Reasonable choices for maids or overstepping?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ms_Sophia:  If a bride wants to dictate hair and makeup, said bride pays for it.

Post # 4
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think BMs should be able to choose whatever they’re paying for. In my case they chose and paid for their on dresses and shoes. I paid for their hair but they chose their hairstyle. They did their own make-up.

Post # 5
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

For my wedding, my sister is my only maid… I told her to choose a dress she liked and we’d go from there. She liked the twist/inifinty dress, and we both liked an olive green shade. So I bought it, and I have worked out my wedding colours based around her dress. She’s going to buy her own shoes and handbag, which I am fine with and not fussed over colour etc. She has impeccible taste and will look stunning in anything.

Hair and makeup will be done by my own stylist, who is the hairdresser to us both. When it comes to a style of hair do, she can do what she likes. 

I have been a bridesmaid twice and have both times been asked to do things (colour my hair platinum blonde, get a spray tan) that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable… Not to mention the dresses. I felt incredibly uncomfortable in both dresses and with both stunning yet painful hair do’s.

For me it is most important that she feel comfortable and exude confidence.

Post # 6
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Ms_Sophia:  He who pays – says!

Is the bride paying for hair/makeup? Fine, she can have what she like BUT the bridesmaids do not have to accept. They are adults who can say no.

Is the bridesmaid paying? She can do whatever the hell she feels like. She is an adult using her own money on whatever she wants.

 

I am going to all lengths to make sure my maids are happy to buy their dresses, because they are paying for them. I have also let them know they have no requirement to have hair/makeup done, but I did mention what I like in terms of style just incase they wanted to know. They will choose to have it done or do it themselves and I couldn’t give two!

Definite Bridezilla to force them to pay for services they do not want.

Post # 8
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Luce587:  “have both times been asked to do things (colour my hair platinum blonde…”

WHAT? She asked you to bleach your hair?! What the hell, did you (or anyone) do it? Please say no!

Post # 10
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am giving my BMs a choice of which neckline they want for the dress I have chosen (it’s a line that comes in a few different strap choices), and they are also able to choose whether they have their hair and makeup done professionally or not. I’m having a service come in and they can decide what they want to do. The dress is really the only thing I’m being remotely strict upon, being that I chose the line and am only giving them they choice of neckline. If I were to require they had hair and makeup professionally done, I would be prepared to pay for it myself. I really dont think it’s right to tell them they have to spend another $150 on services they may not actually want. 

Post # 12
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Ms_Sophia:  Someone needs to call this bride out and let her know that her BM’s do not appreciate being treated like props.

Post # 14
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Ms_Sophia:  Yep I have gotten two bridesmaids dresses I hated but I knew it was something they really wanted, so I relented. But neither bride asked us to pay for anything else. One had our hair done by eachother and paid for makeup for us, while the other isn’t fussed as to what we do. If I was paying for everything I would go ahead and do the dress and tell them I couldn;t afford the services. No if’s or but’s about it!

Post # 15
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ms_Sophia:  Are you one of the bridesmaids? I think you need ask her if she’s paying. It is possible she’s paying and hasn’t mentioned it. But if she says you’re paying, that is when you politely decline and say you’ll do your own hair and makeup.

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