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this may be incredibly ignorant on my part, but how does getting married qualify you for more financial aid?
I voted to take the loan (as it'd be a small one of 500 or so, right?). If you don't have any debt at all from school, 500-1K is really a pretty low debt to have.
But, would it be at all possible to pick up a waitressing gig one or two nights a week? You could easily make the 500 in 3 months, even at a low-tipping location. Some small part-time job like that could generally bring in this amount of money, even if it's only 1 or 2 nights a week. 11 shifts at just a plain min. wage job should bring in the $500 needed. Hotel desk job at night is a good time to do homework/study but still get paid. I'd explore your options.
Ouch, that sucks. My mom lost her job the day after my wedding so I can sympathize. If it were me, I would get legally married now and get the aid. I don't see the point into going into debt when you can avoid and it would be beneficial in the long run.
now, back to your question, i would do Option 3- postpone the wedding until you can save up a little more. talk to your vendors, explain the situation, and see if they'd be willing to apply your deposits to a new date. however, with a budget of $500 for the entire wedding, i can't imagine you have too many vendors, so you may not even need to talk to anyone...just postpone!
@NeedOpinion: I'm a graduate student, also doing the whole finishing school and paying for a wedding thing, so I feel your pain. It's tough.
You didn't say whether the financial aid from your school is in the form of grants or loans. Assuming it would be a bit of both, I think that getting married just to get the student aid is a much bigger deal/hassle than just taking out a short-term loan to pay for the wedding. Normally, like most people, I wouldn't advise taking on debt for a wedding, but you say you have managed to make it through school debt-free, that you are frugal, and that your wedding budget is modest, so the loan would not be so large that you would have trouble paying it off.
In the long run, you will have only taken on some short-term debt to finance the wedding, while still being able to get married in the way you originally planned. And you have a good reason: you mom losing her job isn't something you could have planned for.
Whatever you decide, good luck!
A friend of mine ended up having to postpone her wedding. She talked to all her vendors that she had already paid and even though they would not refund her the money, they did allow her to postpone the date a full year and just applied what she had paid towards the new date.
This may be an option for you. I would talk to your vendors. See if this is an option. That way you dont "lose" any money but you now have a full year to save up and prepare for it without going into debt over it.
Also, it would probably really relieve your parents since I am sure they are feeling guilty and heartbroken they cant help you now.
@Mrs. Meowerson: Since we are under 24, we are considered "dependent" to the government...even though neither of us get help from our parents. And if your family makes over 20,000 a year then you can't get financial aid. The only way you're considered an independent is if you're over 24, married, or your parents died. It's fine to ask, I had no idea about all of this either.
I mean most people go to the courthouse a few days or weeks before and get the legal aspect of the marriage licence done anyways, I don't think it would matter much if you do it now.
The loan isn't that much money, so that is reasonable.
Its up to you and your FI !
@NeedOpinion: I assume that you mean 200,000 instead of 20,000? My parents made over 50k, and I got a lot of financial aid in college. One thing you might want to look into is talking to your college's financial aid office and notifying them about your mom's job loss. Sometimes those types of extenuating circumstances can affect your financial aid package.
Personally, if the loan were only going to be 500 dollars (half of your max budget) and I had no other debt, I would take out a small loan.
@bunnees: Nope. After the new government election and in my state/at my school- it is 20,000 dollars. Which sucks. They're making it very difficult for a lot of people who really need it to get aid.
Thanks for everyone's advice so far. I have no idea what we're going to do still. My FI wants to get married earlier, mainly because he is just extremely excited to get married, and he doesn't want me to have to take on debt of any amount if I do not need it.
I feel so awful for my mom...she was just 2 years away from retirement, and they just ripped it out from under her. I know how much they're looking forward to the wedding this November. I don't want to cancel it or postpone it...
@NDBee: I've been applying for jobs for awhile... I would love a waitressing job, but my town has almost 100,000 students all looking for jobs that can be flexible with their school schedule (just like me), so no one is hiring :(
I feel you on the financial aid. Next year, I turn 25 and we get married, so I am so excited. I have been filing taxes as an independent for four years, but that doesn't matter on the FAFSA and I think it should. Also, my dad passed away four years ago, but I was told because of how much my mom's net worth is, I don't qualify for anything. I feel like I've been punished for not having a baby or getting married before I am ready....I mean I understand why single mothers get assistance, but it still feels a bit like that sometimes.
I think that you could wait the three months and get the loan. Pay it back as fast as you can. Sounds like you are very determined, so I am sure you can do this!!
I agree with Shiner! You sound like you are very good with your money and are determined! You could pay back the small loan in no time.
As for school, I'm in the same situation! My parents have 3 of their children in school & me & my brother do not get any grants! Which is really ridiculous! (my sister gets aid because she has a baby, so she doesn't have to include my parents income). Next March I'm going to turn 24 & I'm getting married in April. lol soo, I guess it's a win-win?! I will have 1 year left of school by next year, but getting aid for 1 year is better than none.
I would take out a signature loan for the rest of the amount, not more than what you were already planning, but you could probably get one and the payments wouldn't be too much on $500
I think you should talk with your vendors and/or take out a small loan. It sounds like you are really diligent with your money and would have that paid off in no time. (Is there any way you could take a job for the holidays to pay off the loan? Not sure of your schedule but stores tend to hire extra help during the holiday season so perhaps that would help balance things out -- just brainstorming for ya.) Even if you applied for financial aid as a couple, isn't that a lot of paperwork to go through? Would those funds come in time for your wedding? Is it even guaranteed that would go through for you? Seems like way too many variables and hands for papers to pass through whereas the loan would be quicker. What do you think?
Call me crazy, but I would do option 2 and take out a loan. You say that so far, you are debt free. The crazy part is this: Throw a big party. Your parents need something wonderful to look forward to. I would not even tell them how you are paying for the wedding. Just do it.
I have run out of fingers to count the times my husband and I have hit a financial road block. We always make it through. As long as you are together and can brainstorm together, you will make it through, also.
What type of loan do you qualify for, do you think? I would think borrowing 1-2K is not outrageous.
My first instinct was to tell you to do option one, and not tell anyone so that you can have school paid for and pay for the wedding without debt.
However, if you are good with money and are comfortable with a small loan, then you could do that. I know if I were you I'd rather get married legally, but that might just be because that is something FI and I tossed around for a while ourselves.
Good luck though, and no matter what you choose, do what @Just_Squeeze: said and throw a big party! Your parents need it, and sounds like you could use a good time, too.
@NeedOpinion: I'm not sure all of this is true, unless its new laws. I have been independent of my parents since I was 21, and even though I lived with them, I wasn't listed on their taxes as a dependent, so I did not have to put their income. If I did, there was no way that I would have gotten financial aid. I am 27 now, and got student loans from 21 to 25 when i was in my last year.
I think depending on a state you can go out and proclaim your own independancy from parents - i forgot what it's called but you can look into that, it has nothing to do with being married or your parents dying either.
I would probably take out a loan in your situation. We had a similar situation, my future father in law lost his job recently and we have been swamped with his bills a few months before the wedding and now we are barely scraping by last minute, so we took out a loan. If anything it will make your mother feel better that she did not take away from your special day. Maybe it's something that you actually need to forget about the worries for a while.
I voted for a loan, which I am normally against but you have zero student loan debt and sound like you would only take out what you need and pay it back asap. How does your FI feel about taking a loan out? It would be him taking it out since he has a job right?
Given the precarious financial situation, I'm totally against the loan option.
I don't want to be too forward, but how much is left to pay for the wedding? I know you said half, but then your budget was $500-$1,000. Is it $500 left to pay for?
I had the same experience as NeedOpinion - even though I haven't been claimed as a dependent for taxes since I turned 18, in undergrad I was not considered independent for financial aid purposes unless I was 24, a graduate student, married, supporting a child, or a couple other minor qualifiers. I even called to see if I could get around it somehow, because my dad flat out refused to provide his income so that I could even apply for financial aid.
I voted get the aid from school because any school loans, etc you take out will have much lower interest rates than a normal loan, and you also usually don't have to start paying them off until you graduate.
@MrsSl82be: As crazy as it sounds, it is true in some states. I had the same issue when I was going to school. I had been 100% independent from my family since I turned 18 and my parents no longer claimed me on their taxes. BUT because I was under 24 it literally didn't matter to the government. I ended up having to drop out of school for a while because my parents don't believe college (yes, I know, even more crazy) and refused to give me their income info for my application. I don't know how many states do this, but it's HORRIBLE for people who are not reliant on their family's money. For the longest time I wished I was pregnant just so I had a way to pay for school.
I voted take out a small loan. I'm a supporter of zero debt and the house I bought this year has been my only exception to that policy. But you're looking at taking out such a small loan, I can't see it hurting anything. You sound very smart when it comes to your finances and this is a special event. It's not like you're taking out 10K. Personally, I'd get the loan.
@NeedOpinion
Firstly - you sound like an amazing daughter! Your parents obviously did a great job raising someone so responsible and caring toward others. Good for you for paying your own way through school - as others have noted, you are obviously very financially responsible and have a realistic outlook on life.
So - my vote is to take the loan. You have worked really hard to get yourself through school. You obviously will continue to work hard to pay back the loan over time, and you can certainly find lines of credit with low interest rates, which would be much better than using a credit card.
And don't forget that many people give monetary gifts as a wedding gift, so you may be able to pay back that loan faster than you thought!
Good luck to you! I hope you have a wonderful wedding!
@MrsSl82be: Hm, you must have had different circumstances, because the FAFSA's rules are national. baliahi1029 is right about the qualifications for listing yourself as independent on the FAFSA.
I completely understand the issue with aid AND the issue with finding a job. I'm 20 and one of the things I'm really looking forward to is claiming independence on the FAFSA next year! So much more aid. I get almost nothing right now. I voted that you should get legally married now. You'll get grants and possibly a work study grant that would help you find a job as well.
Also, I understand how hard it is to find a job. My univ. has 40000 students, and with all of them looking for part time jobs, it's so hard to find one. Even the burger flipping jobs have literally hundreds of applicants. It's not what you know, it's who you know- that has never been more evident than on my campus.
ETA: As far as taking a loan, I'm sure you are very responsible and would take out a small amount and work hard to pay it off quickly. But why spend your own money and pay interest, when you could qualify for free government money now? I apologize if I sound horrible for saying that, but I'm paying my way through college too, and when the government gives so little aid to some of us who need it, I'm all for getting what you can.
@NeedOpinion: Do you live on your own and have you for a while? I moved out young and my parents never claimed me on their taxes, so I petitioned to be considered independent in undergrad and got it. Maybe you can give that a shot? I just had to provide lease agreements and whatnot proving I had been independent.
@NeedOpinion: I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Honestly, I keep going back and forth and think both are viable options. You need to do what feels right to you, there isn't a clear cut right answer here.
@MrsSl82be: FAFSA is not on the state level, it's federal, though states do use the information from it to dole out aid. It's possible that you got loans if you're parents incomes were low enough but you certainley weren't considered independent if you weren't married or a single mother. It's also possible that they were private loans, which have very different qualification rules.
It's terrible. I lived in a completely different state from my parents, working on my own with them not contributing a cent and I couldn't afford to continue my enrollment in school because my family made too much money. I actually spoke with a lawyer who said that I could file for emancipation, but it would take quite a bit of money and time. At times I felt the same way as Shiner. It's very frustrating to be struggling financially, doing the right thing and then feel as if you're being punished for not being married or having a child at 19.
@NeedOpinion:Maybe things have changed in the five years since I graduated, but getting married now wouldn't necessarily change your eligibility for grants this year. I mean, it may change your eligibility but it might not mean that you get anything at all. Need-based grants are awarded on a first-come first-served basis, which is why people are encouraged to fill out their FAFSA and apply at the beginning of the calendar year (not the school year).
I wouldn't take out a loan, even a small one. As you've seen with your mom's recent misfortunes and your own trouble finding a job, the economy sucks right now, and I think you'll regret having to pay back a loan you used to have a party. I vote for 'other'. Get married at the courthouse now, or postpone (even if you lose out on deposits).
Thank you so much for all of your replies, again. It took me awhile to be able to get back to you as I've had to drive across 3 states today!
We would be taking *somewhat* of a gamble by getting married early, and taking the chance that we may not get the paperwork done in time. We are going to meet with the financial aid office on Monday to discuss the dates/deadlines.
I am leaning towards taking out a loan at the moment- My FI really does not want me to do that though. Even if it was only $500, thats $500 we didn't have in debt before. It also scares me because as one bee brought up, my uncertain financial situation is not ideal for loans at this time.
We have paid roughly $400 towards the wedding so far. What is left to be paid for is food, flowers, and a few more decor items. We are DIYing so that is how we are keeping this so cheap. Also, we have MANY people contributing their talents and time to help make our wedding a reality with such a small budget.
Thank you for all of your support and kind words. I talked to my sister today and she said my mom has been keeping her mind off her job by doing little projects for the wedding most of the day. It would break her heart for me to cancel or postpone my November wedding- and I know, no matter how much I would try to tell her otherwise, that it would make her feel guilty because she would feel as if she let me down. I love my mother so much and am so grateful for the life she gave me, I don't feel obligated to one more cent from them. I am an adult, If I want a wedding I can find a way to pay for it...
I completely know what you bees are talking about when you say it sucks to not qualify for aid because we are not married or a parent under 24- I hate it!
Sorry this was so long...and I still didn't get to respond to everyone 
SO i completely understand the FASA situation. And my mand and I actually got married in march for health insurance purposes (he's self employed and it was driving me nuts not having health insurance for him, so we got married so he could get my benefits). It maid a huge difference with the FAFSA!
I felt for me personally that heading to the courthouse was ok, and i truly dont feel it was anything special (actually is was so crappy it was mortinfying.. it made me feel terrible for people who never have an actual wedding). I am doing the whole big ceremony 10/15/11 and only a select few people know we already tied the knot.
But honestly although we are legally married... it didnt feel like it. No one was there (we paid for a court witness, and there was no mention of GOD or anything religious so it really just felt fake. I know we wont feel really married until we say our vows infront of our family friends and God as witnesses.
Its really a personal decision. But dont go into debt over a wedding... its only one day! Debt lasts a hel of a lot longer, and causes way more problems.
You didn't mention it, but is there any chance you'd be able to talk to FI's parents to see if they are willing to contribute? Normally I dislike asking and we haven't asked my FI's parents, but I think it's different when some catastrophic situation occurs.
Is there a chance that with your mom's job loss, you could get the school to reconsider your financial aid situation (even if she made more in the beginning of the year)?
You may not be able to get a job waitressing, but perhaps you could babysit? I lean towards option 2, because I think you're motivated enough to pay it off quickly and it's the only debt you'd have. I'm also some leery that you'd be able to get the financial aid after being married - I know folks who have had lots of issues on getting financial aid they are entitled to. I myself had a long discussion with my own grad school financial aid when they withdrew all aid a few days before I was to start and it was too late to switch to another school. (I got it back for the year, but not going forward, even though they were the ones to create the problem.)
@kay01: Good idea about talking to the FI's parents.
Would it be possible to borrow the $500 through your FI's parents and pay them back? Maybe they wouldn't charge interest, it could just be a clean loan of money and you can pay them back as you can....small or big chunks when you can. It might be a pain to be in debt to your FIL's, but it might beat going to a bank and going through THAT loan process. That way you can keep your date, not have a 'loan' in the traditional sense, and not pay to get married early.
I skimmed this, so I'm not sure if someone pointed this out, but the FAFSA takes your information from you last tax year. Since you weren't married by December 31, 2010, I'm not sure being married would help much. Check and see if you guys can still file independent even if you weren't married in 2010.
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Ok so my FI and I are both broke. Like really broke. My mother and father planned on paying for the wedding- but we had a VERY strict budget (understandably, they we having money issues too) of 500-1000 dollars. This sounds unthinkable, but we were making it work. We were so very grateful for their contributions.
So now we are 3 months from the wedding, and it is about half way paid for. I can't find a job, we can't change the date because everything has been booked and paid, and I don't want to lose their money that they have already paid. Here is the issue:
My mom lost her job on Monday. She was laid off. This was HORRIBLE for my family- as my dad's business has not been doing well and her 50k a year was what was keeping us afloat. I'm just worried because my baby sister is still in highschool, and obviously they have to worry about keeping her OK without any income.
Naturally, we will not ask them to pay another dime towards the wedding. I feel awful as it is for even having it at this time. However, as I said before....I have no idea how my FI and I are going to pay for the rest of it. Except for 2 ideas:
1) We could get legally married this month, and then we would be able to apply for financial aid through our schools. As of right now, all of our (FI's) earned money is going towards tuition, rent and books( We are finishing up school). If we get married, we will be able to qualify for aid that will help us pay for the school related stuff, and his income from his job would be able to go towards the rest of the wedding. We would have the traditional wedding still in November.
OR
2) I can take out a loan just to pay for the rest of the wedding. I have made it through school without ANY debt and would hate to do this. I have worked very hard for my scholarships to help me get through school. And I do not live luxuriously by any means.
My question is.....what do I do!? Which is the most logical choice? I am in desperate need of advice. Please help me bees...