My fiance waited almost a year to propose to me and I went pretty much crazy in that time, which wasn’t a good thing at all! Now that we’re engaged I feel more comfortable posting my reasons for why he waited so long…
– He had some reservations based on both of our previous marriages, something I didn’t take into consideration throughout the whole process.
– The more upset/depressed I got about waiting, the more he waited because he was worried that he wouldn’t be able to make me happy for the rest of our lives and that terrified him
– He was genuinely totally stressed out about the ring. I didn’t know until last week but I guess his ex wife made him exchange the ring FOUR times before liking one. And even then she would tell people that it wasn’t good enough
– Mine and his versions of “waiting” were different. As soon as we talked about marriage, in my head, that meant that we were waiting, to him though, that was just an “in the future” talk. I think we waited for almost a year, he thought it was more like just a few months
– He was worried about the proposal because he wanted it to be perfect
– We had a huge fight where we ended up taking a break for two weeks because I didn’t think we wanted the same thing. This actually hurt us and our chances of engagement because he was scared that I would always walk out when things got tough. It’s something that we both learned a lot from, we also learned that we can’t live without one another.
– We had already agreed on a small wedding but sometimes when we would talk wedding stuff I made it sound like it would be a lot bigger and that freaked him out and caused him to hold off
All in all, it was a vicious cycle and the ONLY thing that rescued both of us from it was communication and LOTS of it.
ETA: He did think that there was no rush because he knows how much I love him and how great we are together and he felt like I would never leave. He was shocked and heartbroken when I said we need to take a break because he didn’t see it coming at all.. we own a home together and I think that did delay things because it already solidified us as a couple.
And, I want to say that now we’re engaged everything I felt before has completely melted away. I hold no resentment towards him and I have no more negative feelings about waiting. We’re both ridiculously excited for the wedding and to be married to one another and that triumphs any of those old feelings I had 🙂