(Closed) Really hurt and upset…ugh (kinda long sorry…)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry.  I think it is realyl rude of her to ask and then just ignore you while adding 8 other bridesmaids.  And the fact that no one told you that your FI was a groomsman?  Geez.  You are right to be upset!

Post # 4
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you need to send that very awkward e-mail now…because if that were me, I would decline to attend (and wouldn’t be too keen on FH attending either!)  That is just NOT COOL.  So…awkward “Hey I thought I was a BM but I’m not on your website, and why is my FI a GM??” email it is…sorry you have to go through this!

Post # 6
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

That’s very strange. I’d feel a bit jilted too if it were me. I would talk to your FI about it 1st and see what he says. More than your friend(s) not saying anything, the fact that your FI didn’t bring it up would bother me more – esp. since it’s obvious she had already asked you.

My 2nd thought is: She just saved you a bundle!!! Think of all the stuff you don’t have to do/buy, etc.

Post # 8
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Umm, that’s incredibly insane and rude. That’s like, awful of her. I mean, jeez, did she think you’d never find out? I would be tempted to not attend the wedding! What does your FI have to say about all of this?

I would call/e-mail her right now and get this thing talked about and out of the way.

Post # 9
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

That seems rather odd. Talk to your FI about it and see if he can shed any light on the situation. If not definitely send over an email to see what’s up. Good luck, and sorry that you’re having to deal with it :0)

Post # 11
Member
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would be upset too. i agree with sending out an email. i would just say hey i knew you had asked me to be in the wedding and i just wanted to m ake sure so i can save money for the BM dress. she what she says if she says oh im sorry we already have a wedding party be like ok thanks just wanted to make sure before i saved money for it!

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’d let her know and say, “hey it woulda been nice if you’d mentioned to me that you couldn’t have me in the wedding” because it’s one thing to be dropped and be understanding (yet sitll pissed) and yet another for her to just think you weren’t gonna notice. I mean, hello!

Save some money on that gift, too, lol. Esp since your FI needs a tux

Post # 14
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

Maybe your FI has no idea you’re not on the website?  Like he thought they added him BECAUSE you’re a BM?  I wouldn’t give him the 3rd degree, he could be under the same assumption you were, that you were supposed to be a BM.

Yeah, if I was asked and then dropped without any notice I’d be pretty petty about the whole thing.  Like signing their guestbook with “F$&* off.”  LOL.  Don’t be me!

Post # 16
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

It’s definitely not FI’s fault, it’s doubtful that he’s secretly “in the know”. Guys really don’t pay attention to this kind of stuff. You have every right to feel this way for getting a run around like this. It’s odd that they’d be passive aggreesive about this kind of stuff. The other bees have taken the words out of my mouth… you should def discuss with FI first and then proceed.

If you don’t mind me asking, has there been any sort of drama between you and the bride since the time that she asked you to be BM? Just curious to see if there is any sort of reasons or somewhat of an explanation for this kind of behavior. Not that what she did was okay in any way…

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