Really upset and no idea what to do(sorry long)

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

What kind of drugs is she doing?? Your reaction was strong, but I get it as I have a sister who dabbles and it scares the hell outta me. If it were just occasional marijuana I’d be a little less concerned but I strongly suspect its not.

At any rate, she was my obligatory MOH and I wish I hadn’t asked her to do so. She didn’t help me out with anything at all, parties, planning, NOTHING. She was totally selfish and self serving throughout the whole process and even made a drunken fool of heself at the grooms dinner and actual wedding. 

I’m not mad at her though, if anything I’ve learned that’s she’s worse than I previously thought and I’m so sad and disappointed.. And worried!! I really regret putting her in a position where she was so visible to our guests, my friends, and In-Laws.. That is my fault..

anyway – talk to your sister, don’t lash out and try and figure out what and why she is using.. If its serious she needs your support, not your shunning.

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

When is your wedding?

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@anonymous4012:  I was hoping our wedding was a 2015 wedding or a 2016 wedding, and that maybe she was blowing it off because it was so far away!

But June 2014 is getting pretty close! So I’m sorry she’s being a non-supportive jerk.

My sister’s been dating a “dealer” for the last 5 years. It’s horrible and I hate it! So I’m sorry you’re RELATED to that mess!

As far as her friend, I’d make it ABUNDANTLY clear when invites go out that her friend is NOT invited. Hopefully it was a drunk invite and no one even remembers it!

Post # 8
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@anonymous4012:  If I were you I would reach out to her and apppgize for your reaction. Let her know that you are just concerned for her wellbeing and that you are coming from a place of love. I don’t smoke marijauna at this point in my life but my Mom and Sister both do..  Im okay with it being done recreationally or even medicinally, but habitual users kind of ick me out so I don’t really associate with them..

If i were you i would Just call her and talk to her without judgment – keep in mind that in this world here are far worse things that she could partake in.  

This is just my 2c

 

Post # 9
Member
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I just saw the part about the shrooms – GROSS! I’ve done them in the past (I was exposed to a lot of things thanks to a gross ex myself) and they are horrid! I don’t care what anybody says about them being natural – they ARE damaging and take their toll on somebody’s brain / body. My tolerance of that stuff is absolutely zero. Imagine my horror last year when my mom was talking about how she wanted to try them for the first time and she was thinking about getting it from / doing it with my sister!!??!! 

Anyway.. how old is your sister?? As a mom of two with a hubby she seems a little old to be doing that stuff, IMO. What about her husband? What’s his stance?

Post # 11
Member
9532 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

So the drugs and the lack of wedding excitement are totally separate issues.

As far as your sister’s lack of enthusiasm about your wedding, it sucks, but I think you just have to deal with it. You can’t force her to be excited and want to help. Luckily, it sounds like you’ve got a supportive sister and mother, so I’d just leave wedding talk to them and not bother your sister about it.

As far as the drug use goes, I think that you can express your concerns and lt her know that you can’t condone anything happening around you. But then you have to let her be an adult and make her own decisions. Unless she is endangering her daughter, I don’t think you can make her stop the drugs. She has to be the one to want to stop.

Sorry that doesn’t sound too helpful, but I would try to just not let her get to you. If she doesn’t get all OMG about your dress, it’s not the end of the world. Just set your expectations for her low and then you don’t have to be disapointed. And there are plenty of bees that can share in your excitement!

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