Really unsure about what to do regarding wedding – very conflicted

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
42135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

OrchidsandCandles:  If the alternative to having a big wedding is to have a registry wedding, small dinner, then a large reception later on, how would you save money?

You would still be paying for a venue, decor, food and beverages for all of your guests, plus paying for the dinner after the registry wedding.

Post # 4
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

In your place since your mum is paying and happy to do so, I would have the bigger wedding. If you’re still having a big reception it won’t be too different (although obviously a bit harder to organise!) to a big ceremony plus reception. It sounds like your mum wants the money for a wedding for you and for that money to not be used just for a deposit. My dad gave me similar requirements for his contribution and we’re grateful because it allows us to have a nicer wedding and help us save our own money for a house. It’s hard to accept different priorities especially when you need something as huge as a house deposit, but I think the respectful thing to do is used your mums money in the way she wants. 

Post # 5
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I wouldn’t feel bad about your mum paying for it so long as they aren’t going into debt over it.  Be gracious to her and accept and have the original sort of wedding rather than the registry office if that’s what you really want and it will make your parents happy.  Win win!

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