- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Hi bees! I just wanted to get some perspective on a situation. The entire time we have been dating, my fiancé and I were lucky enough to have a wonderful group of friends. The group consissted of a good mix of guys and girls, and most I have known since college. Several were “couple friends” that we would often go out to dinner with, go out to the movies with, etc… I have really great friendships with a lot of the people in the group, and several will even be in our wedding party.
However, this past November my fiancé was offered a new job in a city about an hour and a half away. We both decided that this was a great opportunity and decided to move (I was able to transfer all of my credits for my master’s program to a closer University). Because of the distance, we don’t get to see our old group of friends very often =(.
Since starting the new job last November, my fi has starting hanging out with a lot of the guys from work. At first I was really glad that he was meeting people and I was excited to start making new friends. After spending a lot of time with these colleagues, I have decided that I REALLY don’t care for them. First of all, I am usually the only girl who hangs out with them. Some of the guys have girlfriends but are in long-distance relationships. Therefore most of the girlfriends are not there on a regular basis. While I usually don’t mind being the only girl, it seems like ALL they want to do is go clubbing. Most of them go out to clubs 4-5 times per week (my fi and I usually join them once or twice at most). While I enjoy going out, this seems a little excessive. My biggest problem with the group is that the guys who have girlfriends openly hit on other girls and are constantly asking for their phone #’s and such. This makes me sick. It also makes me think that we would never have “couple friends” because it would bother me to know that the guys were treating their girlfriends like that. While my fiancé also mentions that this bothers him, he gets along with these guys otherwise and so he wants to continue hanging out with them.
I am not the kind of girl who would ever ask my fi to stop hanging out with people, but how can we keep these friends and keep my sanity??? I feel like I am at a college frat house. I have only been in my graduate program for 2 months, so I am hoping that I can meet some good friends through school.
Just fyi, my fiancé always asks me to go with them, so it’s not like I’m just inviting myself to a guys’ night.