Post # 1
Hi ladies . . . I have a bit of a delimma here . . . regarding the cost of bridesmaids dresses and trying to be kind/ keep all bridesmaids happy.
I only have 2 bridesmaids. BM #1 has body issues and it has not wanted to coordinate dress shopping with me. She went shopping by herself and picked out a dress she likes and is asking if I will agree to her wearing it in the wedding. I have been relaxed and flexible about it — it is a different color and different length than what I told her I would like for my BMs, but at this point I just want the decision to be made. So i’m fine with this dress. The only problem is that it costs $250. BM #1 loves the dress and believes she will wear it again, so she has offered to pay for it.
BM #2 doesn’t care too much what the dress looks like, but she doesn’t like the price. I told her that I would pay $100 towards it and she could pay the remaining $150. FI and I are on a very tight budget and barely scraping by with this wedding, so at this point bridesmaid #2 will either have to pay $150 or we will have to find another dress (which brings me back to dealing with how difficult it is for BM #1 to agree to a dress!!). The problem is that BM #2 has told me “I would really love not to have to pay $150 for that dress” and then directed me to some sources with really, really cheap dresses, none of which I like. BM #2 has a great job and makes lots of $$$, but has always been extremely frugal. When I was in her wedding, I had to pay several hundred for a plane ticket, as well as $190 combined for dress, shoes and hair (all required by her for her wedding). All I’m asking her to pay is $150, and this is several years later. I’m not asking her to do shoes or hair. Should I feel guilty for saying “this is the dress, I really want you to by it for $150, and I’ll pay the $100 so it’s a more attractive price”? I just really hate to make someone pay something that they don’t want to pay, but at the same time I just want to get this bridesmaid dress decision done and over with.
Given these facts, do you think $150 is a reasonable price?
Post # 3
$150 is a reasonable price, for sure.
Are the 2 BM’s friends? Maybe they can work it out and agree on one dress?
Post # 5
It’s absolutely reasonable.
Post # 6
I think $150 is reasonable, but I do understand BM2 being annoyed to spend that kind of money on a dress she apparently doesn’t like much (or, does she just want to spend less?).
Post # 7
I’ve never spent less than $150ish on a bridesmaid dress. I let my girls pick their own dresses (with some basic guidelines) and they were all over $150. I really don’t think that’s an unreasonable price.
Post # 8
@abbie017: thanks for your reply Abbie (and everyone). I think that BM #2 thinks the dress is pretty — isn’t over the moon for it, but think’s it’s “really pretty” (her words). She just doesn’t want to spend $150 for it. Which I understand if she’s not absolutely crazy about it. I personally have never been crazy about any of my bridesmaids dresses either (when I was a bridesmaid), but I just paid for it because I knew it was party of being in the wedding, and I felt that they dresses were always “acceptable”.
To answer PP . . . . the two bridesmaids won’t actually meet until the wedding, as one lives far away, so as great as it would be to have them get together and work it out, it’s not feasible. However, maybe I could connect them via email…. that’s a thought. 🙂
Post # 9
Sadly yes. I wouldn’t spend more than that, but $150 is about the going rate.
I found my BM’s dresses online slightly cheaper ($120) so I thought that was nicer.
Post # 10
If you have a picture maybe people can help finding something similar for the same price or offer some custom options that can save you from forking out 100$ atleast. 150$ however is reasonable but if you said a certain color that should not be a bridesmaids choice to change it and run everyone over there budget.
Post # 11
Well the question is did you ask her about her budget before you started looking at dresses? Personally, I think $150 is reasonable for a dress, but that doens’t mean it fits in her budget. If it’s in her budget and she just like the style, then you are within your bridal rights to put your foot down and say that it’s the dress. If not then I recommend you either split the difference, find a new dress, or just let her pick out her own and ask that it be similar to BM #1’s dress (same color, fabric, neckline, length, etc.).
Post # 12
Totally reasonable. Especially with the fact that you are helping her with it. How many people truly LOVE a bridesmaids dress they’ve had to buy? She should just be polite and suck it up (we’ve all had to at some point lol)
Post # 13
I’ve never spent less than 150 on a bridesmaids dress so I think that’s reasonable.
Post # 14
That’s pretty much my perfect price for a dress. I’d pay more if needed, but that’s my ideal. 🙂
Post # 15
I think she’s being unreasonable.
Post # 16
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
That’s a pretty good average. Nobody wants to spend any money on a dress they won’t wear again, but that’s part of the joy of being a bridesmaid.