Post # 1
I don’t know what to do. 3 weeks ago I had the most amazing wedding and then a wonderful honeymoon, and then got to spend Christmas with my new husband and my family in my country in South America.
Now we’re back to our new home… and I can’t stop crying. I just miss my mum so much!
For some quick background, my father passed away when I was 10, and my mum never remarried, so she raised me and my younger brother alone. We’re very, very close. She still lives in South America, and so does my brother, who’s just recently moved to a new city. I haven’t lived with them for 2 years as I moved to the UK for study & work, but my mum ALWAYS comes to visit, sometimes 3 times a year, spending between 2-6 weeks staying with me.
Now, I know she’ll still visit and she plans on renting a flat here for a few months. But it just won’t be the same, because MY house is no longer HER house, and she has said she won’t want to stay with us because we need our privacy. And all I can do is feel horrible that I’m now really leaving her. I now get to share my life with my husband when she has to one to share her life with.
So I can’t stop crying! I just cry all the time. I feel so bad for DH because he’s the sweetest man in the world and he’s been really understanding, but I can’t imagine how horrible is it for him, because it looks like I’m really unhappy to be with him. And it’s not the case, I’m just unhappy to be without her!
I just wanted to vent……. i think the pill i’m on may be making me depressed but i’m reluctant to change without waiting a few weeks to see if i get used to being here……. what should i do??
Post # 3
What should you do? Honey, you should call your mom!!! It’s totally normal and okay to miss her, and it goes to show what a strong and wonderful relationship the two of you have.
Being with your husband now doesn’t mean you can’t still be close to your mom. And I think if you tell your mom (and if your husband tells her) that you’d like her to stay with you when she comes, she’ll probably listen. Although, if she did rent a flat nearby, you would still get to spend a bunch of time together, because the purpose of her visit would still be to see you.
Call your mom, have a good cry, eat some chocolate, and try to get some sleep – that’s my advice. It’ll turn out okay – I know it sounds cliche, but you’re upset because there’s too much love in your life, so how could that turn out wrong?
Post # 4
Aww, so sorry you are depressed and missing your mom! Are there some activities you can do to help cheer you up? Maybe start something new to help occupy your time/mind a little? I’m sure your husband understands and realizes you simply miss your mom. Maybe you can plan the next time you’ll see each other so that will help you to feel better? It sounds like you just need some time to adjust to your new life with your husband. It sounds totally normal and I’m sure many women go through this!
Have you only been on the pill for a short while? That definitely could be causing the depression. If you don’t feel better soon, call your doctor!! ((Hugs)) 🙂
Post # 5
Totally normal to miss your mum! I’m sure you’re very excited to start your new life with your DH, but it’s also a transition. Sometimes those life transitions can leave us feeling a little blue and wistful. Like PP said, give your mum a call! 🙂
Post # 6
Aww I am really sorry your going throught his! Call your Mom! That is what she is there for. Marriage doesn’t have to change your relationship with your mom. You need to stress to your mom that she is welcome in your home anytime and you should really try talking it out with a therapist, it helps a lot.
I had a hard adjustment leaving my family and this is so silly. I never really LEFT! ha. I had been living on my own for about 2 years when I got married, and I literally live 10 mins away and still do! However, when I got married, I was thrilled to be with my DH but I had this sadness and I missed my family, I am the youngest and the last to get married so I think I felt like I was leaving my family behind. I actually see a therapist and I brought it up with her, because I too was getting sad and anxious over it. She said it’s pretty normal if your close with your family to look at marriage as letting go even though your really not. And she said my relationship with my family doesn’t need to change becaue of a husband, if anything it will strengthen your relationship and I have to say it really has. My mom and I chat on the phone about what new things I am going to cook my husband or we chat about the different projects we are doing around the house. It’s fun talk!
Post # 7
You’re just having a case of the away-from-homes. It’s not the pill making you depressed, it’s just a change in situation. You miss your mom, that’s all. I went through that when I went away to college and then i got over it as time went on and i realized i was growing up. It’ll pass, but in the meantime, give her a call or skype with her.
Post # 8
It’s normal. I missed my parents so much when I went to college. Just give her a call!
Post # 9
It’s okay! It gets better in time, and I have to say that I was the same way when I moved out of my parents’ house this past summer too. I would cry about anything, and whenever my parents would call, I would always be envious of what they were doing. I found it really helpful to talk to my husband about what was going on and why I was so sad. He was there to support me and we really talked through it.
Post # 10
It’s also TOTALLY normal to get the post-wedding blues. You spend a ton of time being the center of attention, planning all these special events, then you get to have a great wedding, a fabulous vacation, and a good holiday with family. Then you get to just… come home? Ugh. I think we can all relate to that on some level. What you are feeling is totally normal – you are not alone. Honey, call your mom. Nothing makes me feel better than a nice heart-to-heart with my mom. :o)
Post # 11
Thanks for your replies everyone…… I feel better now, knowing i’m not the only one…
what makes it worse, i think, is that she and my brother are actually here in the UK now, spending new year’s, and are going home on Monday…. so it’s just like this slow and never ending “goodbye”…. which i know is not goodbye, it just feels like it!
they came over to my flat for dinner the other day (they’re staying at a hotel nearby) and it was so weird, having her there as a guest! i guess it’ll just take some getting used to…..
i just wish nothing ever had to change!!!!