Post # 1
Ok, this might be a long one. Hang in there 🙂
I got engaged in march, wedding is set for April. We booked the venue. Asked 7 girls and 7 guys to be in our wedding party. I bought my dress (Watters Harmony, love) which will come in in December. Took our engagment photos. Here is the issue: I HATE WEDDING PLANNING. Of course, I have fantasized a million times about my wedding day! But this is so stressful! The colors, the flowers, the food, the favors. Ugh!
Not only are the little details driving me insane, I feel like EVERY vendor I talk to just tries to squeeze my last penny out of me. A minimum for this, maximum for that. It’s insane!
I second guess every move I make because there is just so much to decide on. My fiancé is amazing and so helpful but he’s a guy so…you know 😉 Then today my MOH tells me she is applying for jobs in Europe and wants to move in a month. She will be on a completely different wavelength! Trust me, that’s an amazing opportunity and I’m elated for her, but she is my go-to! Lol.
There are so many other things I could write but I cant believe how whiny I sound already! Ew 🙁 im not even a stressed out person, i think im just having a breakdown today lol!! can someone help me? Is this normal?
I thought I wanted the big production, but I just want to marry my man! We have talked about canceling and spending the money on an amazing vacation and getting married, just the two of us, but I think it will break my heart to not have my family and my best friends there to witness. My dad already told me he would be heartbroken not walking his only daughter down the isle, and i would be too! i do want the tradition. I just don’t know what to do About my wedding!
Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. Thank you, ladies!
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
If you’re already this stressed out this early in planning then eloping is a great choice. I would love to skip the whole wedding production and elope but my FI desperately wants a wedding with friends and family present.
It sounds like you would regret eloping so try to scale back or hire a coordinator to help take some of the stress off planning.
Post # 4
Would it be possible to go away with a small handful of friends and family so that way you can get the best of both worlds?
Post # 5
@Mick26: When the planning becomes overwhelming and its your desire to be as one, without the huge details, etc I say elope…go have a vacation and come back and move into the next chapeter of your life
I had the 20,000+ wedding plan, but I scraped it because it was just to much, we are going to vegas in October spending roughly 6,000-7,000 for wedding and honeymoon and we will be at peace!!!
We wont have to worry about to no shows, the attutides the vendors, the hiccups along the way etc
Post # 6
@beachbride1216: lol that makes me feel better you feel the same! 🙂 thanks for your advice!!
@mrs_pudding_pop: thankyou!! I have thought of that, it sounds amazing. I guess I’m just nervous because we already have such a lage wedding party, I feel like there would be obligations/pressure to invite everyone and they would feel obligated to come! I dont want to Inconvenience anyone ….Can you tell im a people pleaser?? Haha
@anna.mariebrickhousetobe: that sounds awesome, and stress free 🙂
Post # 7
You could always do a small destination wedding with just your closest family and friends! The Carribean/Hawaiian ones do 90% of the planning work for you!
Post # 8
8 months before our planned wedding date (with a guest list around 300) we said eff it and got back most of our money. 7 months later we had 11 people at our ceremony in Paris and it was awesome!! I can’t believe we didn’t think of it sooner!
Honestly, planning a big wedding was one of the worst experiences of my life. I’m glad I didn’t have to do another 8 months of it. And it’s not even the planning that’s bad, it’s just PEOPLE. I don’t know what it is about weddings that brings out the worst in everyone.
The most stress I had planning the little wedding was how to get my dress on the plane. I kept the big dress I bought for the big ceremony instead of losing the deposit and I refused to part with it on the way there, but the flight crew was really accomodating once they found out what was in my enormous bag.
Post # 9
@Mick26: If eloping is what you want then do it! I planned a big wedding and due to life we went to the JOP. We still want that wedding but everyone is different! Some sign papers and then have a wedding. Some start a family together and then get married. Some never have a celebration and elope! Do what feels right with you to because everyon deserves a chance to work for what they want! You deserve the wedding you want and if money hasn’t been spent then go ahead and elope! Just make sure you talk about it because once it is done it is hard to be socially accepted to have the wedding in April still.
You will figure it out 🙂 No worries darlin because you will both get what you work for (even if you are just working to elope without judgement)
Post # 10
Our wedding and reception is going to be small (35 people or less) and its still stressful for me! I wanted to elope but FI wasn’t having it. As small as it is, its still a lot of stress for me so I know what you mean.
Post # 11
@Mick26: Because it’s so important for your family (and I can relate, my oldest child is getting near that stage, and I can’t imagine missing her wedding) do not elope!
Instead, cut down your wedding. The absolute mimimum would be a family-only wedding: only the two immediate families, plus any surviving grandparents. Because they’re the people who the wedding is most important to. That’s probably about 20 people. So have a small wedding, and then as the reception just go out to dinner! you can get a private room at a restaurant.
Or go slightly bigger. Include closest friends, making it maybe 40-50 people. But get rid of the huge bridal parties.
You can do it! A wedding doesn’t need to be big! Once you cut it down like that, it’s just a night out, or a medium sized party. You don’t need favours and centrepieces and matching tablecloths and all that cr*p! All you need is a celebrant, a dress for you and a suit for your husband, a photographer, a place to have a meal and drink afterwards… and those nearest and dearest to celebrate with you.
Post # 12
@Mick26: I think you should stick with your wedding plans! I know it may be stressful, but your date is less than a year away now and you have your venue booked.
If I were you I would just try to plan things more simply: e.g. no save the dates, only invite close family and friends, ask bridesmaids or even your mum to help you with planning so that there is less stress. If you are in a hurry to get married, could you push your date forward a little?
Post # 13
Could you have a really small and intimate wedding instead?
Post # 14
@Mick26: Yes I am all for the destination wedding with a handful of small friends and family. I would get the people i wanted the most (mom, dad, siblings, best friend) and do an open invitation to anyone else. Like “hey we are getting married here, if you can join us we would love to have you” and then throw a reception when you get back. You wont have to focus so much on all the small details because its more like a big party rather than a formal fancy wedding reception. You can do it in a backyard or rent a banquet room with minimal decorations.
Everyday I think I am starting to drift away from the huge fluff of the big wedding day and all the minor details that people keep telling me “no one will remember in 10 years” I think just a handful of people somwhere beautiful could be the more stress free, intimate, beautiful option.
Post # 15
@leisha606: Please please please just have a DW with close fam and friends (open invitation). They take care of all that stuff for you. You just pick a color and enjoy your stay. Check out this website:
Post # 16
You ladies are the best 🙂 thank you for your wonderful and helpful advice!!! a wedding is really about marrying the person you love, although it is soo hard to NOT get caught up in making a production out of the day! Oh, to add to the stress of planning, my wedding coordinator at our venue who I’ve been working really closely with called me today– she’s leaving and has a replacement. LOL I just have to laugh at that one.