- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I have made posts before about how negative my mom is, but its getting so much worse and it came to a head at my bridal shower, which is the LAST thing I wanted!
This might be long, and I appologize in advance. But my mom is the most negative person I have ever seen in my life. She is never happy, always blaming others for her “problems” etc. etc. She’s also always really rude to me and doesn’t seem to care or even notice. She says anything she wants to me without caring about how it makes me feel. My bridal shower was yesterday, and the night before she was being extremely rude and I was trying to hold back the tears.
When me and Fiance started planning we were going to pay for everything ourselves. We went and got estimates on rental and food and my mom asked how much (all together its about $5,000). She offered to pay for it, no not even offering, she insisted! We said that we would take care of it, and she just wouldn’t have any of it, so we let her pay for is as I am her youngests and she wanted to pay for my wedding and give me the wedding that I wanted. Well, the night before my shower we go to the craft store to buy candles and a few other wedding accessories, and she seems to feel the need to make it VERY clear to me as to how much she has spent on this wedding so far. She was making me feel so terrible about how much she’s paid, making me feel like it was too much, when she offered, saying how it was ridiculous, etc. and I was trying so hard not to cry.
She didn’t have to pay for anything! But as soon as we pulled out our wallets to pay for wedding expenses she would shove us away and pay for it herself, without us asking. But now, she is holding it over my head and I’m just about to break. On top of that, I am very very appreciative and so so thankful that she is doing this. I tell her that all the time, and so does my Fiance and she doesn’t believe us. At all. She’s like, “yeah right”, and this made an appearance at my bridal shower yesterday.
At my bridal shower: she had followed my Fiance there since it was an hour away. The invite came with directions on how to get there, but she didnt need them since she was following us. When we got to the shower she was complaining to everyone about how if she would have came by herself she would have gotten lost because” the directions said 29.2 miles and it was actually 33miles”. seriously? It didn’t matter, she was there. So I kindly and jokingly said, “Well we’re here now, that’s all that matters” and she yelled “Get away from me, you’ve been biting my head off all morning”. when I hadnt. I hadn’t talked to her at all that morning. And this was the first time my FI’s family had met my mom, and she does that. I was so embarrassed and hurt, because I didn’t deserve it, and I was praying with all my heart that she wouldn’t have do anything like that at my shower.
She also made a comment when I was opening my gifts. She said, “they say they really appreciate everything I do, but it’s hardly the case” in front of everyone. Future Mother-In-Law was appaled afterwards, and told my Fiance that night that it was unfortunate that she is like that and that I have to deal with it.
I really don’t know why she felt the need to ruin my shower and make me cry, and be extremely unthankful and rude to me. I’m just so afraid that she is going to do something like this on my wedding day. 🙁
I just don’t know how to handle it anymore. I’m trying so hard to be excited for my wedding, but she is making it so difficult, and I can’t get away because I live with her. My Fiance also isn’t being the best. He’s been fighting with me a couple of nights about nothing, and keeping me up crying while he passes out and goes to bed after he says that I do something wrong. I just don’t know how to feel right now.
I just really need some support. I feel so alone right now, and I shouldnt, I just wish that I could be happy. :'(
And I’m sorry this was so long, I just needed to get it off my chest.