Really rude request!! Annoyed vent…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
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  • Post # 2
    Member
    42510 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    crisy003:  She’s immature. you may have to be more direct in your communication.

    “Sorry ____, we are unabe to invite you. We are having a small wedding.”

    Post # 3
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Some people really do make some bizarre requests! I think if she is closer to your FI you should ask him what he wants to do. If you can cope with losing her friendship entirely then I wouldn’t invite her. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    This child has no boundaries. Ignore her. She is not your family and not yours or your FI’s friend, so you have no obligation to even consider her as part of the guest list. If she complains when she doesn’t get an invite, then just explain it’s an intimate wedding, close friends and family only.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2163 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    That’s definitely ridiculous of her to request. The rest though…sounds like she really likes you and your FI and maybe she believes that you guys are basically family (or she just wishes) but she sounds genuine.

    Post # 6
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee

    I wouldn’t invite her. You’ve tried to be nice, it may be time to be more direct. I get she may really enjoy you and your FI and his family’s company but sometimes there is a line and a point to stop. If you don’t want to give her details, don’t there’s no need for her to know anything you don’t want her to. And if she does hear about wedding details from others and complain about not getting an invite then simply tell her that it’s a small intimate family wedding and you couldn’t invite her. Hopefully she takes that as a mature adult…. guess time will tell. Good Luck. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    6030 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    She’s practically a teenager. Most people are idiots at that age. Just blow it off.

    Post # 9
    Member
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    crisy003:  I would not invite her, and stop replying to her messages. If she considers FI to be ‘family’ then I think he needs to talk with her and sort her out. Some people will only get worse if they aren’t straightened out.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    MrsBlackCat:  +1

    Your FI needs to set the ground rules.  None of this comes off immature- I honestly think she’s just trying to get close to you two, because for whatever reason, she considers your FI family.  And unless your FI has said, “No, I don’t consider you family,” she might not know that.  I actually feel sorry for her.  I think this is a case of her trying to invest in a relationship the other person doesn’t seem want, but hasn’t told her.

    Also, I have to say that there was an event involving free alcohol served to 21 year olds at my college the day before my 21st birthday.  When I first found out about it, I jokingly asked the coordinator to push it back just one day.  It was a joke.  I don’t know if that’s what’s happening here, but I just want to throw that possibility out.

    Post # 11
    Member
    288 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I kind of feel sorry for this girl on one hand, but on the other hand part of your story creeps me out.  Blocked numbers, wanting to come over to your house, etc.  Single White Female much?

     I wonder if she is craving a family like relationship because her own family sucks?  I have a feeling she probably doesn’t know any better so when you do tell her she isn’t invited (don’t blame you based on what you’ve described) I would wear some kid gloves, but be direct.  Sorry Sally, we can only invite our immediate family and our close friends.  Tell your FI siblings not to bring her.  Her feelings are going to be hurt no matter what, but what can you do.  It’s not like you are having a big wedding where she would blend into the crowd.  

    Post # 12
    Member
    3097 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    Is it possible that she was joking? Never been to a wedding where they ID’d. Either way she does sound very clingy/ annoying so hopefully she doesn’t show up. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2429 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Don’t invite her. If she makes both of you miserable, there is no reason for her to be there!

    Post # 14
    Member
    498 posts
    Helper bee

    crisy003:  I think it sounds to me that you need to talk to his sibling and the rest of his family abd explain you simply do not want her there. Explain exactly how you feel And why. Make sure everyone understands she’s not invited and not to bring her. Then put your foot down with this young girl. Be nice butt stern and explain that your nit being rude, but this is a family only event. Thank you for being understanding, but I really only plan on a small intimate family wedding, no other guests. 

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