(Closed) Really hurt feelings…[kinda long, sorry]

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Dizzy, I’m so sorry. The only family at my wedding was one cousin, because my whole family is a miserable lot of people (minus that one cousin). It’s best if they’re not there, really. I didn’t have to worry about them ruining my wedding day. It still hurts, I know, but take comfort in the fact that what your mom says ISN’T true, and you will be able to enjoy your day, drama free.

Post # 5
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Hey,
Sorry you’re going through this… It’s hard not to have support from your own family. Maybe your mother had a fancy wedding, but your wedding will reflect who you are as a couple, and more important, it’s your relationship and your union to your wonderful FI that you’re celebrating; the creation of a new family that will  be rock solid. That’s fancier than anything else.
Enjoy your day and all the rest.

Post # 6
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

It is like a book really.. getting married is just another chapter.. it doesn’t have to be very interesting (fancy) to caught a reader.. but it is how it is been written and how you would want your readers to know.. with that, I strongly suggest to talk things out with your family and tell them that it is how you want it to be and that their support and understanding is greatly needed.. Initiate something – let them get involved.. Cheers! -Ian

Post # 8
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I hope your family comes to their senses, I’m not quite sure what you mean by “cultish” but it seems they have the wedding more in mind than the marriage. You don’t need money to be happy, you need support, and I hope your SO’s family and your friends can fill the gap…. god knows we don’t get to choose our family! Hugs*

Post # 9
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Im really sorry about your family, that must be so hard! I cant even imagine not having support from your family. Its really none of my business and I dont need to know, but do you even know why they do not like your FI? Is there even any reason, or they just didnt even take the time to get to know him? Do you see any of them eventually coming around or were there always so unsupportive? Either way I hope that you and your FI can find peace with your family. I know that family is really important and everyone hopes to get their families blessing. If they do not want to support you, its good to know you have your FI who seems to be loving and supportive. Also the amount of money you spend on a wedding is not what its all about. Every couple has a different financial situation and that in NO way relects their love. Material things are not what brings a couple happiness. Do not listen to your mom about that, your FI and you will have a beautiful wedding no matter what you spend on it!

Post # 11
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

WOW im sooo sorry about that! Gosh that must be really difficult. I know everyone wants their parents approval. . Family is really important to me and im sure it is to you too. My only advice would be to tell your family how much you care about him and hope they come around. If they dont at the end of the day you cant live your life for your family. You have to do whats right for you and your finace and hope one day they will see how happy he makes you and come around. Try to focus on your relationship with your FI and dont let negativity from your family ruin your wedding. I hope your mom eventually comes around!

Post # 12
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Dizzy, I can only imagine how difficult things must be for you. It sounds like the problems with your mom and the rest of your family go way back, and your relationship with your FI/upcoming marriage is only the latest (maybe most inflammatory) subject to flare up between you.

It seems that you have enough sense not to take what they say seriously. Not that it doesn’t hurt, but you at least know better than to take their comments to heart. Unhappy people spread their unhappiness, the same way that happy people like to spread joy.

You are probably going to have to make the same tough decision that Layla did and decide whether it’s worth allowing these people into your life if it means dealing with all of their baggage. Not pleasant, I know, but you are an adult and have the power to cut negative people out of your life.

Good luck, sweetie.

Post # 14
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

SO and I have almost 11 years between us and met 6 days after I turned 18. The family was NOT excited. I feel for you… It’s hard for people to understand that a 19 year old and a 29-almost-30 year old can have things in common and enjoy each other’s company. You obviously have an amazing FI if he’s putting up with all this from your family. I wish you guys the best of luck, hang in there! 🙂

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