planner should provide. so we put down a deposit (1/3 of our total fee) and signed with her.
she has maintained her friendly and enthusiastic personality, but she has not met my expectations of what i wanted in a planner. when we first met, i expressed to her that i would not have time for appointment scheduling and vendor research, and that i also wanted her to develop the design of our wedding. basically, i wanted to be able to sit back and approve or deny ideas that were presented to me. i knew that i would be very busy at work and would be working late hours at times. a
s time has gone on she has recommended vendors, but none to my liking. when i have supplied examples of the type of work that i am looking for (i.e. artistic photographer as opposed to traditional), she has not been able to come up with anything. i have resorted to researching vendors on my own and providing their contact info to her. she still has yet to sit with me to go over the overall design of the wedding, and we are less than a year away. i would have expected to have a clear vision by this point, so that invites and other stationary, BM dresses, etc. would all coordinate with the overall theme. instead, i have been asked to "be on the lookout" for items that i would like to incorporate into the decor. but i don’t know what to be on the lookout for!
a couple of months back i provided her with some images of various aspects from different weddings that have caught my eye, to hopefully give her an idea of my taste, but still i have not been presented with "here are my ideas of how we can decorate the reception hall, or the ceremony venue, etc…". i could also get into the times that i have emailed her with questions and specifically requested for a phone call to discuss, only to receive an email reply that did not answer the questions that were asked. and the times when i have asked that an appointment be made with a vendor, supplied some dates and times for her to choose, and asked her to book it based on those parameters. i even supplied a calendar pre-filled with my and FI’s availability. well she for some reason still felt the need to re-confirm with me the date and time that i had already confirmed before booking with the vendor! as most of you know, if you don’t finalize the details with the vendor when you are speaking with them, it can only delay the process because you may be playing phone and/or email tag for a bit before you reach them again.
i realize that planners have other brides that they are working with throughout the month, but shouldn’t i have been given some concrete ideas at this point? my wedding is in november of this year.
so, from those of you who have worked with a planner, am i expecting too much too soon? i don’t want to get rid of this planner, only to encounter the same thing with another one whose personality may not be as agreeable. and yes, i have spoken to her on a couple of occasions to let her know that things were not moving at the pace that i would like. she has been receptive to those conversations, but i just feel like i shouldn’t have to constantly have those conversations. and i also feel like she should get the hint when i forward her the response, with "fyi" noted on the top, that i received from a vendor due to my follow-up.
thanks for any advice that you ladies can give!