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@nzgirl: Im in school, i have one more year to go. While at school me and my fiance are going the long distance thing. I will be done in 2012 which gives us 2 years to focus on planning out dec 20 2014 wedding. All of our family said it was the smart way to go about things and that yes i should finish school first. At the time of our wedding we will have been engaged for 5 years, but since i go to school 4h away from my home town and 6h away from my fiance its understandable. After im done school, i will move back to my home town, as will my fiance, so it makes sense for wedding planning to wait until then
@mrschristmas: That makes sense. The long distance thing must be hard, but at least you will know if you can survive that you should be able to survive anything!
Thats great you have parent support. I think our parents are disappointed because we have already been living together for 3 years and I think they are itching for grandchildren!
We had a 19-month engagement for two reasons. One, we wanted to pay for the entire wedding ourselves so we wanted to make sure we had plenty of time to save. The longer engagement has ensured that we had enough time to save without penny pinching.
Additionally, we knew immediately we wanted to have a destination wedding. We got engaged in October but already had a family vacation to Florida planned with his family in July. We thought it would be too much for his family to have to big trips that summer. I'm busy with my job from November-March so the following winter was out as well. That's how we decided on May.
@nzgirl: long distance sucks, but it deffinately makes me appreciate more, the time i do spend with him, even the simple things like watching a movie together. It also forced us to communicate better, which is deffinately a good thing.
My parents, and his mom deffiantly want grandchilren...his dad says to wait till after the wedding...im almost 26 now, but our plan is to wait till after the wedding. I told my parents, hey, if you want to pay for our wedding this year...we'll do it, and get started on those grandchildren lol.
J proposed on Christmas Eve. I decided that night that I wanted to have a wedding in October. I knew that October 2011 was way too soon for my liking. I want to be able to plan and save money. So, it kind of worked out for us because the number 13 is his lucky number and it happens to fall on a Saturday in October 2012. That's when I decided for sure that I'd wait awhile. I got my month. He got his lucky number. We both have enough time. :)
We were engaged in June 2010 and our wedding is this October (16 months). We had a number of reasons for choosing to have a long engagement...
-We wanted a fall wedding but there was no way I could plan a wedding in 4 months.
-We like the lifestyle we live and we didn't want that to be affected just so that we could afford a wedding. Having a long engagement has allowed us plenty of time to pay for our portion of the wedding (our parents are generously contributing, too) without having to change our lifestyle (though we are a little more money concious now).
-I absolutely love being engaged. It's such an exciting time in my life and I really didn't want it to be over so quickly.
-My anniversary date at work is in October which is when my vacation reloads. Waiting 16 months to get married has allowed me to split my time off for our wedding and honeymoon between 2 years. I'll be using 2011 vacation for our actual wedding and 2012 vacation for the honeymoon. Seems like a silly thing to plan a wedding around but with my job, I desperately need time off during the year. If I would have had to use all of my vacation for our wedding/honeymoon, it would have been a rough year!
My bff had a very long engagement b/c her FI was in law school!
We had everything planned down to each little nuance of her wedding, but it turned out so amazingly gorgeous! Hers was prob the prettiest wedding I've attended (including my own, have to say).
A giant rose bow swag framing their cake table, balloon drop for their first dance, and even hand drawn stencils brought in and added onto (they were adhesive but hand drawn) for the hardwood dance floor to frame it. Beautiful large centerpieces with candles, roses, and ivy. (I heart ivy)!
It was amazing.
@DesireeAnne: Thats neat - your wedding date will be even more special now, rather than just a random date chosen because its suits.
@UpstateCait: I feel the same about being engaged, compared to a lifetime, the time you can be a fiancee (even if it is a long engagement) is so short compared to how long you will be married or single/girlfriend before that. We have planned our wedding around my holidays! I'm a teacher and our summer holidays are Dec/Jan so that was pretty much the main reason we chose our date!
We are having an 18 month engagement because I am in law school and I've always had a rule for myself that I will finish school before I get married. I'm sure if I had stopped at undergrad, it would have been a little shorter. It's nice to be able to take things in stride and change your mind a couple times! :)
We are planning on having 19 month engagement or maybe more. Some people have looked confused when Ive mentioned the longer time table. My mom said , " But, people get engaged to get married!" haha gotta love her. We are doing it for a few reasons. first and most important, we want to enjoy the moment, we don't want to start planning right away. You only get to be engaged for a short period and we are loving every min of it! If this was the only reason we would still have a long engagment. There are a couple other things that makes it convienent though. Financially we are planning on paying for our own wedding and that gives us time to put it aside slowly and not have to stress about it. and the last thing is that my sister is enaged and getting married this coming Oct. Its really important to me to give her the whole time to focus on her and her planning and celebration. I don't want to steal her thunder in anyway. It just works for us, and I think people who rush to the alter without even taking a month or two to just be together in this moment without planning really miss out on a special time that will never come again in your relationship.
@bellenga: That is the good thing about long engagements, plenty of time to think about smaller details, but I find its also a curse as I keep changing my mind as I come across different ideas! Your bff's wedding sounds amazing - I also love Ivy.
I will not be married until July 2014. Reasons for the long engagement, I have another year of school to finish then another year to do government exams etc. Plus we would like to pay for our wedding in cash and not go into debt. My mother is giving us some money as a wedding gift and the rest we are paying for. We would like to have time to search out different options and things we like. Mainly we want to be stable and ready financially and emotionally and not stressed. I have two friends 9one getting married this year and one next) both are stressed adn the one next year is considered moving her date back because she has no time. Also we have been dating for 5 years and known each other for 15 so we have lots of patience.
We got engaged the first week of June 2009 and got married October 30th, 2010, which is 17 months. Mainly, we did it because DH was in a hardcore military training program and had to graduate before we could plan anything. Beyond that, I just really, really wanted to get married at Halloween.
By the time we get married, our engagement will have been almost 2 years. This is primarily for my fiance's benefit since he's going into his third year of law school. I figured it will be best to wait until he's done with school and has taken the Bar exam. It will also allow us to save up some money.
We also had a two year wedding. We paid for our wedding ourselves and wanted to pay cash and we also wanted my dream wedding. We were officially engaged April 1st of 2009 and married March 31st of 2011.
I like having a long engagement, more time to plan and save money. We will be getting married on our 5th year anniversary! <3
we are having a 16-month engagement- engaged 5.16.11, will be married 10.6.12. reasons include wanting a fall wedding so we could be married outdoors without dying from heat/not during hurricane season, and that this fall was way too soon. saving without stressing was also a major priority, as was the manipulatingm of vacation time/work scheduling.
FI proposed on our 8 months anniversary which was January 15th, 2012 and we decided that our wedding date will be on March 14, 2015. He's a math major at the University and it's a pi day. (3.1415...)
Three years engagment is ideal for us because we will be done with school by then. We are expected to graduate in December 2014.
My FI and I will not be getting married until 2015...at the earliest. I am still at university for another two and a half years, possibly longer if i change from full time to part time, and we want to live together for about a year at least before getting married. So saving to move out and get jobs and careers sorted is our priority right now (although first saving to go to Europe next year :))
I would have a longer one because:
a) I am a high anxiety individual so i wouldnt want the stress of planning everything quick.
b) i would not want to go heavily into debt.
That being said, my SO's family would be dissapointed. His mother has already stated she doesnt see the point of long engagement. But i have seen the weddings thrown together in short engagements...and i dont want to regret not taking my time.
We're having a very long engagement(2/3 years) as I'm doing an MA while working full-time and also we want to save loads of money and have a cracking destination wedding and honeymoon!
Ours is 28 months (or just under 2.5 years) and there are a LOT of really good reasons for taking so long.
The biggest thing is financial ability. We got engaged last year when FI was finishing up school. I was still a temp at my job, he wasn't even working... we had zero money to plan a wedding at the time. Even now, a year later, we're just getting a point where random debts from this, that and the other thing are paid off and we can start actually saving money. We want a nice, memorable wedding that doesn't require a bunch of corner-cutting to get the end result because we can't afford the things we really want. That said, we are budgeting to ensure the 2-3 really, really important things get the biggest percentage of the money while others are either foregone or reduced.
Also, I think we needed time to adjust to the change in our relationship. Unlike people who start dating in their mid-late twenties or later, our relationship began during college and it's been hard growing up attached to another person. Getting engaged was huge, and we both wanted to ensure we were ready to make the commitment and have a marriage. We both take marriage very, very seriously and would never go into it without being ready.
Aaaand superficially, a long engagement is giving both of us time to "ready" our bodies for the one day that will be most documented out of our entire lives. I have a lot of weight to lose and he's toning up himself, so the time has made us both more relaxed and able to do that.
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We will have had a 2 year engagement by the time we get married, both our families were disappointed when they found out. But recently I have noticed a lot more people having longer engagements.
So I was just curious to hear other peoples reasons? We decided to because we wanted to be able to afford the wedding without going into debt, we wanted our house to be fully renovated by the time we get married and we wanted to hopefully be ready (financially and emotionally) to start a family straight after the wedding - so far all on track so fingers crossed!
If you are having a long engagement - what are your reasons behind it?