Really weird feelings during his deployment.

posted 3 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@NaijaPuertoDorian:  I’m so sorry for your loss.

I wish you the best of luck and I’m sure you’ll figure things out.

I don’t think it’s that you don’t love your husband or not want to be with him. You had a big death in your family and everyone reacts differently.

So don’t beat yourself up over it.

Post # 4
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@NaijaPuertoDorian:  My husband is not in the military but at least once a year he’s away for several weeks (if everything works out he’ll leave for a month 2 days after we return from our honeymoon). While there are aspects about him that I miss (his cooking, cuddling at night, sex of course), I don’t generally miss him. I get into a routine. I get to stay in bed until noon on a Saturday if I want. I only have to think about what I want or what I want to do.

When he’s gone, I honestly don’t like talking on the phone much either. It’s just not the same and I’m not much of a phone person anyway.

I think once he gets home, and you both have time to adjust, things will be fine. You’ve gone through a difficult period and it will take you time for things to return to “normal”. You will likely feel completely different when you actually see him again than you are feeling now.

Post # 6
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

You haven’t had time to miss him!  You have been mourning, and trying to be there for your siblings.  Our plates are only so big and yours runneth over.

Can I encourage you to call MilitaryOne Source?  Some personal counseling so that you can mourn would be good, and it sounds like you guys just need to adjust fire a bit to get the marriage off the backburner.

This happens.  When my brother was dying in 06 and my dad being terminally ill 07-jan 08, it happened to us.  (DH is civilian, I was AD).  I lived 300 miles from my family and was driving that every weekend to be with them.  DH was pretty awesome, but we were definitely on the backburner.

Your DH has been deployed so he has is own busy issues and misses you.  He isn’t here to see what you are going through so he may not understand right now.  You aren’t a bad person at all here – you are overloaded.

Please consider calling MilitaryOne Source to help ease your burden.  Best of luck to you.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors