(Closed) Reasons my Bridesmaids can't make it to my Bachelorette Party

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
3947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I understand a couple of these reasons.   I am in an upcoming wedding of a friends and I really can’t afford to do all the activities, events, dinner, brunch, etc. that they all want to do.  And I can’t just sit there and eat bread and water while they all eat their $60 meals. 

I also understand not being able to take off work.  I work 7 days a week and obviously (from above) can’t afford to take a day off.

Don’t take it personally.  As long as they’ve been a part of your shower, engagement party, and will be there the day of to love and support you is all that matters!

Post # 6
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I haven’t had mine yet, but I am 90% sure two of them won’t be there. One is out of town, and the other doesn’t seem to give a crap about me. (She never shows up for anything and doesn’t return my calls). How many people will end up coming to your bachlorette if those people don’t make it?

I’m even wondering I will even bother. My MOH has already said she wants to plan one, but what’s the point if no one comes? I totally get that it can be discouraging. My advice would be to try and forget about them and have the most fun you can. Sorry it’s not very helpful.

Post # 7
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well, I can’t really relate since I didn’t have a bachelorette party….but have they been to lots of wedding events already, or are spending considerable time and money travelling to the wedding?  It sometimes seems like in recent years weddings and pre-wedding events/expectations have just exploded in general and that very quickly leads to disappointed brides and hurt feelings when loved ones don’t always see these events as important or critical and they feel a lot of pressure to “perform” rather than enjoy.  Obviously this isn’t directed at you specifically, it’s just a general observation of lots of posts I see.

I know it seems sucky, and for sure it can be seen as a bit hurtful, but perhaps there’s a deeper explanation as to why each person needs to prioritize this event as compared to the “big picture” of the wedding.  Does that make sense?

Sorry your feelings are hurt by this.

Post # 8
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Two of mine didn’t make it because of money (one had to fly from london and the other has a baby) and I still had a blast. The truth is a bachelorette party isn’t as important as keeping your job/paying your bills.

Post # 11
Member
527 posts
Busy bee

Yes… they were!  My MOH took me to Vegas, by ourselves, and my sister took me to Glen Ivy.  My three other bridesmaids did not do anything. 

Post # 13
Member
12827 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, I understand all of the reasons.  It’s really unfortunate, but they’re all legitimate reasons.  No one said, “I tihnk I’ll be sick that weekend” or waited until the last second to flake.  You can’t judge people for being concerned about their finances. 

Is there any way you can change the plans and have a fun spa day or something prior to the wedding when they’re all in town? 

Post # 14
Member
5969 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@ChampagneBlushWedding:  That’s too bad….I know how much it hurts to find out that in the realm of your friend’s priorities, you are not one…..BUT, just because your BM’s can’t get it together does not detract from the fun the evening will be!  I wouldn’t want someone dragging themselves to a fun night on the town, then pleading poverty the whole night through…talk about a party pooper!

You get yourself a new outfit, and that includes shoes, get all done up and have some fun with the people that are interested and invested in YOU! 

Post # 16
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ChampagneBlushWedding:  It’s a bummer she can’t make it, but all of her reasons are legit.  I definitely wouldn’t take it personally.  Even though she knew about it for a year, that doesn’t mean she can still afford to take the extra time off.  Don’t worry, you’ll still have fun at your bacherlorette!

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