Post # 1
So this post is mostly meant to support those of you who are waiting to TTC but going crazy with baby fever. For those of you with children or who are pregnant, please do not take this the wrong way 🙂 I just think it’s important that women try to enjoy NOT being pregnant and all the wonderful things you can do (more easily) without babies (instead of wishing this fabulous time away). Don’t get me wrong.. I have baby fever and my heart and my head tend to battle about when the right time is. My husband says he is ready when I am which makes it even harder. I am trying to wait so that I have no regrets and here are some of my favorite things about not having a baby now. What are yours?
1. Booking last minute trips – should we go to California for the weekend? Sure, why not! Day trips, weekend road trips… I love being spontaneous. Travel in general. There are so many places to visit that would be way easier without babies.
2. Sleeping in, staying in pajamas, cuddling in bed and watching net flix all day long.
4. Saving money, spending money on whatever I want. It may sound selfish, but I feel I deserve to have some time to do that. Clothes, massages, manis, it’s nice to have money to spoil myself!
5. Feeling proud of my career and establishing myself – after 8 years of school, it feels awesome to be proud of my job and feel that I am doing something meaningful. I can work late, and really put everything into my job now without feeling guilty.
6. Time for hobbies- cooking 4 course meals on the weekend, going to the gym, traveling, skiing, taking new classes.
7. Enjoying being somewhat fit. I know someday I’ll look back at my pre pregnancy body and miss it!
I know there are probably lots of wonderful reasons women love having babies, but the truth is pre-babies is pretty good too!
Post # 2
MissGeeBee: I agree with all, but #7…I know a lot of momma’s immediately post-pregnancy, and even years thereafter whom have a way better body than they did before 🙂 And are way stronger than they ever imagined they could be!! (I hope to be one of those, which is why I pointed it out :))
My DH and myself JUST got married, and we would have a baby tomorrow. Most days, I would too. We both want it, very much. For those close/personal confidents we have shared our family-making plans with, we get asked ‘why wait?! Parenthood is AMAZING!’ And we believe it to be, or else we would not undergo such an awesome, and yet hard task.
For me, I acknowledge being a ‘mom’ starts on day 1, whereas Dh has 9-10 months to really get used to it. I want to take this summer, and enjoy social events FULLY, with a glass of wine in hand. We have a lot of weekend getaways planned; for fun, for weddings, you name it, and I did not want to go thru 1st trimester sleepiness, and maybe naseauness thru them either. And, our honeymoon is scheduled this fall. I am all about trying for a baby, but choose to not be with child. My DH supports my reasons, and therefore, we are waiting a few more months 🙂
Post # 3
We’re pregnant now and I think your reasons are great! Minus 7….I’m also hoping / expecting that my body and fitness will return to normal after I have the baby.
We waited about a year and a half after getting married to start TTC…and it happened pretty quickly. I’m really glad we had time and opportunity to do all the great things you mention. I’m taking the last couple months of pregnancy to enjoy everything I can, particularly sleep :).
Post # 4
MissGeeBee: I am currently pregnant, but I really enjoyed my 20s and early 30s being not pregnant for the reasons you listed. Like other posters said, #7 is hit or miss depending on your body type; my mom got her original body back plus bigger boobs, so I’m really hoping for that lol.
Post # 5
Drinking!! We actually pulled the goalie this month, and now I’m wishing we had waited a few more months because it will be so hard to break the habit of relaxing with a cold beer on those hot summer evenings. But, if it happens, I’ll live.
Post # 6
housebee: Ha and I’m hoping to have smaller boobs after having a baby some day. If it doesn’t happen naturally then it will happen surgically!
Post # 7
MissGeeBee: I’m on the same boat as you are right now!
Post # 8
OUgal0004: I hope to be one of those moms as well as I’m really struggling with weight now without baby. I can’t imagine it getting worse! 🙁
As for what I savor as a not-yet-TTCer:
1) DH and I are moving cross-country this summer, and while it’s going to be a challenge and really risky, it’s nowhere as hard or as risky as it would be with a baby in tow.
2) I can have wine on the weekends sans guilt.
3) I can have my sleeping in time on the weekends.
4) I can shop guilt-free. I have a friend who has two kids, and she always feels super guilty and terrible for spending money on herself even if it’s something small at Walmart.
5) My only “problem” with making last-minute going out to dinner plans is that it gets in the way of my workout.
MissGeeBee: I saw your #5 – I will say that I will not feel guilty for working and having my career even if I have a kid. I grew up very poor and faced the world as a had-not and it scarred me to this day. I know that should I have kids, they will not be on the outside looking in the way I was. And realistically, the only way to make this possible is by having both DH and me work.
Post # 9
yeah definitely to all of these things. i’m trying to enjoy these last couple of years with just DH and i before we dedicate 25 years of our life to raising children. it’s a precious time and shouldn’t be rushed, for sure!
Post # 10
MrsNewDay: I am in the best shape I have ever been in, and I cannot imagine just ‘giving up’ all the effort I have put forward because I have a baby. Sure, it will take time, but I hope I can keep this mentality, and mojo 🙂
Post # 11
Earlier this spring there was the possibility that we were going to start TTC right away. But then plans changed and we’re waiting. I was bummed at first. Then I remembered the wine events held at our zoo in the summer – You go after work on a Thursday and walk all over the zoo and they have food and wine stations set up and they bring out animals for you to interact with. It’s awesome. We already went to one event and we’re going to another in two weeks!
And sleeping in. And napping. Really all sleeping.
And traveling easily. We are home, maybe, one weekend per month now and I imagine that we’ll still travel once baby is here, but it will be much more complicated.
Post # 12
MissGeeBee: these are all great things I am trying to relish as well! I have baby fever too, and would love one tomorrow if it wasn’t for our financial position. Don’t get me wrong, plenty of people I know with less than us have had babies and are doing well raising them. However that is not a position I would like to be in if we have the choice. So our main reason for waiting right now is financial. I can only imagine how much more stressful dealing with monthly CC debt and such on top of a baby would be! So we are paying that down as fast as we can…
I do want to add:
-drinking!!! DH and I have been chuggin it up because I feel like one day soon we won’t be able to, or feel comfortable, with being shit faced drunk together on a friday night at home….
-weekends with our friends. We go out to the river or camping or hiking alot in the summer. I can imagine a toddler and even full grown kid would love these things, but I can see it being way more difficult with a baby. Right now we are really enjoying being able to packup the cooler, a few chairs, and DRINKS!, and be out the door in less than half an hour. Which means prime river spot frontage!!
-responsibilities. I am trying to slowly be ok with shrugging off my responsibilities at the right moments. My house doesn’t need to be cleaned every single day/week- more river & drinking time! I don’t have to worry about getting to bed early for work- I can be tired the next morning it doesn’t matter! One day soon, I will have so many more responsibilities I’m sure I’ll look back and wonder why I wasn’t out having fun when I still had the time…
Post # 13
MissGeeBee: I just had this conversation with my fiance the other day! A friend with a one year old was saying how everyone around this age has baby fever- I didn’t want to offend her, but I certaintly don’t for all the reasons listed! I know eventually I’ll be ready, but I think it’s great that women can admit and feel good about the fact they are not ready for or don’t want kids right now:)
Post # 14
Everyone always asks me why we haven’t started TTC, yet. There are just so many things i’d like to experiance before we start trying, many of them are what PP’s have mentioned, but others are :
– We want to be married & own a home first – experiance being husband & wife. We honestly don’t know any married couple who didn’t have kids before they were married!
– We aren’t the partying type, but sometimes we just like to go out and have fun. Maybe we’ll both get off work before our days off, and go to Chicago and not come back for a few days. We love having our freedom.
– Between both of us, we have ALOT of hobbies. From gardening, to video games, to walking our dog, to spending a night watching non stop Walking Dead on netflix.. we can’t help it! We’re pretty selfish with our time.
– Just not ready. It’s not to say that we would be upset if we got pregnant now, I mean, it could happen. And we’d find a way to deal, but honestly, neither of us feel ready. We both want children, just not NOW.
Post # 15
howtobeawife: Hopefully we’ll both get we want 😉 I was hoping for bigger feet too, but so far that hasn’t happened lol.