- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I’m becoming so irritated with my husband lately. We’ve been together over 2 years, been married almost 3 months now. I moved 10 hours away from my family/job due to a required move for his job. We’ve been here 2 months now. I got here & got a crappy job, which I ended up quitting because I was miserable there. Now I’m in-between jobs, but have been looking quite a bit, while looking into going back to school. No friends here yet, none of my family is here. Darling Husband works all day, and I’m usually just at home alone.
I already have my AA, but I really want to at least have my Bachelors degree before we start having kids. Even if I ended up being a Stay-At-Home Mom, I want to have my education there to back me up. Sometimes I wonder how much it matters anymore to have a degree, because I do know a lot of people that have them, and still can’t find work. I haven’t been able to qualify for any grants or scholarships for this semester coming up. The plan for me was to take subsidized loans out for now, and to apply for a scholarship for my next semester. The loans for this semester would be under 5k.
I thought this was an agreement Darling Husband & I came to, seeing as how I’m supposed to go to transfer orientation in 2 days. Now he starts talking to me about it, and says that he doesn’t know if it will be worth the money we will rack up in loans. I get that, I do, but I can’t just make money fall out of the sky to go to school. He suggested me taking 2 classes a semester, which would slow my degree process down significantly. I don’t want to take 4 more years to finish my Bachelors degree. It took me a long time to get my AA because I did things that way. I want to finish my degree so I can move forward, so we can start TTC, and all of that good stuff. I feel like if I don’t finish my degree, I won’t amount to anything. That might sound stupid, but that’s how I feel. & now Darling Husband wants me to “think about it” and figure out whether I think it’s worth it or not. It’s not like I want to go into debt, but I DO want to better myself. I don’t want to work minimum wage jobs forever, I want to establish myself. & to me, I don’t know how else to do that other than going to school.
It just irritates me that he didn’t mention this before, and now I’m feeling like he doesn’t have my back on this. I’ve always been supportive of him with everything he’s done, and it doesn’t seem like he is being supportive of my decisions. Even though I’m not working right now, he has a cooked meal to come home to everyday. When I was working Fulltime & going to school, I still do every bit of the cooking/cleaning. He doesn’t lift a finger for any of it. Not that I mind it – we agreed on it, because he pays the bills, I do the housework. But I feel like he could at least support what I’m trying to do.
I guess I’m getting a little bitter that things are going like this. I’m sure I just sound like a whiny baby, but I feel like I am in a rut and don’t know what to do. Darling Husband just confuses me even more when he goes back & forth.